Promoting Family Mental Health During The Pandemic

Promoting Family Mental Health During The Pandemic

At this time of the pandemic, it is vital to remain as healthy as possible. Staying healthy as a family is rewarding because you can avoid unnecessary vulnerability to diseases and unexpected medical expenses. While maintaining physical health is necessary, having a good state of mind with the family is essential to a holistic approach to overall health. Promoting mental health is also one way to cope up with the psychological stress of the pandemic. 

Parents, the primary decision-makers in the family, play a crucial role during the pandemic. Their parental parts have now become more taxing because of the new work arrangements and tight health protocols in essential establishments such as the grocery and the bank.

Exploring Mental Health

Learning about mental health with the family is a fulfilling experience. The family can get to know more about each other by exploring the member’s mental health. Knowing more about the mental state can help in understanding the psychological needs of the family. Behaviors and intentions become more transparent and better understood when acknowledged by the family.

Information about mental health is free on most websites. Be sure to check the credibility and reputability of the source for factual knowledge. If you want a detailed discussion about mental health, you can also set an appointment with a psychologist or a psychiatrist. 

Ways To Cope With Stress

The pandemic is causing stress and is dramatically impacting the psychological well-being of most people. Because of COVID-19, numerous people lost their jobs, businesses closed down, and even the children are feeling stressed. It is a challenging time for everyone. This unforeseen circumstance led to unexpected changes that everyone has to adapt to. In times like this, it is essential to find ways to cope that works best for you.

Children should have activities to stimulate their thinking and their bodies. They may feel bored and anxious because they may not fully understand what is going on, so explain it to them well. If possible, try to minimize screen time to facilitate more physical activities. Encourage your children to try different activities they may enjoy, such as arts, crafts, reading, exercising, and gardening. Child mental health needs critical focus because they, too, can feel the effects of the pandemic.

Parents also need to have a way of coping. Find time to do things that relax your mind, such as spending quality time with the family, cooking, working out and other hobbies that you might have put off. You can also try doing things together with your family to be productive and show support to each other. 

Prevent Unhealthy Habits

During the pandemic, people need to stay at home most of the time. You could find new hobbies and pastimes to keep you feeling productive and active. However, it is crucial to make sure that these new activities are healthy. Beware that some hobbies that could be detrimental to you and your family and can further add stress and psychological strain.

For children, it is necessary to control their time on gadgets and other digital media. It is essential to instill discipline in children to prevent the disruption from their responsibilities. The screen time should be limited to allow the children to do their chores and daily tasks. Setting boundaries and scheduling help them know the value of time. These can also prevent overexposure to activities that could lead to addiction.

Meanwhile, adults are prone to addiction and vices. Some people may develop detrimental habits during the pandemic as a way to cope with the situation. To prevent this from happening, couples should support each other to keep their partners from bad habits. Help your partner get distracted by exploring new activities together as a replacement to the vices. Never hesitate to seek professional help if you and your partner feel helpless.

Supporting Each Other’s Problems

The pandemic has caused many difficulties and threats to humanity. From battling the disease’s complications to facing the economic crises, almost everyone is at their limits. To survive this pandemic, it is critical to stay resilient and adaptive. As a family, you need to support each other because a robust support system can do wonders for the family members.

Whether you have a family member who is sick or someone who lost a job, be sure to support them in the best way possible.

Having a family member with health complications is one of the last things you want to happen in your family. It is debilitating to the function of family members and causes severe emotional and mental stress. But by being there for each other, it can help release the psychological stress and ease the emotional burden. You can also look for support from your relatives and social groups. 

With or without the pandemic, it is not easy to accept losing a job. This circumstance typically results in the questioning of self-worth and value. At the same time, it threatens the economic security of the family. If you have a family member going through this challenging situation, be sure to be there to reassure them of their value and that there is still hope for them.

Having good mental health with your family will be a daunting but fulfilling task. You get to know each other’s behaviors and learn more about their emotional needs. Explore different ways to cope with the effects of the pandemic together with the family. Support one another with the struggles and problems by showing appreciation and value to each other. 

Always have hope and faith in your family that you can make it through this pandemic. No matter how hard life will be, having a supportive family ensures that you will find a calm center in your life.

