You Can’t Save Your Spouse Who Don’t Want Saving – My Therapist Opened My Eyes

I am fully aware that this site is all about saving your marriage. Don’t get me wrong here. I am all for that. If there is a person in this world that would keep her marriage over and over and over again, well, that’s me. I have tried to save what is left of my abusive marriage, and after 20 years, I think I have done enough saving. People who are abusive to their spouses cannot be saved. That’s what my therapist told me. I cannot save him, and with that, I also cannot save our marriage.…

How To Prevent Your Husband From Ever Cheating On You

A cheating incident – or five – throughout the marriage is typically enough for an emotionally tired wife to turn to a psychologist and ask, “Why is this happening to me?”

From what we have heard, there are a few common reasons that can explain why there are a lot of married men who risk the fate of their family and start an illicit affair with someone else. One of them is that the guy may have been influenced by his friends to date another woman behind his wife’s back. Others start to cheat after a drinking incident that has led them to sleep with a female friend or stranger, and then they have somehow kept on doing it. In some cases, the man may be subconsciously addicted to sex; that’s why he cannot stop himself from jumping into someone else’s bed.

None of these reasons sound justifiable enough to forgive a cheater – that is true – especially if it has happened on more than one occasion. Nevertheless, considering you have never been in that situation – and you don’t ever want to be – here are some ideas that every wife should remember to prevent your husband from ever cheating on you.

1. Always Check If You Are Still On The Same Page

The first thing that you should be able to do is to confirm from time to time that your goals and beliefs in life are still similar to one another. If not, then you should at least know what has changed in theirs, and vice versa.

It matters to check such aspects regardless of how long you have been together because married couples tend to drift apart when they do not talk about their long-term objectives in front of each other. One may assume that the other has lost interest; that’s why the former might start looking for love elsewhere. If you don’t wish for that to occur, you should make a point of discussing everything that happens in your lives as often as possible.

2. Look After Yourself

As harsh as it may sound, your husband may lose his affection towards you if he notices that you no longer care for your appearance. For instance, you forget to shower your hair for days or sleep in a shirt that your kid has puked on in the morning. Or, after giving birth, you may have sworn off going to the gym to look after the children, but then you stop watching your diet too and end up being as heavy as a whale.

You may argue that love is blind and that you have promised to stick with one another forever, but the reality is quite different from that. Physical attraction is essential for any couple. In case you let go of yourself like that and presume that your spouse will always be faithful to you no matter how you look, you are practically giving him an excuse to find a more attractive woman. Thus, to avoid that, you should look after yourself all the time.

3. Make Your Husband Feel Special

A married friend came to our house one day because she did not know who else to turn to. Asking what the matter was, she said that her husband was having an affair with his coworker and planning to divorce her. The longer our conversation went on, though, the more I realized that the problem was her. She would act like a princess at home, order the guy to do all the chores, and stop him from even visiting his parents – everything that could suffocate any sane individual, practically speaking.

There’s no way to save that friend’s marriage, but you can prevent such an unfortunate situation by treating your spouse correctly. Instead of making him work alone in the house, split the load equally. When he returns after a hard day at work, make sure that there’s a hot meal waiting for him on the dining table. Do not deprive your husband of sex either and perhaps even initiate it sometimes. If you go out of your way to make him feel loved, he won’t exactly have time to think of other women.

Final Thoughts

The only way to keep your husband from cheating is by giving him no reason to do that. Follow the tips mentioned above, and you will increase the likelihood of staying in a monogamous relationship until death makes you part.

Cheers!…

Moments You Should Never Forget After Your Wedding

How many couples do you think come to a therapist’s office every day to try to save their marriage before the relationship becomes irreparable? Similarly, how many married individuals volunteer to get an appointment with a counselor to work on themselves and (hopefully) fix the home that their issues ruined?

It is a little hard to identify the exact number across the globe – and not everyone can openly admit to seeking marriage counseling anyway. However, what we should concern ourselves with more is the fact that couples these days need outside help to repair their relationship, which may have been shaken by cheating, anger management problems, jealousy, et cetera. That is something that our ancestors might laugh at if you suggest it to them during an argument. Issues that occur between family members should get fixed by the family members, after all, or so they used to believe.

Nevertheless, marriage therapy may not be necessary once you and your spouse think back to the moments that you have experienced together after the wedding.

Why Should You Do That?

