Keeping Your Relationship Healthy And Happy

“Scorekeeping is a useful way to determine winners and losers between opposing teams, but in relationships, both partners should be on the same team.” — Emily Cook, PhD, LCMFT

Healthy, happy relationships are what everyone strives for, but it’s not necessarily always an option. The truth is, some marriages start out amazing and start to struggle a little over time. What that means is it’s time for you and your partner to start looking at what’s going on in your relationship and start making some changes. If you’re already happy and healthy, keeping it that way is a result of working at your marriage and continuing to strive for even better and even more as you go along. You’ll be surprised how great your relationship is.

Talk About the Good

When your partner does something nice for you that you really appreciate or really like, let them know. Don’t just let them flounder wondering if it was good that they did it or bad or indifferent. Remember to thank them and tell them how you felt about it. It’s always good to acknowledge their extra effort especially if your partner does something for you that you know they worked hard on. Even if you didn’t necessarily need them to do it or care if they did, acknowledging the help or the action is going to make them feel more validated and that makes them happier in the relationship.

“It’s not always easy to identify feelings about a situation, but “I” statements can create a foundation for healthier conversation.” — Deanna Richards, LMHC

Talk About the Bad

When your partner does something that you don’t like or there’s something you’d like them to change you need to let them know. Don’t just assume that it’s going to change on its own and don’t just assume that you can live with it. If you let them know they may be able to make some changes that will make you happier. Make sure that you are willing to make some changes for them as well. You don’t want them to be the only one making changes to the relationship. You want them to be happy too and if they feel they’re doing all the changing (or if you do) then no one is going to be happy.

Talk About the Neutral

Make sure you’re telling your partner about the neutral things that happen throughout the day as well. You should want to talk to them about your day and hear about their day. You should talk to them about the minor unimportant things and the big, important ones. Just general conversation is going to keep your relationship healthy and it’s going to make sure that both of you continue to work towards the success of the relationship as well.

“Show your own hand first. Share your vulnerability.” — Bonnie Ray Kennan, PsyD, MFT

Keep Up the Intimacy

It’s not just about having sex, though sex is an important part of your relationship. You also want to make sure that you are just spending time together. Cuddling together or holding hands or just casual touches throughout the day actually help you feel better in your individual life and they improve your relationship as a couple. Make sure you’re continuing to extend the intimacy whenever you can and definitely work on it if it’s not a big part of your life.

 

The best thing that you can do is keep doing what you’re doing right now because that’s how you’re going to continue improving your relationship and making it work even better for you. There’s no reason for you and your partner to start failing in your relationship now when you’re already doing so well. Whenever you have a problem, make sure you’re talking about it and whenever you have something good to say, talk about it too. Keeping open lines of communication is the most important thing in keeping any relationship healthy and happy.…

Why Working On Your Marriage Is Important (Even When It’s Going Well)

Your marriage may seem great and maybe it is great. Maybe you have discovered ways to work through all your problems or to work as a team in every way possible. Maybe things are wonderful. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore things that are happening in your marriage. As John Amodeo Ph.D.,  MFT said, “Sadly, there is often a gap between the love we feel in our heart and the emotional intimacy we experience with someone.”

What kind of problems are you having even if you are able to work them out together? What things kind of annoy you about your partner but you just ignore them or let it go? Those are the things you need to think about.

The Little Things

There is no doubt there are going to be some things about your partner that you aren’t 100% in love with. They may have some little habits that annoy you but you don’t say anything because ‘I can just live with it’. Well, those things are going to continue to annoy you over time and if you’re not careful, they can become the catalyst for something else entirely. There are always going to be things about your partner that aren’t your favorite thing. Talking to them about these things and why they bug you is a great way to build on your relationship before those little things start taking you down from the inside.

The Problems

Think about the problems that you do have. When you fight, what happens? Why are you arguing? Even if you find ways to work it out, are you arguing about the same things every time? If you are then it’s something that you should be working on together before your next fight. Why continue to argue about it when you could work out a solution so that it doesn’t happen again? You’ll definitely feel better about the situation that way and it works better for the future. In the words of Catherine Aponte PsyD, “Communication in a personal relationship is about a husband and a wife collaborating with each other by sharing perceptions, feeling, ideas, and thoughts so that they can come to an understanding of what is happening between them—what their joint reality is.”