Healthy Family, Healthy Marriage: How To Nurture Your Family’s Health And Wellness During The Pandemic

Today, we are faced with many stressful situations and unfamiliar circumstances brought by the COVID-19 pandemic. We are called to navigate through a new normal and change the way we spend our days mostly just stuck at home. This can be a tough time for families and marriages, and it could trigger anxiety and fear for anyone, both young and old. 

It is essential to look out for your family’s health and wellness during this time. The “new normal” can leave anyone feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. So we must find ways to stay stable and positive despite all the uncertainties. Here are practical ways to nurture your family’s health and wellness during the pandemic. 

Establish A Healthy Routine At Home 

A healthy routine at home is essential because it gives a sense of order amidst all the changes and adjustments that can be quite overwhelming and stressful. This way, there is somehow a continuous flow of events or activities that are predictable despite all the uncertainties the pandemic has brought about. 

For young children, routines are established for them to know what to expect in their day and eventually find rhythm and independence. During these uncertain times, this could apply to people of all ages because everyone is called to navigate through a new normal, which has changed the way we spend our days. 

Strengthen The Immune System 

A healthy immune system is needed now more than ever as we all go through this pandemic. This is our number one shield from contracting the coronavirus. The best thing you can do to fend off the unpredictable spread of the virus is by focusing on boosting your family’s immunity and health. 

Your family’s diet and eating habits are two things that can be altered right now to strengthen the immune system. Encourage your family to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, stay hydrated, take vitamins and supplements, get some sunlight, and exercise regularly. 

Regulate Screen Time 

The daily news updates about COVID-19 can be quite overwhelming and may trigger anxiety and fear. Although it is necessary to stay updated, regulating screen time and allotting time off TV news or social media is good for everyone’s mental health. This is also to help one focus on accomplishing daily tasks and responsibilities despite the turbulence, which can really take a toll on one’s productivity. 

As for kids and teenagers who may be using gadgets all day because they are just stuck at home, it is best to set boundaries and encourage them to do other activities. Discipline with screen time for every member is good for everyone physically, emotionally, and socially.

Exercise Together 

Exercising together is a simple way to bond as a family while helping each other stay fit and healthy. Doing exercise with the family is also great motivation, especially for people who do not really like exercising. This keeps your endorphins high and increases blood circulation in your brain, reducing stress and keeping your body healthy. 

Find fun and creative ways to move and break a sweat. Follow home workout videos, play backyard games and sports, ride the bike, or walk together.

Manage Conflicts Positively 

We are all facing a time of distress, and the last thing you would want is additional stress from mishandled conflicts. During this time, disagreements may typically arise because of all the overwhelming circumstances.

It is important to remember to deal with frictions as positively as possible without letting your emotions get the best of you. Respond calmly and acknowledge your feelings. Instead of reacting negatively and impulsively, take time to sort out the problem, and encourage a healthy dialogue between family members. 

Set Up Virtual Gatherings

With the help of technology and social media, staying connected with relatives and friends despite the physical distance is possible. Many might be experiencing cabin fever, so interacting virtually with people outside the home may give a sense of normalcy and connection. 

In the virtual world, it is possible to throw birthday parties, celebrate graduations and other milestones, host playdates, do simple catch-ups, and even do activities such as exercising, cooking, and playing games. Despite the need for social distancing, we must find ways to cultivate our social lives to draw comfort and a deep sense of connection.

Schedule Family Bonding Activities  

Despite everyone being busy adjusting to their new work or school home set-up and schedule, it is essential to bond as a family. Although family bonding is usually done outside of the home, there are many ways to make family bonding time at home fun and meaningful still. Here are some ideas: 

  • Host a family cook-off 
  • Revive old puzzles and board games  
  • Schedule movie nights  
  • Watch home videos 
  • Look back at old pictures 
  • Listen to throwback music 
  • Do DIY projects together 

Take Care Of Your Well-Being 

Taking care of your well-being is just as important as looking out for your family’s health and wellness. Despite being around your whole family almost 24/7, it is essential to set aside time to rest and reset your mind and body. This is a way to help manage emotions and regulate stress. You can help other people better if you also take care of yourself. 

