Frequently Asked Questions About Cognitive Dissonance

Are you having problems with your significant other because of psychological conflict? This conflict may be a sign of cognitive dissonance. It is common in every relationship, but most people are not aware of it.

If you want to know more about cognitive dissonance and how you can manage it, read on.

The word “cognitive” relates to conscious intellectual activities like thinking, remembering, and reasoning. On the other hand, dissonance refers to the lack of agreement.

Social psychologist Leon Festinger first introduced the Cognitive Dissonance Theory (CDT) in 1957. It refers to the discomfort in maintaining consistency between two thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, and values. We struggle once we find conflict within these multiple cognitions.

So, what is the connection of cognitive dissonance to relationships?

Your current significant other may not be your ideal partner, but you accept them for who they are and stay in the relationship. Another example is when your partner does things you’re not fond of, but you try to compromise with them.

When these things happen, you have a conflict between your cognition and your partner’s. That is cognitive dissonance.

Moreover, cognitive dissonance may lead to infidelity. There may be a discrepancy in a person’s self-concept, leading them to cheat even if they believe they are loyal and faithful.  When this happens, they experience psychological discomfort, affecting their thoughts and feelings.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy where you talk to your therapist regarding your thoughts, feelings, and conflicts. This therapy aids in resolving disagreements in relationships, among many issues. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help if you struggle with opening up about your feelings.

You should always consult an expert—your mental health provider, for advice. They can recommend any treatment, like therapies, they deem helpful for you.

Below are some frequently asked questions about cognitive dissonance.

What is cognitive dissonance therapy?

If the consequences of cognitive dissonance have become too severe, you can seek the help of a therapist. You might discover that specific thoughts are influencing your behavior for the worse.

Your therapist will work with you to untangle the web of beliefs and ideas you may have about a situation. Once you recognize the disparity between your thoughts and behavior, it becomes easier to resolve it.

Why is cognitive dissonance bad?

Cognitive dissonance is not always harmful. But if your behavior is not aligned with your core values, you may experience intense feelings. It may include feelings of shame, guilt, and stress. These emotions can negatively affect your self-esteem and interpersonal relationships.

As a result, you might engage in maladaptive behaviors to reconcile the contradictions.

Is cognitive dissonance a disorder?

No, but it can cause emotional distress and harmful behaviors. People may deliberately avoid information that does not conform to their beliefs. They may also refuse a healthy debate to resolve the conflict. In some cases, cognitive dissonance can strain relationships and prevent self-growth.

What is cognitive dissonance in relationships?

It refers to the dissonance that arises when your partner’s beliefs or behaviors may not align with your own. Your partner may have different views on mundane things. But you need to be on the same boat when it comes to planning your future.

You may choose to have an in-depth conversation to resolve the cognitive dissonance or make compromises.

What are the 4 types of relationships?

The four types of interpersonal relationships are between families, friends, acquaintances, and romantic partners. Relationships are bonds between two or more people. It can be long-lasting or short-lived. The duration depends on the commitment of those involved to maintain the relationship.

 

What are some examples of cognitive dissonance?

A person may experience cognitive dissonance due to inherited beliefs about themselves and the world. One example is smokers and alcoholics justifying their harmful habits.

Another example is when a person is taught that being gay is a sin. They might experience cognitive dissonance when the person then identifies as a member of the said community. It can also come in the form of acquired biases or misconceptions about minority groups.

How do you break cognitive dissonance?

It might be impossible to eliminate cognitive dissonance. However, you can reduce the resulting mental tension by changing your behavior.

You can also alter your beliefs so that they are in accordance with your actions. It might be uncomfortable, but you may have to unlearn and relearn particular ideas that may not be relevant anymore.

How do you recognize cognitive dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is when you feel conflicted over something but do not know how to move forward. It might be hard to recognize it at the onset, but you can take a step back to ask why you feel conflicted.

Pay close attention to the thoughts, feelings, and ideas you have about a situation. For severe cases of cognitive dissonance, it’s best to seek professional help.

How does cognitive dissonance lead to an attitude change?

To reduce cognitive dissonance, a person may:

  1. Change their existing beliefs,
  2. Acquire new information that supports their belief, or
  3. Reduce the importance of said beliefs.

A person seeking to sustain their smoking habit can refuse to believe that smoking is harmful. They may also seek out information that confirms their belief. They may even adopt a belief that the short-term benefits of smoking outweigh the long-term consequences.