 

Talk to Each Other

Sit down and talk about the things that you would like your partner to do for you. Maybe you don’t want to do the dishes all the time and you’d appreciate if they did. Maybe you don’t want to be solely responsible for taking care of the car and would like them to do it sometimes. Letting the other person know what you want from them is a great way to make sure you’re going to get it. After all, they can’t fix what they don’t know is wrong.

Think about the last time your partner did something that made you feel really special or made you really happy. Let them know that you appreciated it or really enjoyed it. This will definitely make them more likely to do the same thing again in the future because they know you like it and they know you appreciated it.  Your partner wants to make you happy just like you want to make them happy, so don’t be afraid to keep talking about the good and the bad things in your relationship.

 

Working on your relationship when things are good is actually great. It’s going to help you feel happier in your relationship for a long time to come, and that’s what you’re really looking for. You want to be happy with your partner all the time, and while that may not always be possible, it is possible for you to cut down on the arguments. A relationship that is already damaged or where the couple is already struggling is a lot harder to fix than one where the relationship is healthy and all you’re doing is continuing to improve. Don’t let anything get in the way of a good relationship for you and your partner.

“In every intimate relationship, empathy is the key to relationship success.” — April Eldemire LMFT

When Your Husband Doesn’t Want To Have Sex, Ask A Psychiatrist On What To Do

 

 

“Don’t underestimate the impact of your physical situation.” — Stan Tatkin Psy.D.

When we were still dating, my boyfriend and now husband of 12 years, were like rabbits. Sex here, sex there, and sex everywhere. No corner in my apartment or his condo was left unblessed by our act of “love,” and he was such a God in the bed, table, chair, floor, and balcony… ok, I’ll stop there. What I want to stress out is that twelve years ago, our physical intimacy was off the roof.

 

Now, if you ask me about our sex life, it’s almost non-existent. We don’t have sex that much anymore and our last “encounter” was I think on my birthday. I became 38 about two months ago. It wasn’t even that good for he had a quickie and I was left wanting for more.

“In our 21st century culture, an intimate relationship that contains good sex is the stated ideal. Yet more than 10 percent of committed couples are having sex with each other only rarely, if at all, and yet consider themselves to be in a happy relationship.” — Isadora Alman MFT, CST

At first, I didn’t mind it. My husband was so pressured at work with his quota and all. I understood him at that time. One week became two and the weeks flew to a month. I would start with my sexy advances, and he’d say – “Oh, I would love to hun, but I’m so tired. Can we do it this weekend?” Of course, I’d say yes and then, the weekend came. Still, there was another reason and then another, and another. He shrugs it off and forgets about the whole thing. I mean, who would intentionally forget about sex?

 

I questioned myself. What is happening here? Is there something wrong? Am I not good enough for him? Does he not find me attractive anymore? Or maybe it’s because I’m too fat? I did gain about 15 pounds after my last delivery. He is not a fan of chubby women, I know that. What he wants is a slim and athletic woman who is not me right now. Or the worse, IS HE HAVING AN AFFAIR?

 

 

My husband doesn’t like confrontations, and in the few instances that I questioned him about something personal, it didn’t end well. I had no one to talk to about my problem, and it was making me anxious. The once happy and jolly me was also very depressed. Once I hit that “something is wrong with me” realization, I made a brilliant move for myself and my marriage. My gut told me to ring a psychiatrist for assistance and I’m so glad that I did it.

“The elusive intimacy we seek doesn’t congeal through the knee jerk reaction of criticizing and attacking our loved ones.” — John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT

She was able to talk me out of overthinking the whole situation, and on doubting myself. I hated all of that when it plagued my weak mind. It made me insecure, and my self-esteem was declining which was a lousy way of handling myself. My shrink told me that I am better than this and if I have a problem with my husband, maybe there are words to say to him that cannot offend, but still communicate how I genuinely feel.

 

I came to my husband on a weekend when he was relaxing on his big Papa Bear chair. My first move was asking him if we can talk. He closed Moby Dick and put down his glasses. He said that yes, he was free to speak with me. After that, I said that I love him very much and that our marriage means the world to me. I proceeded with “I want to tell you something which I hope will come to you as something constructive and repairable. Please don’t judge me and do tell me how you feel about it because I value your feelings.