Final Thoughts 

According to Dr. Nel Wieman, MD, “It will be very helpful if people can stay calm, keep themselves informed, and feel in control of the measures that they can take to protect themselves and their families.” The pandemic can undoubtedly affect one’s health and wellness. Still, there are many ways to strengthen family bonds and come out stronger after this challenging time.

Life after COVID-19 may, however, look uncertain at this point. So it is vital to look out for your family and find ways to create a sense of normalcy at home while adjusting to the new normal. 

 …

Treating Your Cheating Husband Like A Coronavirus

The day you learn that your husband has been cheating on you with another woman all this time is perhaps the worst day you will ever go through. After all, you have promised to each other that you will be together until death befalls either of you. But due to your man’s infidelity, you may be unable to decide if you will speed things up for him or give him another chance to change.

Either way, it seems fitting to compare a cheater to the coronavirus, which has been plaguing the entire world. They are both seen as a menace, and what they have done to innocent people like you cannot be forgiven quickly. 

In case your pain is blurring the correct path that you should take, you should try the following tips that used to only apply to the coronavirus:

Isolate Yourself From Him

The coronavirus has pushed almost every world leader to place a lot of countries under lockdown. No one is supposed to cross the borders; even if you are a citizen trying to come home, you need to wait until the orders ease up. Any person who has or is suspected of having COVID-19 also need to isolate themselves for a minimum of 14 days to avoid spreading the disease.

Now, if you treat your cheating husband like a coronavirus, it entails that you must stay away from him as best as you can. Avoid letting him in if he knocks on your door; try not to answer their calls and texts. It will also be great if you stop talking to your mutual friends who may try to coax you to forgive and forget the infidelity. This way, you can contemplate your next move without getting agitated by other people.

Look For A Way To Get Rid Of Him For Good

Assuming you have had enough of your spouse’s cheating habits, congratulations are in order. You are the wife; you should never need to share your husband with anyone. If he suggests otherwise, then you have every right to remove him from your life for good.

Feeling confused about what your first step should be is understandable. Still, think about why the scientists are looking for a vaccine that will immunize everyone against the coronavirus. When you get a shot of it, the disease will no longer affect you. And what a vaccine does for coronavirus is what an adultery case or divorce does for a cheater. 

Learn How To Take Care Of Yourself 

If the coronavirus can talk, it must be spewing expletives towards healthy people. After all, it is easier for any virus to stick to unhealthy folks than the latter. Even when the coronavirus manages to get past the body’s first line of defense, the patients eventually recover and don’t suffer from too many symptoms.

Given that your cheating husband is no better than the coronavirus, seeing you doing well without them will wallop him. That is especially true for some guys who think that you have no choice but to forgive whatever they do since you can’t survive by yourself. In reality, you can build up your career, try online counseling (e.g., BetterHelp), and become financially independent. And when you start taking care of your body and mind, your spouse may regret fooling around behind your back and try to kneel at your feet.

Final Thoughts

The main question is: Will you still forgive and accept a man who has cheated on you? 

The decision is and will always be up to you. However, please do not think that taking back your cheating husband is your only option. Like a coronavirus, his cheating habits can surface anytime, considering that he has already had a taste for it.

Be wise and keep your heart, mind, and body safe. Good luck!

How The Lockdown Saved My Marriage

My marriage has been on the rocks since the past year. There was no third party involved; neither my wife nor I had troubling behaviors or addictions. Our primary problem was that our work schedules had not been matching up, and we seldom saw each other at home.

You see, I run a restaurant downtown from 6 P.M. up to 2 A.M. My wife, on the other hand, is a marketing executive whose job requires her to work overtime often. Sometimes, she would come to the restaurant to say hi to me. Other times, I would stay at home until she’s back. But we both got too busy at the same time, and no one seemed to want to give up career opportunities in favor of the marriage.

Fast forward to 2020, my news about the coronavirus outbreak reached our radar. Our city—New York—turned out to have the highest number of infected individuals. I had to close my restaurant when the governor issued a lockdown. My wife’s office had to shut down, too. All of a sudden, we found ourselves at home together after a long time.
And it felt incredible. Without a doubt, the lockdown has saved my marriage. Here’s how.