How does cognitive dissonance affect workplace behavior?

It varies depending on their beliefs and behaviors. But then,  cognitive dissonance can affect employee performance and work relationships. For instance, an employee may discover that the company has questionable practices that do not align with his values. To reduce the tension, they may justify unethical behavior.

At the same time, there is also a tendency to make excessive rationalizations. They may lose motivation to perform their job. It is also possible to experience heightened workplace stress that can affect their productivity.

Why does cognitive dissonance occur?

Cognitive dissonance occurs due to discrepancies between a person’s beliefs and actions or their beliefs and values. It’s not always possible to act in strict accordance with our beliefs all the time.  Cognitive dissonance is a necessary component of a child’s learning process.

What is an example of dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is when a person knows that smoking is harmful to their health but keeps on doing it anyway. Another example is when you keep making excuses to put off exercise even though you’re aware of its many health benefits.

How does cognitive dissonance operate in everyday life?

Cognitive dissonance is not always blatant. It usually comes in the form of everyday excuses we make in life. From missing an exercise day or justifying a “white lie,” we sometimes think or do things that contradict our values. The tension depends on how severe the contradiction is.

What is cognitive conflict?

Cognitive conflict is another term for cognitive dissonance. When a person …

Frequently Asked Questions About Depression And Relationships

It is funny how a relationship gets ruin for no reason. Yes, a relationship may fail even without the presence of a third party. That is because emotional and mental health issues can become a factor. Some might not agree with that, I know. But for those couples who are struggling with mental and emotional health issues, the reality is different.

Not all relationships can work, especially when one or both of them already decided that things aren’t under control. Some instances believe that the mere reason for a failed commitment is falling out of love. But I doubt that. No one easily falls out of love just because they think it’s trendy or entirely necessary. There is a strong reason behind that statement, and for quite a while, I realized it was all because of the mental and emotional damage present in the relationship.

You might not agree with me, but let me explain some things to you from these frequently asked questions. From there, it is your choice to look deep into these answers and try to use them for your own relationship evaluation.

Source: pixabay.com

How does mental illness affect relationships? 

Mental health problems are an extremely painful and traumatic moment for all individuals as it creates a huge impact on emotional components. It impacts people’s ability to express empathy due to the persistent feelings of anxiety and isolation and causes codependency or even resentment. There is a struggle to know what individuals should do to cope with their stress while trying their best to handle other life pressure.

Anxiety and depression affect relationships in a very unnoticeable way. Sometimes, it can leave both parties unaware of their words, actions, and behaviors. Often, the mental health condition makes it impossible for both individuals to look beneath what is more important.

 What is the relationship between stress and depression? 

When stress is prolonged and promotes an overwhelming feeling, the risks for developing medical problems and mental health problems increase. Chronic stressful life situations are inevitable. Thus, the possibility of depression is right around the corner. However, the damages are not limited to that. Stress contributes to more health issues such as sleep problems, substance use problems, pain, bodily complaints, inability to focus and concentrate, etc.

 What are the types of depression? 

The common types of depression are Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), Psychotic Depression, Peripartum (Postpartum) Depression, and Situational Depression.

 What diseases are linked to depression? 

Some examples of diseases linked to depression are arthritis, kidney disease, diabetes, heart disease, lupus, HIV/AIDS, and multiple sclerosis (MS). Even Hypothyroidism also leads to depressed feelings. That is due to the fears and anxiety that tend to build-up over time.

Source: pixabay.com

 What is the number one cause of depression?

Research shows that depression does not just occur from simply having too little or too much of certain chemicals in the brain. Rather, there are many possible causes of the mental disorder including, genetic vulnerability, abuse, addiction, death or loss of a loved one, conflict, medications, stressful life events, dysfunctional emotions, and medical problems.

How does depression change your personality?

Though not all the time, depression can still change someone’s personality in an instant. Often individuals become irritable, frustrated, angry, and impulsive. And despite knowing the cause of the emotional and mental issues, both couples tend to ignore it because of their irrational thinking. In cases where couples attempt to quell the pain, some turn to cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, and other unhealthy habits that risk their health even further. They do not understand that mental health is associated with high risks of violence, other forms of self-harm, and suicide.

Why do females have a higher rate of depression than males?