 

And so, I told him that I have sexual needs which haven’t been met for months. After a brief explanation from me, my husband held my hand. He said: “I’m so sorry, hun. I promise that I will do better from now on and make an effort to make you feel that you are the most attractive woman in this universe for me.” He kissed me, and you know what happened next.

 

 

It wasn’t always perfect after that. There are days when my husband would take a step back from his promise, but he would work on the issue as soon as he realizes his shortcoming. He also wanted to do a couples counseling thing and that was a good sign for me. At least, he is trying his best.…

Stress In A Marriage

 

 

Marriage isn’t a one-way express ticket to a happily ever after. It is a road that is continuously in construction. New paths are created, but there will always be bumps up ahead. Sometimes you’re left facing with a dead-end and with no way of knowing where to go or what to do.

 

In relationships, conflicts are inevitable. However, when not adequately dealt with, it can cause a lot of stress on the marriage, threatening its stability. Challenging and stressful issues will arise, and it is essential to know the causes behind it and how it affects a marriage.

 

Causes Of Stress In A Marriage

Finances

Most wives worry about financial support. Under difficult economic circumstances, couples can easily break down under pressure. Paying for bills, putting food on the table, childbearing and rearing, and even education; everything involves money. Issues like these can easily spark “bad blood” between partners.

 

Lack of communication

A relationship is built on trust and connection. Without communication, misunderstandings and arguments can arise. The way a couple sees each other may also change negatively and increase the chances of separation and divorce. It becomes more difficult for a couple to see problems clearly and they are blinded on how to resolve it.

 

 

Children

Having children is a gift, but it can also add stress to the marriage. Having kids means changing lifestyles, routines, and even habits and behaviors. Miscarriage or death of a child is also a traumatic event. Moreover, if you have children, there is always the need to be sensitive, considerate, and understanding at all times, which can be very mentally taxing.

 

Work

Work demands a lot, whether it’s part-time or full-time. Pressure may come from not being able to spend precious time with family or being irritable at the end of a hard day’s work. It takes a toll on one’s emotional and physical health.

 

Differences

There have been instances where one wakes up and realizes their partner beside them is too different. When you’re married, you understand things and learn more about who your partner is as a human. Being married comes with a lot of changes, which may seem like a whiplash of reality for some couples when they see that their partner isn’t who they thought they were.

 

Impact Of Stress On Your Marriage

First of all, conflicts will arise. Irritation that comes with stress is often taken out on other people. In relationships, arguments happen because of a slight change in tone or words said out of frustration. The intimacy between the couple can also weaken.

 

Couples may often grow sick of each other’s presence or adapt the mindset of “we’re only in the same space.” The worst effect of chronic stress in a marriage can be separation or divorce. The lack of communication increases conflict, and negativity can influence or push the couple to seek a divorce. It’s imperative for the couple to be able to see problems clearly and solve them together, but with stress plaguing both, it is a long shot.

 

 

 

Don’t Let it Wait

If you think that you and your partner are under stress or feeling the pressure, it’s essential to reach out to others. Marriage or relationship counseling is an excellent way to find alternative measures to deal with the stress. A couple is supposed to be a team, and it’s essential to go through hurdles together while they walk hand-in-hand every step of the way.…

Living A Sexless Marriage – How To Fix It

 

 

Sex plays a huge role in an intimate relationship. It is a human’s way of expressing their intimate emotions to their respective partners.  However, there comes a point in most couple’s lives wherein the intimacy spell fades out, leaving the relationship utterly sexless. This issue, of course, affects not just the physical contact between the couple but their relationship as well.

 

 “Having a sexless marriage can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.” — Lisa Thomas LMFT

How Does Lack Of Intimacy Affect Both Partners?

For men, intimacy issue is a big problem. It can lead to heightened frustration, anxiety and even trigger insecurities. It can put considerable damage in their self-perception. Between a man and a woman, the man is more sexual. Thus, this is a big issue for them.

 

For women, intimacy problem is also a dilemma. But the impact is not as profound as that of men. Women can divert their sexual urges to simple emotional connections with their partners and be contented with it.

 

Can A Sexless Marriage Survive?

Every married couple is unique. There is a significant number of marriages that have overcome sexless relationships and remain married to each other. They are still together due to culture, duty, religion, and obligation. In some cultures, they believe that marriage is more than just sex and that is why they choose to be together than be overwhelmed with physical problems.