We Have Endless Hours To Talk

The primary issue that we had had as a couple is the fact that we cannot sit down and hash things out. When I have time to talk, my wife is either busy or fast asleep. I am mostly in a similar state when she is ready for a conversation. The result is that we end up chatting about who will go out to pay the bills and get groceries.

The lockdown, however, has given us plenty of time to talk. I remember us having dinner, and I open the conversation with a simple “How are you?”. It has opened the floodgate of emotions for us, and we talk nonstop nowadays.

We Can Do Everything Together

Before the quarantine, it has felt like we are doing things like a tag team. When one is out, the other has to do the chores. It is a give-and-take situation, but our routine has become no different from that of regular roommates.

Ever since the lockdown has been issued, we do everything as a team. The other day, we cleaned the house together. When we did the laundry, my wife was in charge of the first rotation while I did the second one. Yesterday, we went grocery shopping. Not only did it make such activities fun and almost effortless, but it improved our dynamics as a married couple.

Our Sexual Relationship Has Been Rekindled

As troubling as it may sound, my wife and I have not had sex ever since we became swamped with work. We still slept in the same bed every night, but I would pass out instantly when my back hits the mattress. Meanwhile, my wife had to get ready for work early, and she would be gone every time I woke up.

This lack of sexual relationship only stopped when we got quarantined together. After fixing our communication issues, it was as if we were at the honeymoon stage again.

Final Thoughts

I am fully aware as to why the lockdown is hard for many people. It has negatively affected my business, too, and I hope that it will end soon. However, I cannot deny that it is a blessing in disguise for my failing marriage. Now, even when the governor lifts the quarantine, I believe that my wife and I will be able to work around each other’s schedules better than ever.

Stay at home, guys!…

How Alcohol Addiction Can Ruin Your Marriage

The 2018 Michigan Celebrate Your Marriage Conferences have helped couples all around the state to strengthen their marriage and resolve arising conflicts. Let’s face it. Marriage can be hard because there are a lot of factors that can affect your relationship.

Alcohol addiction is one of the leading causes of divorce around the world. It can invade the lives of married couples, possibly causing arguments, making your spouse violent, and leading to abuse. When you marry someone, you develop a life-long bond with them, but what can happen if your relationship is tested by alcohol addiction?

It Will Be Harder To Trust Each Other

When a married couple drinks alcohol excessively, it can lead to frequent lying. One or both spouses make up excuses to hide their habits and avoid confrontation. It often doesn’t stop at one lie, which can cause suspicions and make it hard to continue trusting your partner. If left unresolved, alcohol can lead to a marriage full of deceit. 

Alcohol Hinders Open Communication

Communication plays a vital role in marriage. Alcohol abuse can take a massive toll on a couple’s dynamic because it affects how you interact. When you refuse to communicate and hear what your spouse has to say, conflicts and misunderstandings may arise. 

In severe cases, communicating can be tense, violent, and even non-existent once alcohol addiction has ruined your relationship.

Adverse Effect On Emotional And Sexual Intimacy

Alcohol addiction can also have adverse effects on your intimacy and care for one another. Remember, a healthy sexual relationship is also a factor in keeping your marriage secure. 

Heavy drinkers are prone to struggle in this area, as alcohol can affect one’s ability to perform. Alcohol is a depressant, and excessive drinking can decrease sexual activity. It can also change the desire and motivation if your spouse has uncontrollable drinking habits.

Alcohol addiction is a serious matter. You have the power to stop this from happening. If you’re experiencing this, you can always talk to somebody and reach out to specialists to save your marriage.

Keeping Your Relationship Healthy And Happy

“Scorekeeping is a useful way to determine winners and losers between opposing teams, but in relationships, both partners should be on the same team.” — Emily Cook, PhD, LCMFT

Healthy, happy relationships are what everyone strives for, but it’s not necessarily always an option. The truth is, some marriages start out amazing and start to struggle a little over time. What that means is it’s time for you and your partner to start looking at what’s going on in your relationship and start making some changes. If you’re already happy and healthy, keeping it that way is a result of working at your marriage and continuing to strive for even better and even more as you go along. You’ll be surprised how great your relationship is.