Depression rates are higher in females than in males, especially after hitting puberty. That is because girls usually enter puberty before boys do. Thus, they’re more likely to develop earlier emotional and mental issues regarding desire, self-image, peer pressure, etc.

But despite that information, it does not mean men are less affected. While females may have higher rates of depression, males are often victims of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. That is because of gender roles where society perceived males as dominant creature that is somehow not allowed to feel or show weakness.

How do you deal with sadness in a relationship?

While everyone’s depression experience is unique, few things can help couples address the situation. The first and foremost step is to educate themselves about the danger of depression. Both need to separate facts from fiction. The couples should focus on taking care of one another and find support with each other’s presence. Both of them should not take their stress and anxiety personally, and they should not lash out at one another. They need to become a team to win over their mental health issues.

Source: pixabay.com

What is a toxic relationship?

The answer is simple. A toxic relationship is when couples don’t support each other. When the goal of one of them is to undermine the other, then that is considered a toxic relationship. Everything around these people is competition, compensation, favors, and extreme imbalance. Toxic relationships do not compromise, give, forgive and forget.

How do you know if your partner is mentally unstable?

It is vital to pay close attention to your partner when it comes to depressive symptoms that are affecting your relationship. One way to identify if your loved one is mentally unstable is when there is often aggression. When your partner often gets upset, he or she might be dealing with emotional and mental issues that are hard to express. When your partner loses interest or shows no empathy towards you, that is also a sign of unstable mental health. When your partner cannot admit mistakes, fears criticisms, stiff with others, dramatic or overacting, then those are warning signs too.

Takeaway

Be mindful that not because you think your partner is okay does not mean he or she is. It would be nice for to you talk with your loved ones about his thoughts and feelings. Allow your partner to express his emotional and mental struggle. Because sometimes, the only way you can get rid of depression is through being there for the one you love.

 …

Frequently Asked Questions About Family Therapy

Family therapy is a helpful tool for strengthening bonds within your family. This treatment aims to improve communication, strengthen the family’s decision-making skills, and solve relationship problems.

Family therapy deals with family dynamics and relations. Although different from individual treatment, it can still work alongside.

For example, a patient going through therapy for their eating habits will need their family’s support. With the whole family attending the session, the therapist can address external factors affecting the patient’s behavior.

Therapists typically use the family systems therapy. With this, they treat the family as a single unit. Several approaches fall under this type of therapy.

The approaches include strategic family therapy, structural family therapy, and integrational family therapy. It is the role of the therapist to identify which of these approaches suit a specific family best.

Although family therapy is a common and beneficial practice, there are still misconceptions about it. Some may think therapy is only for broken or suffering families.

But in reality, families go through therapy for many reasons. Some seek mental health help to address trauma or grief. Meanwhile, others need assistance for children with ADHD or teenagers suffering from substance abuse. Still, some would seek help for eating disorders and other mental illnesses.

At the same time, family therapists can also help adults going through financial troubles. But then, some families also seek therapy to improve their family dynamics. Some may perceive these issues negatively, but these situations are all part of human nature.

Other pushing points may also include significant changes, like a child moving away for school or a blended family coming together.

Additionally, some people who know about family therapy may still have far too many unanswered questions. And the thing is, it may be challenging to gather up all answers in one reading.

Below are FAQs regarding family therapy to inform you and clear any misconceptions you may have about it. Here, you will also learn about what you can expect at a family therapy clinic, including session duration and costs.

You can also expect an overview of the advantages and disadvantages of this therapy to guide you.

What do family therapists do?

Family therapists help mend relationships within your household. By looking at each member’s individual role and power dynamics, family therapists can improve your family member’s mental health.

They can help treat depression, anxiety, and other psychological problems caused by or related to your family. Although they may conduct individual interviews or sessions, family therapists apply a family-centric approach to therapy.

How much does an MFT charge per hour?

A marital and family therapist usually charges around $100 per session. However, the cost of therapy ranges from $70 to $250 per hour. Thus, rates may vary depending on your MFT. Some family therapists accept insurance, so make sure your provider also covers costs for therapy.

Is an MFT a psychologist?

MFTs and clinical psychologists are both part of the core mental health professionals but are different in their ways. Before passing as MFTs, they must attain a master’s degree and receive at least two years of supervised clinical training.

On the other hand, clinical psychologists must accomplish a doctorate and train for at least a year. Aside from educational and training background, an MFT is specialized in treating mental disorders within the context of a relationship.