 

How Does One Cope In A Marriage Without Sex?

Intimacy drops and rises. There will come to a point in one’s life wherein sex life becomes a chore and later on becomes stagnant. But there’s always hope in every situation. People have different ways of coping with this type of situation.

 

 

“Couples in sexless marriages offer the Anti-Magi gift; they figure out what the other most desires and withhold it.” — Laurie J Watson LMFT, LPC

Tips To Fix A Sexless Marriage

Just like any other issue, sexless marriage can be fixed. However, effort should be exerted in both parties. Below are some tips to rekindle back the fire into your sex life:

 

  • Determine the factor that gets you and your partner into that situation.
  • Have an open conversation with your partner.
  • Don’t play the blame game. Instead, ascertain what you have contributed to the issue.
  • Control your temper.
  • Make a goal that you and your partner will fix the intimacy problem.
  • Start with the primary physical contacts like holding of hands, etc.
  • Tell your partner how you miss him whenever you are apart from each other.
  • Do things together – talk, be in each other’s arms while watching a movie, etc.
  • Make yourself attractive to your partner. Get fit and maintain a healthy physique.
  • Do not complain too much, nag, or be too clingy.
  • Share your fantasies with your partner, whether they are sexual or not.
  • Leave old issues, bitterness, resentments, and unpleasant memories behind. Treat your partner with love, affection, and kindness.
  • Forgive your partner for his shortcomings.
  • Make an effort in serving your partner.
  • Be adventurous, experiment some sex games.
  • In every success, celebrate.
  • Have time to get involved in marriage or couple retreats.
  • Spend holidays and weekends with lots of memories and fun things to do.
  • Recall the times when you both were so into each other. Bring that passion back to present times.

 

If you need more guidance or if you feel that nothing works, seek professional help. Intimacy problems can be resolved. However, it requires the two of you to be involved. Be optimistic and work hand-in-hand with your partner. These problems can be resolved if there is love.

“Physical intimacy cannot be resolved without emotional intimacy, so take the courageous step and voice your concerns either to your spouse or a trained professional.” — Sam Louie MA, LMHC

You Can’t Save Your Spouse Who Don’t Want Saving – My Therapist Opened My Eyes

“I have come to believe that the real culprit in marriage isn’t the particular problems people bring to therapists, it’s when one or both spouses become hopeless. Hopelessness is the real cancer in marriage.” — Michele Weiner-Davis LCSW

I am fully aware that this site is all about saving your marriage. Don’t get me wrong here. I am all for that. If there is a person in this world that would keep her marriage over and over and over again, well, that’s me. I have tried to save what is left of my abusive marriage, and after 20 years, I think I have done enough saving. People who are abusive to their spouses cannot be saved. That’s what my therapist told me. I cannot save him, and with that, I also cannot save our marriage.…

How To Prevent Your Husband From Ever Cheating On You

“Though some may have a slightly different definition of what qualifies as infidelity, most people seem to believe that it involves sexual or physical betrayal.” — Seth Meyers Psy.D.

A cheating incident – or five – throughout the marriage is typically enough for an emotionally tired wife to turn to a psychologist and ask, “Why is this happening to me?”

From what we have heard, there are a few common reasons that can explain why there are a lot of married men who risk the fate of their family and start an illicit affair with someone else. One of them is that the guy may have been influenced by his friends to date another woman behind his wife’s back. Others start to cheat after a drinking incident that has led them to sleep with a female friend or stranger, and then they have somehow kept on doing it. In some cases, the man may be subconsciously addicted to sex; that’s why he cannot stop himself from jumping into someone else’s bed.

None of these reasons sound justifiable enough to forgive a cheater – that is true – especially if it has happened on more than one occasion. Nevertheless, considering you have never been in that situation – and you don’t ever want to be – here are some ideas that every wife should remember to prevent your husband from ever cheating on you.

1. Always Check If You Are Still On The Same Page

The first thing that you should be able to do is to confirm from time to time that your goals and beliefs in life are still similar to one another. If not, then you should at least know what has changed in theirs, and vice versa.

