If your husband had spent ten years of his life living with you, that is more than enough to make you say that you know him well. You shared the same roof and the same bed. You know all the embarrassing secrets that he doesn’t usually divulge to others. Sure, he had people in his life before you, and they are a part of his past. People change with time, so with the decade you spent together, no one can tell you that they know your husband enough to correct or invalidate your thoughts.
Your husband has a family whom he shared about two decades of his life. His parents watched his every milestone, and her brother and sister had seen him struggle with adolescence. However, you are his wife, and you know the present him.
Reasons Why You Know Your Husband More Than Anyone:
You Know Your Husband More Than Your In-Laws
It is because they only know the young version of their son, and we all know that people grow up. Dreams and perspective change as we get old. We develop fears and behaviors we didn’t have when we were children.
You might hear your mother-in-law say, “I know him more than anyone. I am his mom.” This statement has truth to it. She was there when he knew nothing but happiness, and you as a parent would likely feel the same about your child. You think you know him well enough, but that’s because he is eight.
Yes, our parents know our foundation, but there are many evolving aspects that we acquire when we raise a family of our own. We experience different stressors than our parents. We meet different people and deal with various problems because the life we live in is in so many ways different from how life was 30 years ago.
You Know Your Husband More Than His Friends
Sometimes, the relationship of your husband with his friends may affect your marriage, especially when you feel that they are overstepping their boundaries. Your husband may confide or share things about you, but that doesn’t give them the right to have a say in the issue. Yes, they can give their opinion, but they should never meddle with your relationship.
To speak fairly, there are also some things we might not know about our husbands that his friends do. For instance, you may not pay attention to his favorite football player, and it is one of the things that he could excitingly share with his friends, especially when he knows that football doesn’t interest you. It’s just like with our girlfriends and us. They are the only ones we share our makeup brands with and absolutely not our husbands.
You Probably Know Your Husband More Than Himself.
However, this is a complicated thing as we tend to believe what we observe and feel. For instance, you might think he is not romantic because he doesn’t take you out on a date, buy you expensive stuff, or surprise you. However, do you really know what he thinks? What if he wants to, but he also thinks of you as someone who doesn’t want to go out because of social anxiety, you don’t want gifts because you feel it’s a waste of money and you are saving, or you hate surprises.
You know your husband as far as he expresses himself, but beyond that, you could only assume and base on past situations. Your thoughts about him depend upon what he shows you which could be confusing at times. However, don’t misunderstand confusion with not knowing him entirely.
Evidently, we know a person based on how much time we spent with him. However, they say that you don’t know someone until you see him under pressure. Who else sees your husband through all the stress and struggles? It’s definitely not his parents nor his friends.…
If your spouse has depression, it is highly likely that you are in for an emotional ride that will be very difficult to handle. You will feel helpless and you will also feel like breaking, but it is important to keep your cool while you work on yourself and your relationship. Remember, you married your spouse “for better or for worse”. You need to remember that.
Anyway, here are 10 ways that will help you in this challenging ride.…
When there are problems in your relationship people generally think of couples counseling. They think that they need to start working on their problems as a couple and try to work through things that way, but the truth is couples counseling isn’t always the answer. What you need to do is discover what type of problem you’re really dealing with and then you’ll be able to decide if it’s a ‘you’ problem (something that you want to improve within yourself) or a ‘relationship’ problem (something that needs to be improved between the two of you). Then you can better assess what type of online therapy will suit your situation best.…
Marriage is not a walk in a park. Both parties are required to exert efforts in keeping the love and passion alive. Every single day, each spouse needs to make individual decisions that are in line with the goal of strengthening the marital bond. There are days when the marriage could be full of problems and challenges. During these days, it is essential for both couples to fight for the relationship and to remember why they settled for marriage in the first place.
If you want to stay happy in love with your partner, then this article is perfect for you. We are going to list down the top five rules to follow to achieve a successful marriage. Let these guidelines help you become a better husband or wife to your other half:
RULE 1: Make time for each other.
While it is highly recommended to continuous work hard to improve your career, make sure that you do not forget how to spend quality time with your partner. Avoid making your loved one feel that you do not have enough time for him or her. Take advantage of rest days, holidays or weekends to bond with each other. Sometimes, all you need is to forget about work for a day or two, cuddle up in bend and savor the special moment.
RULE 2: Live in the present.
Do not bring up the past that can only hurt you and your spouse. When the other person commits a mistake, learn how to forgive and forget. Be mature about it and accept the fact that people can make mistakes sometimes. What matters is that both of you are willing to leave the past and embrace the future. Live in the present and seize every moment shared with your partner.