In comparison, clinical psychologists focus more on treating conditions with an individual-focused approach.

What typically happens in family therapy?

First, the MFT asks what problems are bothering your family and how each member views these situations. The MFT will then interview each member to determine the individual roles in the family. By learning about these respective roles, your family therapist will understand your familial relations.

Aside from helping you in your weaknesses, MFTs also find your family’s strengths so you can maintain such habits. Your therapist will then provide you with health treatment plans and serve as a mediator for conflict within the family.

Can therapists treat family members?

Family therapists treat family members by addressing the symptoms associated with mental conditions. At times, solving family crises can help improve the mental health conditions of family members.

However, there are instances when factors outside of the family cause mental health conditions. Thus, these family members with other mental health disorders can seek help from clinical psychologists instead.

What are the disadvantages of family therapy?

During family therapy, there is a tendency to have differing interpretations of a session. This disparity can sometimes lead to further conflicts, which may add difficulty to mending familial relationships.

In some situations, family therapy may teach younger children to bottle up feelings and thoughts instead of sharing them. However, with a proper approach, these disadvantages can be avoided altogether.

Like most treatment methods, family therapy has both advantages and disadvantages to your family dynamic. At the onset, family therapy brings to light all the complications at home to the point of creating tension.

What is the difference between family therapy and individual therapy?

Family therapy focuses on social factors such as communication and relationships in addressing your mental health problems. On the other hand, individual therapy emphasizes self-esteem, personality building, mindfulness, and different cognitive-behavioral approaches.

Another difference lies in the goals of each treatment. Both therapy approaches aim to improve the patients’ mental health, but family therapy also focuses on fixing your familial relationship.

Family therapy and individual therapy can improve the mental health even when they differ in the treatment approach.

How does family systems therapy work?

Family systems therapy views the family as a single emotional unit. This kind of treatment speaks about how each family member’s behavior is affected by its origins, functions, and relationship.

Family systems therapy thus determines how the family dynamic affects each person. By knowing how the family dynamic works, families can work together to control their situations better.

Should family members have the same therapist?

There are some benefits to having the same therapist, especially if family members need medical attention due to problems arising at home. However, it is not always the case.

In some situations, it can also be unhealthy for family members to have the same therapist. Having the same therapist can create some tension and increase the risks of confidentiality breaches.

Censoring parts of a story can also become useless if your other family member shares the same tale unfiltered.

How long do therapy sessions usually last?

Individual therapy sessions usually last 40-60 minutes, while group therapies may last up to 90 minutes. Consequently, family therapy can take up 50-55 minutes of your time.

Family therapy sessions also tend to be shorter as compared to other types of treatments. Family therapies usually last 12 sessions. However, some families can extend for more periods depending on their specific situation.

Which type of therapy is best?

It depends on what …

Promoting Family Mental Health During The Pandemic

Promoting Family Mental Health During The Pandemic

At this time of the pandemic, it is vital to remain as healthy as possible. Staying healthy as a family is rewarding because you can avoid unnecessary vulnerability to diseases and unexpected medical expenses. While maintaining physical health is necessary, having a good state of mind with the family is essential to a holistic approach to overall health. Promoting mental health is also one way to cope up with the psychological stress of the pandemic. 

Parents, the primary decision-makers in the family, play a crucial role during the pandemic. Their parental parts have now become more taxing because of the new work arrangements and tight health protocols in essential establishments such as the grocery and the bank.

Exploring Mental Health

Learning about mental health with the family is a fulfilling experience. The family can get to know more about each other by exploring the member’s mental health. Knowing more about the mental state can help in understanding the psychological needs of the family. Behaviors and intentions become more transparent and better understood when acknowledged by the family.

Information about mental health is free on most websites. Be sure to check the credibility and reputability of the source for factual knowledge. If you want a detailed discussion about mental health, you can also set an appointment with a psychologist or a psychiatrist. 

Ways To Cope With Stress

The pandemic is causing stress and is dramatically impacting the psychological well-being of most people. Because of COVID-19, numerous people lost their jobs, businesses closed down, and even the children are feeling stressed. It is a challenging time for everyone. This unforeseen circumstance led to unexpected changes that everyone has to adapt to. In times like this, it is essential to find ways to cope that works best for you.