 

It matters to check such aspects regardless of how long you have been together because married couples tend to drift apart when they do not talk about their long-term objectives in front of each other. One may assume that the other has lost interest; that’s why the former might start looking for love elsewhere. If you don’t wish for that to occur, you should make a point of discussing everything that happens in your lives as often as possible.

2. Look After Yourself

As harsh as it may sound, your husband may lose his affection towards you if he notices that you no longer care for your appearance. For instance, you forget to shower your hair for days or sleep in a shirt that your kid has puked on in the morning. Or, after giving birth, you may have sworn off going to the gym to look after the children, but then you stop watching your diet too and end up being as heavy as a whale.

“Some marriages can only be saved with one hundred Zen things; others cannot be saved at all. With this said, a lot of marriages can be saved with a few, relatively minor changes.” — Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.

You may argue that love is blind and that you have promised to stick with one another forever, but the reality is quite different from that. Physical attraction is essential for any couple. In case you let go of yourself like that and presume that your spouse will always be faithful to you no matter how you look, you are practically giving him an excuse to find a more attractive woman. Thus, to avoid that, you should look after yourself all the time.

3. Make Your Husband Feel Special

A married friend came to our house one day because she did not know who else to turn to. Asking what the matter was, she said that her husband was having an affair with his coworker and planning to divorce her. The longer our conversation went on, though, the more I realized that the problem was her. She would act like a princess at home, order the guy to do all the chores, and stop him from even visiting his parents – everything that could suffocate any sane individual, practically speaking.

There’s no way to save that friend’s marriage, but you can prevent such an unfortunate situation by treating your spouse correctly. Instead of making him work alone in the house, split the load equally. When he returns after a hard day at work, make sure that there’s a hot meal waiting for him on the dining table. Do not deprive your husband of sex either and perhaps even initiate it sometimes. If you go out of your way to make him feel loved, he won’t exactly have time to think of other women.

“Even when the couples were monogamous the sharing of fantasies about other people or of escapades from before these two met could make for not only stimulating pillow talk but a sense of enhanced closeness: “See how much I love and trust you.  I prove it by my complete honesty.”” — Isadora Alman MFT, CST

Final Thoughts

The only way to keep your husband from cheating is by giving him no reason to do that. Follow the tips mentioned above, and you will increase the likelihood of staying in a monogamous relationship until death makes you part.

Cheers!…

Moments You Should Never Forget After Your Wedding

How many couples do you think come to a therapist’s office every day to try to save their marriage before the relationship becomes irreparable? Similarly, how many married individuals volunteer to get an appointment with a counselor to work on themselves and (hopefully) fix the home that their issues ruined?

It is a little hard to identify the exact number across the globe – and not everyone can openly admit to seeking marriage counseling anyway. However, what we should concern ourselves with more is the fact that couples these days need outside help to repair their relationship, which may have been shaken by cheating, anger management problems, jealousy, et cetera. That is something that our ancestors might laugh at if you suggest it to them during an argument. Issues that occur between family members should get fixed by the family members, after all, or so they used to believe.

“Gaining clarity on what your personal needs are, what your marital needs are as well as how and where to get your needs met has a huge impact on the direction you take in your marriage.” — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

Nevertheless, marriage therapy may not be necessary once you and your spouse think back to the moments that you have experienced together after the wedding.

Why Should You Do That?

The days leading to the actual wedding day tend to be somewhat tricky for the bride-to-be, especially if she refuses to employ the services of a coordinator. That person should have been able to help search for the possible venue, caterer, gown designer, invitation creator, and various things. The upside of making that choice, though, is that you have countless memories of the activities you have done as a couple to bring your dream wedding to fruition.

The rewarding feeling that may engulf both of you once the priest or marriage officiant offers their final blessings and you look at all the well-wishers’ faces is something that troubled couples tend to forget. They try to resolve an issue by saying who’s more at fault instead of forgiving each other and remembering why they got married in the first place. If only you two focus on the latter more, life may once again be harmonious in your household.

Other post-wedding moments you should always keep in mind include:

First Kiss

The first kiss is one of the memories that even aged couples rarely forget. Even though marriage papers need to be registered to make the union official, it is this sweet moment that’s shared by the couple at the end of the ceremony that, for lack of better words, seals the deal.