Talk About the Good

When your partner does something nice for you that you really appreciate or really like, let them know. Don’t just let them flounder wondering if it was good that they did it or bad or indifferent. Remember to thank them and tell them how you felt about it. It’s always good to acknowledge their extra effort especially if your partner does something for you that you know they worked hard on. Even if you didn’t necessarily need them to do it or care if they did, acknowledging the help or the action is going to make them feel more validated and that makes them happier in the relationship.

“It’s not always easy to identify feelings about a situation, but “I” statements can create a foundation for healthier conversation.” — Deanna Richards, LMHC

Talk About the Bad

When your partner does something that you don’t like or there’s something you’d like them to change you need to let them know. Don’t just assume that it’s going to change on its own and don’t just assume that you can live with it. If you let them know they may be able to make some changes that will make you happier. Make sure that you are willing to make some changes for them as well. You don’t want them to be the only one making changes to the relationship. You want them to be happy too and if they feel they’re doing all the changing (or if you do) then no one is going to be happy.

Talk About the Neutral

Make sure you’re telling your partner about the neutral things that happen throughout the day as well. You should want to talk to them about your day and hear about their day. You should talk to them about the minor unimportant things and the big, important ones. Just general conversation is going to keep your relationship healthy and it’s going to make sure that both of you continue to work towards the success of the relationship as well.

“Show your own hand first. Share your vulnerability.” — Bonnie Ray Kennan, PsyD, MFT

Keep Up the Intimacy

It’s not just about having sex, though sex is an important part of your relationship. You also want to make sure that you are just spending time together. Cuddling together or holding hands or just casual touches throughout the day actually help you feel better in your individual life and they improve your relationship as a couple. Make sure you’re continuing to extend the intimacy whenever you can and definitely work on it if it’s not a big part of your life.

 

The best thing that you can do is keep doing what you’re doing right now because that’s how you’re going to continue improving your relationship and making it work even better for you. There’s no reason for you and your partner to start failing in your relationship now when you’re already doing so well. Whenever you have a problem, make sure you’re talking about it and whenever you have something good to say, talk about it too. Keeping open lines of communication is the most important thing in keeping any relationship healthy and happy.

Assuming there is still trouble in paradise, you may seek advice from BetterHelp psychologists. They will help you go through your worries without needing to drive to the therapist’s office.

Why Working On Your Marriage Is Important (Even When It’s Going Well)

Your marriage may seem great and maybe it is great. Maybe you have discovered ways to work through all your problems or to work as a team in every way possible. Maybe things are wonderful. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore things that are happening in your marriage. As John Amodeo Ph.D.,  MFT said, “Sadly, there is often a gap between the love we feel in our heart and the emotional intimacy we experience with someone.”

What kind of problems are you having even if you are able to work them out together? What things kind of annoy you about your partner but you just ignore them or let it go? Those are the things you need to think about.

The Little Things

There is no doubt there are going to be some things about your partner that you aren’t 100% in love with. They may have some little habits that annoy you but you don’t say anything because ‘I can just live with it’. Well, those things are going to continue to annoy you over time and if you’re not careful, they can become the catalyst for something else entirely. There are always going to be things about your partner that aren’t your favorite thing. Talking to them about these things and why they bug you is a great way to build on your relationship before those little things start taking you down from the inside.

The Problems

Think about the problems that you do have. When you fight, what happens? Why are you arguing? Even if you find ways to work it out, are you arguing about the same things every time? If you are then it’s something that you should be working on together before your next fight. Why continue to argue about it when you could work out a solution so that it doesn’t happen again? You’ll definitely feel better about the situation that way and it works better for the future. In the words of Catherine Aponte PsyD, “Communication in a personal relationship is about a husband and a wife collaborating with each other by sharing perceptions, feeling, ideas, and thoughts so that they can come to an understanding of what is happening between them—what their joint reality is.”