The days leading to the actual wedding day tend to be somewhat tricky for the bride-to-be, especially if she refuses to employ the services of a coordinator. That person should have been able to help search for the possible venue, caterer, gown designer, invitation creator, and various things. The upside of making that choice, though, is that you have countless memories of the activities you have done as a couple to bring your dream wedding to fruition.

The rewarding feeling that may engulf both of you once the priest or marriage officiant offers their final blessings and you look at all the well-wishers’ faces is something that troubled couples tend to forget. They try to resolve an issue by saying who’s more at fault instead of forgiving each other and remembering why they got married in the first place. If only you two focus on the latter more, life may once again be harmonious in your household.

Other post-wedding moments you should always keep in mind include:

First Kiss

The first kiss is one of the memories that even aged couples rarely forget. Even though marriage papers need to be registered to make the union official, it is this sweet moment that’s shared by the couple at the end of the ceremony that, for lack of better words, seals the deal.

Customary Dance

There are diverse concepts that brides and grooms wish to see on their unique, yet what creates fun wedding memories is the first dance that you will have with your new spouse. While it is customary, however, the kind of dance that you are going to perform together is not limited to the slow type. Some newlyweds even like to do choreographed dances at present, while others are not afraid of popping and locking in their wedding attire. The only thing that matters is that you can imagine yourself dancing with your life partner until you grow old.

First House

With the assumption that you have lived in separate houses before the marriage, stepping in the first house where you will potentially start your family together as a Mrs. to his Mr. can be a thrilling and enjoyable experience. A lot of thoughts and emotions can race in your mind and heart whenever you look at it, especially if you are yet to fill the empty spaces with furniture and, of course, photos that will always remind you of your happy days. Thus, it is not a bad idea to revisit that place once more with your partner and think of how you can go forward together.

First Pregnancy News

Newlyweds become the happiest when they find out that they are going to have a child a few months after the wedding. The soon-to-be fathers are excited about the possibility of raising a son or a daughter; the first-time mothers feel joyful with the fact that they have a baby growing in their womb. Nonetheless, how the couple feels upon realizing that their love allowed another life to be created.

Final Thoughts

Keeping the relationship intact may be challenging when terrible circumstances have already rocked your marriage. However, if you have time to quarrel or look for a therapist, you should also have time to relieve the good, old days. Who knows, you may find a happy memory that will stick and make you want to forgive and forget each other’s misgivings.

Good luck!…

Do You Need Online Therapy For Couples Or Individual Sessions

When there are problems in your relationship people generally think of couples counseling. They think that they need to start working on their problems as a couple and try to work through things that way, but the truth is couples counseling isn’t always the answer. What you need to do is discover what type of problem you’re really dealing with and then you’ll be able to decide if it’s a ‘you’ problem (something that you want to improve within yourself) or a ‘relationship’ problem (something that needs to be improved between the two of you). Then you can better assess what type of online therapy will suit your situation best.…

Top 5 Rules For A Successful Marriage

Marriage is not a walk in a park. Both parties are required to exert efforts in keeping the love and passion alive. Every single day, each spouse needs to make individual decisions that are in line with the goal of strengthening the marital bond. There are days when the marriage could be full of problems and challenges. During these days, it is essential for both couples to fight for the relationship and to remember why they settled for marriage in the first place.

If you want to stay happy in love with your partner, then this article is perfect for you. We are going to list down the top five rules to follow to achieve a successful marriage. Let these guidelines help you become a better husband or wife to your other half:

RULE 1: Make time for each other.

While it is highly recommended to continuous work hard to improve your career, make sure that you do not forget how to spend quality time with your partner. Avoid making your loved one feel that you do not have enough time for him or her. Take advantage of rest days, holidays or weekends to bond with each other. Sometimes, all you need is to forget about work for a day or two, cuddle up in bend and savor the special moment.

RULE 2: Live in the present.

Do not bring up the past that can only hurt you and your spouse. When the other person commits a mistake, learn how to forgive and forget. Be mature about it and accept the fact that people can make mistakes sometimes. What matters is that both of you are willing to leave the past and embrace the future. Live in the present and seize every moment shared with your partner.

RULE 3: Be affectionate.

One of the common problems in marriage is the failure to express emotions and feelings. When this happens, there is a tendency that one of the spouses may feel neglected or abandoned by the other. Your goal is to ensure that your husband or wife do not think that way. Learn how to make the other person feel that you love him or her. Be affectionate all the time. Do not bottle up your feelings for you. Remember that expressing your love and care would mean a lot to your other half.