Children should have activities to stimulate their thinking and their bodies. They may feel bored and anxious because they may not fully understand what is going on, so explain it to them well. If possible, try to minimize screen time to facilitate more physical activities. Encourage your children to try different activities they may enjoy, such as arts, crafts, reading, exercising, and gardening. Child mental health needs critical focus because they, too, can feel the effects of the pandemic.

Parents also need to have a way of coping. Find time to do things that relax your mind, such as spending quality time with the family, cooking, working out and other hobbies that you might have put off. You can also try doing things together with your family to be productive and show support to each other. 

Prevent Unhealthy Habits

During the pandemic, people need to stay at home most of the time. You could find new hobbies and pastimes to keep you feeling productive and active. However, it is crucial to make sure that these new activities are healthy. Beware that some hobbies that could be detrimental to you and your family and can further add stress and psychological strain.

For children, it is necessary to control their time on gadgets and other digital media. It is essential to instill discipline in children to prevent the disruption from their responsibilities. The screen time should be limited to allow the children to do their chores and daily tasks. Setting boundaries and scheduling help them know the value of time. These can also prevent overexposure to activities that could lead to addiction.

Meanwhile, adults are prone to addiction and vices. Some people may develop detrimental habits during the pandemic as a way to cope with the situation. To prevent this from happening, couples should support each other to keep their partners from bad habits. Help your partner get distracted by exploring new activities together as a replacement to the vices. Never hesitate to seek professional help if you and your partner feel helpless.

Supporting Each Other’s Problems

The pandemic has caused many difficulties and threats to humanity. From battling the disease’s complications to facing the economic crises, almost everyone is at their limits. To survive this pandemic, it is critical to stay resilient and adaptive. As a family, you need to support each other because a robust support system can do wonders for the family members.

Whether you have a family member who is sick or someone who lost a job, be sure to support them in the best way possible.

Having a family member with health complications is one of the last things you want to happen in your family. It is debilitating to the function of family members and causes severe emotional and mental stress. But by being there for each other, it can help release the psychological stress and ease the emotional burden. You can also look for support from your relatives and social groups. 

With or without the pandemic, it is not easy to accept losing a job. This circumstance typically results in the questioning of self-worth and value. At the same time, it threatens the economic security of the family. If you have a family member going through this challenging situation, be sure to be there to reassure them of their value and that there is still hope for them.

Having good mental health with your family will be a daunting but fulfilling task. You get to know each other’s behaviors and learn more about their emotional needs. Explore different ways to cope with the effects of the pandemic together with the family. Support one another with the struggles and problems by showing appreciation and value to each other. 

Always have hope and faith in your family that you can make it through this pandemic. No matter how hard life will be, having a supportive family ensures that you will find a calm center in your life.

Healthy Family, Healthy Marriage: How To Nurture Your Family’s Health And Wellness During The Pandemic

Today, we are faced with many stressful situations and unfamiliar circumstances brought by the COVID-19 pandemic. We are called to navigate through a new normal and change the way we spend our days mostly just stuck at home. This can be a tough time for families and marriages, and it could trigger anxiety and fear for anyone, both young and old. 

It is essential to look out for your family’s health and wellness during this time. The “new normal” can leave anyone feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. So we must find ways to stay stable and positive despite all the uncertainties. Here are practical ways to nurture your family’s health and wellness during the pandemic. 

Establish A Healthy Routine At Home 

A healthy routine at home is essential because it gives a sense of order amidst all the changes and adjustments that can be quite overwhelming and stressful. This way, there is somehow a continuous flow of events or activities that are predictable despite all the uncertainties the pandemic has brought about. 

For young children, routines are established for them to know what to expect in their day and eventually find rhythm and independence. During these uncertain times, this could apply to people of all ages because everyone is called to navigate through a new normal, which has changed the way we spend our days. 

Strengthen The Immune System 

A healthy immune system is needed now more than ever as we all go through this pandemic. This is our number one shield from contracting the coronavirus. The best thing you can do to fend off the unpredictable spread of the virus is by focusing on boosting your family’s immunity and health. 

Your family’s diet and eating habits are two things that can be altered right now to strengthen the immune system. Encourage your family to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, stay hydrated, take vitamins and supplements, get some sunlight, and exercise regularly. 

Regulate Screen Time 

The daily news updates about COVID-19 can be quite overwhelming and may trigger anxiety and fear. Although it is necessary to stay updated, regulating screen time and allotting time off TV news or social media is good for everyone’s mental health. This is also to help one focus on accomplishing daily tasks and responsibilities despite the turbulence, which can really take a toll on one’s productivity. 