 

Talk to Each Other

Sit down and talk about the things that you would like your partner to do for you. Maybe you don’t want to do the dishes all the time and you’d appreciate if they did. Maybe you don’t want to be solely responsible for taking care of the car and would like them to do it sometimes. Letting the other person know what you want from them is a great way to make sure you’re going to get it. After all, they can’t fix what they don’t know is wrong.

Think about the last time your partner did something that made you feel really special or made you really happy. Let them know that you appreciated it or really enjoyed it. This will definitely make them more likely to do the same thing again in the future because they know you like it and they know you appreciated it.  Your partner wants to make you happy just like you want to make them happy, so don’t be afraid to keep talking about the good and the bad things in your relationship.

 

Working on your relationship when things are good is actually great. It’s going to help you feel happier in your relationship for a long time to come, and that’s what you’re really looking for. You want to be happy with your partner all the time, and while that may not always be possible, it is possible for you to cut down on the arguments. A relationship that is already damaged or where the couple is already struggling is a lot harder to fix than one where the relationship is healthy and all you’re doing is continuing to improve. Don’t let anything get in the way of a good relationship for you and your partner.

“In every intimate relationship, empathy is the key to relationship success.” — April Eldemire LMFT

When Your Husband Doesn’t Want To Have Sex, Ask A Psychiatrist On What To Do

 

 

“Don’t underestimate the impact of your physical situation.” — Stan Tatkin Psy.D.

When we were still dating, my boyfriend and now husband of 12 years, were like rabbits. Sex here, sex there, and sex everywhere. No corner in my apartment or his condo was left unblessed by our act of “love,” and he was such a God in the bed, table, chair, floor, and balcony… ok, I’ll stop there. What I want to stress out is that twelve years ago, our physical intimacy was off the roof.

 

Now, if you ask me about our sex life, it’s almost non-existent. We don’t have sex that much anymore and our last “encounter” was I think on my birthday. I became 38 about two months ago. It wasn’t even that good for he had a quickie and I was left wanting for more.

“In our 21st century culture, an intimate relationship that contains good sex is the stated ideal. Yet more than 10 percent of committed couples are having sex with each other only rarely, if at all, and yet consider themselves to be in a happy relationship.” — Isadora Alman MFT, CST

At first, I didn’t mind it. My husband was so pressured at work with his quota and all. I understood him at that time. One week became two and the weeks flew to a month. I would start with my sexy advances, and he’d say – “Oh, I would love to hun, but I’m so tired. Can we do it this weekend?” Of course, I’d say yes and then, the weekend came. Still, there was another reason and then another, and another. He shrugs it off and forgets about the whole thing. I mean, who would intentionally forget about sex?

 

I questioned myself. What is happening here? Is there something wrong? Am I not good enough for him? Does he not find me attractive anymore? Or maybe it’s because I’m too fat? I did gain about 15 pounds after my last delivery. He is not a fan of chubby women, I know that. What he wants is a slim and athletic woman who is not me right now. Or the worse, IS HE HAVING AN AFFAIR?

 

 

My husband doesn’t like confrontations, and in the few instances that I questioned him about something personal, it didn’t end well. I had no one to talk to about my problem, and it was making me anxious. The once happy and jolly me was also very depressed. Once I hit that “something is wrong with me” realization, I made a brilliant move for myself and my marriage. My gut told me to ring a psychiatrist for assistance and I’m so glad that I did it.

“The elusive intimacy we seek doesn’t congeal through the knee jerk reaction of criticizing and attacking our loved ones.” — John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT

She was able to talk me out of overthinking the whole situation, and on doubting myself. I hated all of that when it plagued my weak mind. It made me insecure, and my self-esteem was declining which was a lousy way of handling myself. My shrink told me that I am better than this and if I have a problem with my husband, maybe there are words to say to him that cannot offend, but still communicate how I genuinely feel.

 

I came to my husband on a weekend when he was relaxing on his big Papa Bear chair. My first move was asking him if we can talk. He closed Moby Dick and put down his glasses. He said that yes, he was free to speak with me. After that, I said that I love him very much and that our marriage means the world to me. I proceeded with “I want to tell you something which I hope will come to you as something constructive and repairable. Please don’t judge me and do tell me how you feel about it because I value your feelings.