RULE 3: Be affectionate.
One of the common problems in marriage is the failure to express emotions and feelings. When this happens, there is a tendency that one of the spouses may feel neglected or abandoned by the other. Your goal is to ensure that your husband or wife do not think that way. Learn how to make the other person feel that you love him or her. Be affectionate all the time. Do not bottle up your feelings for you. Remember that expressing your love and care would mean a lot to your other half.
RULE 4: Communicate properly.
The key to a happy marriage is to communicate properly with each other. Try to have meaningful conversations at night. Ask your partner how his or her day went. Listen carefully to all the details and never interrupt. This is the best way to make the other person feel that you value them. Conversely, if you have an issue that you want to discuss with your husband or wife, then be sure to let him or her know about it.
RULE 5: Make decisions together.
This is where most married couples fail. Unfortunately, some husbands or wives make decisions without consulting their partners. This could hurt the marriage or relationship. As such, never make big life decisions without talking to your spouse about it. Consider first what the other person has to say and listen to some suggestions or alternatives. Take note that since the day you got married, you are no longer on your own. You have your entire family with you. Let your partner and the kids be part of the decision-making processes.…
No matter how perfect a relationship is, there will always come a time when so many things challenge it. Sometimes, even the little lies can cause a marriage to crumble down. As such, it is important for married couples to be honest with each other all the time. Both the husband and wife must learn how to communicate correctly. Whenever each spouse needs to say something, the other spouse must be willing to listen. At the same time, each partner must be understanding and patient when it comes to dealing with the issues of the marriage.
Indeed, there are so many things that can stir turmoil in a marriage. A single statement or remark may lead to the end of marriage. When combined with other factors, it can result in the divorce of the spouses. To avoid this from happening, make sure that you do not lie about these matters:
“I no longer love my partner.”
The worst thing that can happen in any marriage is when one spouse loses love for the other. This is truly heartbreaking, not only for the couple but also for the children involved. Therefore, before you utter these words, make sure that you know what you are talking about. Avoid telling your husband or wife that you do not love him or her anymore when in fact, you are not sure of your emotions.
Always keep in mind that loving someone is still a choice. During the difficult times in your marriage, start thinking of all the happy things that happened during the marital union. The good ones will always outweigh the bad ones. You have the choice to fight for the marriage and renew the marriage vow.
“I made a mistake in marrying the wrong person.”
The longer you stay in the marriage, the more you will see pass through a person. You may start to realize that the person you married years ago has changed a lot. Sometimes, you may even feel that you no longer know your husband or wife. Remember that there are so many ways to making things work for the better. As long you find it in your heart to try to work things out, then things will fall back to its right places. You can start by knowing the heart’s desires of your partner.
“My children will understand if we get a divorce.”
When a marriage ends up in divorce, the parties that will be affected include not only the spouses but also their children. This is the reason why it is significant for a couple to talk about things before making a decision. They have to consider not only their feelings but also the emotions of the kids. It can genuinely be heartbreaking for a happy marriage to end up in separation simply. Imagine how your son or daughter would feel about the break-up. A recent study shows that children who grow up in a broken family are more likely to become rebellious compared to those who have a complete family.…
We heard stories of couples experiencing challenging situations and even go to the extreme point of separating or divorcing all just because of the influence of social media. For real? Yes. This is actually happening today and this article will try to elaborate further on how social media can destroy marriage and will also look into the strategies to prevent it from happening.…
It’s no doubt that after having kids, it leaves both parents tired, drained and even frustrated, especially moms. It’s even worse when you have two kids or more. Kids do have a wear and tear effect on marriage. It can also be quite an adjustment for some people to transition from the liberating couplehood life to what they are accustomed to now having a family that needs you 24/7.
The key to having a successful marriage after kids is not to give up and to stick by your partner’s side while raising your kids. Parenting is a glorious experience when both mother and father play a role in it. Cherish your little ones while they’re young because they won’t stay kids forever.
Here’s some tips that can help you with having a happy marriage and raising your kids to the fullest at the same time:
Set Routines for Your Kids
Have a set bedtime, meal time, homework time etc. It is important to have your kids settled in a routine. They will become so used to it, and this will also help you and your partner. This will make your life a whole lot easier.
Must Read for Dads
Help your wives out wherever you can. Whether it’s some household chores, helping your child with homework or giving the baby a bath. Whatever you can help with, your wife will really appreciate it. It will relieve her and by doing this, she will also have more time for you.