As for kids and teenagers who may be using gadgets all day because they are just stuck at home, it is best to set boundaries and encourage them to do other activities. Discipline with screen time for every member is good for everyone physically, emotionally, and socially.

Exercise Together 

Exercising together is a simple way to bond as a family while helping each other stay fit and healthy. Doing exercise with the family is also great motivation, especially for people who do not really like exercising. This keeps your endorphins high and increases blood circulation in your brain, reducing stress and keeping your body healthy. 

Find fun and creative ways to move and break a sweat. Follow home workout videos, play backyard games and sports, ride the bike, or walk together.

Manage Conflicts Positively 

We are all facing a time of distress, and the last thing you would want is additional stress from mishandled conflicts. During this time, disagreements may typically arise because of all the overwhelming circumstances.

It is important to remember to deal with frictions as positively as possible without letting your emotions get the best of you. Respond calmly and acknowledge your feelings. Instead of reacting negatively and impulsively, take time to sort out the problem, and encourage a healthy dialogue between family members. 

Set Up Virtual Gatherings

With the help of technology and social media, staying connected with relatives and friends despite the physical distance is possible. Many might be experiencing cabin fever, so interacting virtually with people outside the home may give a sense of normalcy and connection. 

In the virtual world, it is possible to throw birthday parties, celebrate graduations and other milestones, host playdates, do simple catch-ups, and even do activities such as exercising, cooking, and playing games. Despite the need for social distancing, we must find ways to cultivate our social lives to draw comfort and a deep sense of connection.

Schedule Family Bonding Activities  

Despite everyone being busy adjusting to their new work or school home set-up and schedule, it is essential to bond as a family. Although family bonding is usually done outside of the home, there are many ways to make family bonding time at home fun and meaningful still. Here are some ideas: 

  • Host a family cook-off 
  • Revive old puzzles and board games  
  • Schedule movie nights  
  • Watch home videos 
  • Look back at old pictures 
  • Listen to throwback music 
  • Do DIY projects together 

Take Care Of Your Well-Being 

Taking care of your well-being is just as important as looking out for your family’s health and wellness. Despite being around your whole family almost 24/7, it is essential to set aside time to rest and reset your mind and body. This is a way to help manage emotions and regulate stress. You can help other people better if you also take care of yourself. 

Final Thoughts 

According to Dr. Nel Wieman, MD, “It will be very helpful if people can stay calm, keep themselves informed, and feel in control of the measures that they can take to protect themselves and their families.” The pandemic can undoubtedly affect one’s health and wellness. Still, there are many ways to strengthen family bonds and come out stronger after this challenging time.

Life after COVID-19 may, however, look uncertain at this point. So it is vital to look out for your family and find ways to create a sense of normalcy at home while adjusting to the new normal. 

 …

Treating Your Cheating Husband Like A Coronavirus

The day you learn that your husband has been cheating on you with another woman all this time is perhaps the worst day you will ever go through. After all, you have promised to each other that you will be together until death befalls either of you. But due to your man’s infidelity, you may be unable to decide if you will speed things up for him or give him another chance to change.

Either way, it seems fitting to compare a cheater to the coronavirus, which has been plaguing the entire world. They are both seen as a menace, and what they have done to innocent people like you cannot be forgiven quickly. 

In case your pain is blurring the correct path that you should take, you should try the following tips that used to only apply to the coronavirus:

Isolate Yourself From Him

The coronavirus has pushed almost every world leader to place a lot of countries under lockdown. No one is supposed to cross the borders; even if you are a citizen trying to come home, you need to wait until the orders ease up. Any person who has or is suspected of having COVID-19 also need to isolate themselves for a minimum of 14 days to avoid spreading the disease.

Now, if you treat your cheating husband like a coronavirus, it entails that you must stay away from him as best as you can. Avoid letting him in if he knocks on your door; try not to answer their calls and texts. It will also be great if you stop talking to your mutual friends who may try to coax you to forgive and forget the infidelity. This way, you can contemplate your next move without getting agitated by other people.

Look For A Way To Get Rid Of Him For Good

Assuming you have had enough of your spouse’s cheating habits, congratulations are in order. You are the wife; you should never need to share your husband with anyone. If he suggests otherwise, then you have every right to remove him from your life for good.