 

And so, I told him that I have sexual needs which haven’t been met for months. After a brief explanation from me, my husband held my hand. He said: “I’m so sorry, hun. I promise that I will do better from now on and make an effort to make you feel that you are the most attractive woman in this universe for me.” He kissed me, and you know what happened next.

 

 

It wasn’t always perfect after that. There are days when my husband would take a step back from his promise, but he would work on the issue as soon as he realizes his shortcoming. He also wanted to do a couples counseling thing and that was a good sign for me. At least, he is trying his best.…

Married Life And Lies (Work On Yourself Through Online Counseling)

Is grass always greener on the other side? Do we believe that our relatives and friends have a better life? We always assume that a financially wealthy friend or relative has it all – money, career, family, and love. Are we that blind? Is it too shallow for us to equate a lot of dollars in one’s bank account as real-life joy? Well, it’s not always like that. Money can buy temporary happiness, but it’s not long-lasting.

Lies Cover Up Your Real Feelings

I met Sally and Dick when we moved to their neighborhood a few years back. They have three kids, all grown up, but they had a weird setup. All of their adult children live with them, and each had a spouse. I think it’s because of their culture and traditions – they’re Filipino, and from what I’ve heard, Filipinos are clannish, and the parents are often enablers. They think it’s their responsibility to support their 25-year-old son whose wife just gave birth.

“Typically, a one-time sexual encounter is not as devastating as repeated infidelities or a long-term affair.” — Robert Weiss Ph.D., MSW

It’s not for me to judge them, but yes, Sally and Dick are rich. They can afford to feed 15 people every day, but is this a life one must lead? Do they have to pay for everyone and everything in the household? I saw Sally cry her eyes out last year, and I overheard her talking with her sister on the phone. While she loved her children very much, she wishes for them to be independent and strive on their own. I also know for a fact that Dick is having an affair. Well, it’s not a “mistress,” and it’s a “master” since Dick is a closeted gay man.

They look happy on the outside, but they’re keeping secrets from each other. Dick is gay, and Sally didn’t want to take care of their grown-up kids. I mean, what else are they hiding? How can one be genuinely contented in a life enveloped with lies?

When Things Are Not What It Seems

Here are Kaye and Miller. They seem like the best couple ever for being married almost 25 years. From what Miller said, they started young and tied the knot at 19. The couple has six children, (oh, they’ve been busy), and their business is booming.

The house is perfect. No chair out of place and everything else is in order. What’s more, Miller would continuously post pics of Kaye and the kids on social media – saying how much he loves his wife and that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Who wouldn’t melt with that statement of “love,” right?

“Among couples today, cybersex and Internet infidelity are leading causes of divorce.” — Samantha Smithstein Psy.D.

I was so wrong. One day, while I was in their home waiting for Kaye, Miller pinned me on the wall. He thought my comments of “You look so happy!” or “I’m totally jealous!” on his social media posts meant that “I want him.” It’s so absurd. How can he love his wife when he preys on every woman that provides harmless comments on his Instagram, Facebook or Twitter? I’m pretty sure there are others, and Mike is a God in physical appearance. Some women may not be as principled as me. Oh, poor Kaye! And she always asks me if I saw Mike’s flavor of the month. Kaye knows!

Work On Yourself, Don’t Let Lies Ruin You As A Person

I find all of it disturbing. You can assume that another person’s life is so much better than yours just because they have money, nice cars, big houses, and expensive things. You’ll only realize the actual deal when you’re there. I think what I’m trying to say here is that there’s no perfect life. Money can’t afford you a beautiful marriage. It has to be you. You need to make an effort to make the grass greener on your side of the fence.

“Forgiveness may come eventually, but forgetting never does. The marriage is changed forever, innocence and dreams lost.” — Michele Weiner-Davis LCSW

If you forget the values, principles, and morals in life, then where will you be? Can you be a cheater forever? Will you be able to hide your sexuality ‘til the end? Do you believe that you can continuously push back your real feelings? You can’t. That’s why you have to be honest to yourself if you want to experience real happiness in life.

(Keeping everything bottled up can cause so much mental damage, and if you’re at that point right now, you may benefit from online counseling.)…