RULE 4: Communicate properly.

The key to a happy marriage is to communicate properly with each other. Try to have meaningful conversations at night. Ask your partner how his or her day went. Listen carefully to all the details and never interrupt. This is the best way to make the other person feel that you value them. Conversely, if you have an issue that you want to discuss with your husband or wife, then be sure to let him or her know about it.

RULE 5: Make decisions together.

This is where most married couples fail. Unfortunately, some husbands or wives make decisions without consulting their partners. This could hurt the marriage or relationship. As such, never make big life decisions without talking to your spouse about it. Consider first what the other person has to say and listen to some suggestions or alternatives. Take note that since the day you got married, you are no longer on your own. You have your entire family with you. Let your partner and the kids be part of the decision-making processes.…

The Wrong Things To Say In Every Marriage

No matter how perfect a relationship is, there will always come a time when so many things challenge it. Sometimes, even the little lies can cause a marriage to crumble down. As such, it is important for married couples to be honest with each other all the time. Both the husband and wife must learn how to communicate correctly. Whenever each spouse needs to say something, the other spouse must be willing to listen. At the same time, each partner must be understanding and patient when it comes to dealing with the issues of the marriage.

Indeed, there are so many things that can stir turmoil in a marriage. A single statement or remark may lead to the end of marriage. When combined with other factors, it can result in the divorce of the spouses. To avoid this from happening, make sure that you do not lie about these matters:

“I no longer love my partner.”

The worst thing that can happen in any marriage is when one spouse loses love for the other. This is truly heartbreaking, not only for the couple but also for the children involved. Therefore, before you utter these words, make sure that you know what you are talking about. Avoid telling your husband or wife that you do not love him or her anymore when in fact, you are not sure of your emotions.

Always keep in mind that loving someone is still a choice. During the difficult times in your marriage, start thinking of all the happy things that happened during the marital union. The good ones will always outweigh the bad ones. You have the choice to fight for the marriage and renew the marriage vow.

“I made a mistake in marrying the wrong person.”

The longer you stay in the marriage, the more you will see pass through a person. You may start to realize that the person you married years ago has changed a lot. Sometimes, you may even feel that you no longer know your husband or wife. Remember that there are so many ways to making things work for the better. As long you find it in your heart to try to work things out, then things will fall back to its right places. You can start by knowing the heart’s desires of your partner.

“My children will understand if we get a divorce.”

When a marriage ends up in divorce, the parties that will be affected include not only the spouses but also their children. This is the reason why it is significant for a couple to talk about things before making a decision. They have to consider not only their feelings but also the emotions of the kids. It can genuinely be heartbreaking for a happy marriage to end up in separation simply. Imagine how your son or daughter would feel about the break-up. A recent study shows that children who grow up in a broken family are more likely to become rebellious compared to those who have a complete family.…

How Social Media Is Killing Marriage

Source: lifeadvancer.com

We heard stories of couples experiencing challenging situations and even go to the extreme point of separating or divorcing all just because of the influence of social media. For real? Yes. This is actually happening today and this article will try to elaborate further on how social media can destroy marriage and will also look into the strategies to prevent it from happening.…

How to Have a Successful Marriage After Having Kids

 

It’s no doubt that after having kids, it leaves both parents tired, drained and even frustrated, especially moms. It’s even worse when you have two kids or more. Kids do have a wear and tear effect on marriage. It can also be quite an adjustment for some people to transition from the liberating couplehood life to what they are accustomed to now having a family that needs you 24/7.

The key to having a successful marriage after kids is not to give up and to stick by your partner’s side while raising your kids. Parenting is a glorious experience when both mother and father play a role in it. Cherish your little ones while they’re young because they won’t stay kids forever.

Here’s some tips that can help you with having a happy marriage and raising your kids to the fullest at the same time:

Set Routines for Your Kids        

Have a set bedtime, meal time, homework time etc. It is important to have your kids settled in a routine. They will become so used to it, and this will also help you and your partner. This will make your life a whole lot easier.

Must Read for Dads

Help your wives out wherever you can. Whether it’s some household chores, helping your child with homework or giving the baby a bath. Whatever you can help with, your wife will really appreciate it. It will relieve her and by doing this, she will also have more time for you.

Remember, taking care of the kids and looking after the household is worse than a full-time job and it’s difficult for her to cope, especially if she also works. You also have a role to play at home and the kids are yours, too, so help her out with it and take part in the duties of your household.