Feeling confused about what your first step should be is understandable. Still, think about why the scientists are looking for a vaccine that will immunize everyone against the coronavirus. When you get a shot of it, the disease will no longer affect you. And what a vaccine does for coronavirus is what an adultery case or divorce does for a cheater. 

Learn How To Take Care Of Yourself 

If the coronavirus can talk, it must be spewing expletives towards healthy people. After all, it is easier for any virus to stick to unhealthy folks than the latter. Even when the coronavirus manages to get past the body’s first line of defense, the patients eventually recover and don’t suffer from too many symptoms.

Given that your cheating husband is no better than the coronavirus, seeing you doing well without them will wallop him. That is especially true for some guys who think that you have no choice but to forgive whatever they do since you can’t survive by yourself. In reality, you can build up your career, try online counseling (e.g., BetterHelp), and become financially independent. And when you start taking care of your body and mind, your spouse may regret fooling around behind your back and try to kneel at your feet.

Final Thoughts

The main question is: Will you still forgive and accept a man who has cheated on you? 

The decision is and will always be up to you. However, please do not think that taking back your cheating husband is your only option. Like a coronavirus, his cheating habits can surface anytime, considering that he has already had a taste for it.

Be wise and keep your heart, mind, and body safe. Good luck!

How The Lockdown Saved My Marriage

My marriage has been on the rocks since the past year. There was no third party involved; neither my wife nor I had troubling behaviors or addictions. Our primary problem was that our work schedules had not been matching up, and we seldom saw each other at home.

You see, I run a restaurant downtown from 6 P.M. up to 2 A.M. My wife, on the other hand, is a marketing executive whose job requires her to work overtime often. Sometimes, she would come to the restaurant to say hi to me. Other times, I would stay at home until she’s back. But we both got too busy at the same time, and no one seemed to want to give up career opportunities in favor of the marriage.

Fast forward to 2020, my news about the coronavirus outbreak reached our radar. Our city—New York—turned out to have the highest number of infected individuals. I had to close my restaurant when the governor issued a lockdown. My wife’s office had to shut down, too. All of a sudden, we found ourselves at home together after a long time.
And it felt incredible. Without a doubt, the lockdown has saved my marriage. Here’s how.

We Have Endless Hours To Talk

The primary issue that we had had as a couple is the fact that we cannot sit down and hash things out. When I have time to talk, my wife is either busy or fast asleep. I am mostly in a similar state when she is ready for a conversation. The result is that we end up chatting about who will go out to pay the bills and get groceries.

The lockdown, however, has given us plenty of time to talk. I remember us having dinner, and I open the conversation with a simple “How are you?”. It has opened the floodgate of emotions for us, and we talk nonstop nowadays.

We Can Do Everything Together

Before the quarantine, it has felt like we are doing things like a tag team. When one is out, the other has to do the chores. It is a give-and-take situation, but our routine has become no different from that of regular roommates.

Ever since the lockdown has been issued, we do everything as a team. The other day, we cleaned the house together. When we did the laundry, my wife was in charge of the first rotation while I did the second one. Yesterday, we went grocery shopping. Not only did it make such activities fun and almost effortless, but it improved our dynamics as a married couple.

Our Sexual Relationship Has Been Rekindled

As troubling as it may sound, my wife and I have not had sex ever since we became swamped with work. We still slept in the same bed every night, but I would pass out instantly when my back hits the mattress. Meanwhile, my wife had to get ready for work early, and she would be gone every time I woke up.

This lack of sexual relationship only stopped when we got quarantined together. After fixing our communication issues, it was as if we were at the honeymoon stage again.

Final Thoughts

I am fully aware as to why the lockdown is hard for many people. It has negatively affected my business, too, and I hope that it will end soon. However, I cannot deny that it is a blessing in disguise for my failing marriage. Now, even when the governor lifts the quarantine, I believe that my wife and I will be able to work around each other’s schedules better than ever.

Stay at home, guys!…

How Alcohol Addiction Can Ruin Your Marriage

The 2018 Michigan Celebrate Your Marriage Conferences have helped couples all around the state to strengthen their marriage and resolve arising conflicts. Let’s face it. Marriage can be hard because there are a lot of factors that can affect your relationship.