Remember, taking care of the kids and looking after the household is worse than a full-time job and it’s difficult for her to cope, especially if she also works. You also have a role to play at home and the kids are yours, too, so help her out with it and take part in the duties of your household.
Plan a Date for Just You and Your Partner
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a little break away from your kids to have some husband and wife time. In fact, this will help you with strengthening your marriage and not to mention having some peace and quiet for a little while! Ask family members if they would take care of your kids for the day or hire a reliable nanny. Then plan a date with your partner, whatever you used to enjoy before you had kids. You can also make this a monthly or bi-weekly thing.
Plan Family Activities
This can be games that are played at home or you can go out for family fun activities. Considering fishing, camping or having a picnic at the park and playing with the kids. This will allow you and your family to bond. It will make your kids happy and your partner too.
Exchange Flirty and Sexy Emails or Messages During the Day
This will make you feel great about yourself and your partner will definitely look forward to coming home to you. It will also keep the spark alive in your marriage and will make you feel like a newlywed couple.
Be Patient with Each Other
Patience is another key to having a strong and healthy marriage. Overlook the small bad habits that your partner has. Remember nobody is perfect, not even you. Getting tired and sloppy is also humanly. So, be patient with your partner when this happens to them.
There’s no rule in the book that you must have sex every night without fail. In fact, having sex every night is probably impossible with kids and careers. By having sex even 2-3 times a week doesn’t mean your marriage is failing. Having sex twice a week is fine. When you and your partner stop having sex, then you should start worrying and working on your marriage.…
Around 50 years back, it was normal for the husband to have a career and provide for the family, whilst the women stayed back home and took care of the kids and the household duties. In today’s times, its normal for both husband and wife to have a flourishing career. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman being financially independent and successful. However, it has become a common issue with married couples who spend most of their time focusing on their careers, which leads to problems in the marriage.
Both husband and wife work long hours and spend little to no time with each other. This leads to frustration and some couples even end up getting a divorce. This is devastating! Finding a balance between career and marriage is possible. If you neglect your partner and even your family members due to your career, it’s inevitable that you will regret it later on life. So, before this happens, here’s some tips that you can help with finding the balance between marriage and your career:
Set Aside Time for Your Partner
Allocate some time for your partner. Set aside a day that suits both you and your partner. Plan your work schedule out accordingly and your work hours. Try and spend an entire day with your partner or family and try and make this a weekly routine.
Plan Some Fun Activities
After you’ve allocated the time for your partner; plan some fun activities for you and your partner to do. Something which you both enjoy. It can be shopping, going for a picnic, going out for dinner, or even sitting at home, watching movies and cooking together. Whatever, it is that you both enjoy doing together.
Set Your Work Goals
When setting your work goals and hours, be reasonable. Don’t overexert yourself. Set realistic goals. Ones which don’t leave you burned out or leave you with no family time and time for yourself.
Cut Your Living Costs
Try and cut out unnecessary expenses. Usually, the more expenses you have, the more both partners have to work to cover up these expenses. Wherever its possible, try and cut it out. Set a budget for your expenses and stick to it. Also, avoid getting yourself into debt, this will make your life, marriage and work life less stressful.
Respect Each Other’s Careers
Respect is most definitely the foundation for a healthy marriage. As a matter of fact, any relationship requires respect. Likewise, you and your partner need to respect one another’s careers. After all, it’s something that’s an important part of both your lives and more importantly, is what helps you pay the bills. By respecting each other’s careers, it will also strengthen your relationship.
Set Boundaries with Your Career
By this, I mean don’t take any phone calls from work while you are spending time with your partner and avoid discussing business during this time. It’s all right for you and partner to talk about how your day went and your successes in your career. However, it shouldn’t be the only thing that you discuss.
Plan A Vacation Together
Plan your work schedules and plan to take your leave at the same time. Try and take at least a week off from work and plan a nice vacation. Even better, if you could save up some money to go on a trip overseas. This will help you de-stress and also give you a break from work. Moreover, it’s time to work on your marriage and enjoy some quality time with your loved one and make memories that you both can cherish for the rest of your life.…
When we decide to commit, spend the rest of our lives and marry somebody, we envision a fire of romance without the glimpse of it fading away. As a husband or a wife, how do we keep on falling in love with the same person every day? How do we become the best “part” of being partners? Is it really possible to have the same gravity of falling in love from the first day you set eyes upon each other until you are old and gray? Here are some of the tips that stood the tests of time which can make it work as if every day is your honeymoon stage.…