Plan a Date for Just You and Your Partner

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a little break away from your kids to have some husband and wife time. In fact, this will help you with strengthening your marriage and not to mention having some peace and quiet for a little while! Ask family members if they would take care of your kids for the day or hire a reliable nanny. Then plan a date with your partner, whatever you used to enjoy before you had kids. You can also make this a monthly or bi-weekly thing.

Plan Family Activities

This can be games that are played at home or you can go out for family fun activities. Considering fishing, camping or having a picnic at the park and playing with the kids. This will allow you and your family to bond. It will make your kids happy and your partner too.

Exchange Flirty and Sexy Emails or Messages During the Day

This will make you feel great about yourself and your partner will definitely look forward to coming home to you. It will also keep the spark alive in your marriage and will make you feel like a newlywed couple.

Be Patient with Each Other

Patience is another key to having a strong and healthy marriage. Overlook the small bad habits that your partner has. Remember nobody is perfect, not even you. Getting tired and sloppy is also humanly. So, be patient with your partner when this happens to them.

Have Sex

There’s no rule in the book that you must have sex every night without fail. In fact, having sex every night is probably impossible with kids and careers. By having sex even 2-3 times a week doesn’t mean your marriage is failing. Having sex twice a week is fine. When you and your partner stop having sex, then you should start worrying and working on your marriage.…

Finding A Balance Between Career and Marriage

                   

Around 50 years back, it was normal for the husband to have a career and provide for the family, whilst the women stayed back home and took care of the kids and the household duties. In today’s times, its normal for both husband and wife to have a flourishing career. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman being financially independent and successful. However, it has become a common issue with married couples who spend most of their time focusing on their careers, which leads to problems in the marriage.

Both husband and wife work long hours and spend little to no time with each other. This leads to frustration and some couples even end up getting a divorce. This is devastating! Finding a balance between career and marriage is possible. If you neglect your partner and even your family members due to your career, it’s inevitable that you will regret it later on life. So, before this happens, here’s some tips that you can help with finding the balance between marriage and your career:

Set Aside Time for Your Partner

Allocate some time for your partner. Set aside a day that suits both you and your partner. Plan your work schedule out accordingly and your work hours. Try and spend an entire day with your partner or family and try and make this a weekly routine.

Plan Some Fun Activities

After you’ve allocated the time for your partner; plan some fun activities for you and your partner to do. Something which you both enjoy. It can be shopping, going for a picnic, going out for dinner, or even sitting at home, watching movies and cooking together. Whatever, it is that you both enjoy doing together.

Set Your Work Goals

When setting your work goals and hours, be reasonable. Don’t overexert yourself. Set realistic goals. Ones which don’t leave you burned out or leave you with no family time and time for yourself.

Cut Your Living Costs

Try and cut out unnecessary expenses. Usually, the more expenses you have, the more both partners have to work to cover up these expenses. Wherever its possible, try and cut it out. Set a budget for your expenses and stick to it. Also, avoid getting yourself into debt, this will make your life, marriage and work life less stressful.

 Respect Each Other’s Careers

Respect is most definitely the foundation for a healthy marriage. As a matter of fact, any relationship requires respect. Likewise, you and your partner need to respect one another’s careers. After all, it’s something that’s an important part of both your lives and more importantly, is what helps you pay the bills. By respecting each other’s careers, it will also strengthen your relationship.

Set Boundaries with Your Career

By this, I mean don’t take any phone calls from work while you are spending time with your partner and avoid discussing business during this time. It’s all right for you and partner to talk about how your day went and your successes in your career. However, it shouldn’t be the only thing that you discuss.

Plan A Vacation Together

Plan your work schedules and plan to take your leave at the same time. Try and take at least a week off from work and plan a nice vacation. Even better, if you could save up some money to go on a trip overseas. This will help you de-stress and also give you a break from work. Moreover, it’s time to work on your marriage and enjoy some quality time with your loved one and make memories that you both can cherish for the rest of your life.…

How To Become The Best Partner In Marriage

Source:slrlounge.com

When we decide to commit, spend the rest of our lives and marry somebody, we envision a fire of romance without the glimpse of it fading away. As a husband or a wife, how do we keep on falling in love with the same person every day? How do we become the best “part” of being partners? Is it really possible to have the same gravity of falling in love from the first day you set eyes upon each other until you are old and gray? Here are some of the tips that stood the tests of time which can make it work as if every day is your honeymoon stage.…