Alcohol addiction is one of the leading causes of divorce around the world. It can invade the lives of married couples, possibly causing arguments, making your spouse violent, and leading to abuse. When you marry someone, you develop a life-long bond with them, but what can happen if your relationship is tested by alcohol addiction?

It Will Be Harder To Trust Each Other

When a married couple drinks alcohol excessively, it can lead to frequent lying. One or both spouses make up excuses to hide their habits and avoid confrontation. It often doesn’t stop at one lie, which can cause suspicions and make it hard to continue trusting your partner. If left unresolved, alcohol can lead to a marriage full of deceit. 

Alcohol Hinders Open Communication

Communication plays a vital role in marriage. Alcohol abuse can take a massive toll on a couple’s dynamic because it affects how you interact. When you refuse to communicate and hear what your spouse has to say, conflicts and misunderstandings may arise. 

In severe cases, communicating can be tense, violent, and even non-existent once alcohol addiction has ruined your relationship.

Adverse Effect On Emotional And Sexual Intimacy

Alcohol addiction can also have adverse effects on your intimacy and care for one another. Remember, a healthy sexual relationship is also a factor in keeping your marriage secure. 

Heavy drinkers are prone to struggle in this area, as alcohol can affect one’s ability to perform. Alcohol is a depressant, and excessive drinking can decrease sexual activity. It can also change the desire and motivation if your spouse has uncontrollable drinking habits.

Alcohol addiction is a serious matter. You have the power to stop this from happening. If you’re experiencing this, you can always talk to somebody and reach out to specialists to save your marriage.

Keeping Your Relationship Healthy And Happy

“Scorekeeping is a useful way to determine winners and losers between opposing teams, but in relationships, both partners should be on the same team.” — Emily Cook, PhD, LCMFT

Healthy, happy relationships are what everyone strives for, but it’s not necessarily always an option. The truth is, some marriages start out amazing and start to struggle a little over time. What that means is it’s time for you and your partner to start looking at what’s going on in your relationship and start making some changes. If you’re already happy and healthy, keeping it that way is a result of working at your marriage and continuing to strive for even better and even more as you go along. You’ll be surprised how great your relationship is.

Talk About the Good

When your partner does something nice for you that you really appreciate or really like, let them know. Don’t just let them flounder wondering if it was good that they did it or bad or indifferent. Remember to thank them and tell them how you felt about it. It’s always good to acknowledge their extra effort especially if your partner does something for you that you know they worked hard on. Even if you didn’t necessarily need them to do it or care if they did, acknowledging the help or the action is going to make them feel more validated and that makes them happier in the relationship.

“It’s not always easy to identify feelings about a situation, but “I” statements can create a foundation for healthier conversation.” — Deanna Richards, LMHC

Talk About the Bad

When your partner does something that you don’t like or there’s something you’d like them to change you need to let them know. Don’t just assume that it’s going to change on its own and don’t just assume that you can live with it. If you let them know they may be able to make some changes that will make you happier. Make sure that you are willing to make some changes for them as well. You don’t want them to be the only one making changes to the relationship. You want them to be happy too and if they feel they’re doing all the changing (or if you do) then no one is going to be happy.

Talk About the Neutral

Make sure you’re telling your partner about the neutral things that happen throughout the day as well. You should want to talk to them about your day and hear about their day. You should talk to them about the minor unimportant things and the big, important ones. Just general conversation is going to keep your relationship healthy and it’s going to make sure that both of you continue to work towards the success of the relationship as well.

“Show your own hand first. Share your vulnerability.” — Bonnie Ray Kennan, PsyD, MFT

Keep Up the Intimacy

It’s not just about having sex, though sex is an important part of your relationship. You also want to make sure that you are just spending time together. Cuddling together or holding hands or just casual touches throughout the day actually help you feel better in your individual life and they improve your relationship as a couple. Make sure you’re continuing to extend the intimacy whenever you can and definitely work on it if it’s not a big part of your life.

 

The best thing that you can do is keep doing what you’re doing right now because that’s how you’re going to continue improving your relationship and making it work even better for you. There’s no reason for you and your partner to start failing in your relationship now when you’re already doing so well. Whenever you have a problem, make sure you’re talking about it and whenever you have something good to say, talk about it too. Keeping open lines of communication is the most important thing in keeping any relationship healthy and happy.

Assuming there is still trouble in paradise, you may seek advice from BetterHelp psychologists. They will help you go through your worries without needing to drive to the therapist’s office.