“When the law says, “You belong. You have the same rights as everyone else,” that has a profound impact on how we view ourselves and each other.” — Mark O’Connell LCSW-R

Customary Dance

There are diverse concepts that brides and grooms wish to see on their unique, yet what creates fun wedding memories is the first dance that you will have with your new spouse. While it is customary, however, the kind of dance that you are going to perform together is not limited to the slow type. Some newlyweds even like to do choreographed dances at present, while others are not afraid of popping and locking in their wedding attire. The only thing that matters is that you can imagine yourself dancing with your life partner until you grow old.

First House

With the assumption that you have lived in separate houses before the marriage, stepping in the first house where you will potentially start your family together as a Mrs. to his Mr. can be a thrilling and enjoyable experience. A lot of thoughts and emotions can race in your mind and heart whenever you look at it, especially if you are yet to fill the empty spaces with furniture and, of course, photos that will always remind you of your happy days. Thus, it is not a bad idea to revisit that place once more with your partner and think of how you can go forward together.

First Pregnancy News

Newlyweds become the happiest when they find out that they are going to have a child a few months after the wedding. The soon-to-be fathers are excited about the possibility of raising a son or a daughter; the first-time mothers feel joyful with the fact that they have a baby growing in their womb. Nonetheless, how the couple feels upon realizing that their love allowed another life to be created.

“I’m certain that if more couples realized that there really is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, they’d be more willing to tough it out through the downpour.” — Michele Weiner-Davis LCSW

Final Thoughts

Keeping the relationship intact may be challenging when terrible circumstances have already rocked your marriage. However, if you have time to quarrel or look for a therapist, you should also have time to relieve the good, old days. Who knows, you may find a happy memory that will stick and make you want to forgive and forget each other’s misgivings.

Good luck!…

Do You Need Online Therapy For Couples Or Individual Sessions

Divorce is a tremendous transition that has repercussions for years on both parents and kids. If you can avoid it, why wouldn’t you? — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

When there are problems in your relationship people generally think of couples counseling. They think that they need to start working on their problems as a couple and try to work through things that way, but the truth is couples counseling isn’t always the answer. What you need to do is discover what type of problem you’re really dealing with and then you’ll be able to decide if it’s a ‘you’ problem (something that you want to improve within yourself) or a ‘relationship’ problem (something that needs to be improved between the two of you). Then you can better assess what type of online therapy will suit your situation best.…

Top 5 Rules For A Successful Marriage

Fidelity must be a conscious choice you make—one that can encourage the emotional creativity to be able to get along for that many years. — Catherine Aponte Psy.D.

Marriage is not a walk in a park. Both parties are required to exert efforts in keeping the love and passion alive. Every single day, each spouse needs to make individual decisions that are in line with the goal of strengthening the marital bond. There are days when the marriage could be full of problems and challenges. During these days, it is essential for both couples to fight for the relationship and to remember why they settled for marriage in the first place.

If you want to stay happy in love with your partner, then this article is perfect for you. We are going to list down the top five rules to follow to achieve a successful marriage. Let these guidelines help you become a better husband or wife to your other half:

RULE 1: Make time for each other.

While it is highly recommended to continuous work hard to improve your career, make sure that you do not forget how to spend quality time with your partner. Avoid making your loved one feel that you do not have enough time for him or her. Take advantage of rest days, holidays or weekends to bond with each other. Sometimes, all you need is to forget about work for a day or two, cuddle up in bend and savor the special moment.

RULE 2: Live in the present.

Do not bring up the past that can only hurt you and your spouse. When the other person commits a mistake, learn how to forgive and forget. Be mature about it and accept the fact that people can make mistakes sometimes. What matters is that both of you are willing to leave the past and embrace the future. Live in the present and seize every moment shared with your partner.

When people have needs that are not being met in the marriage, they either go without and suffer or get their needs met somewhere else. — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

RULE 3: Be affectionate.

One of the common problems in marriage is the failure to express emotions and feelings. When this happens, there is a tendency that one of the spouses may feel neglected or abandoned by the other. Your goal is to ensure that your husband or wife do not think that way. Learn how to make the other person feel that you love him or her. Be affectionate all the time. Do not bottle up your feelings for you. Remember that expressing your love and care would mean a lot to your other half.

RULE 4: Communicate properly.

The key to a happy marriage is to communicate properly with each other. Try to have meaningful conversations at night. Ask your partner how his or her day went. Listen carefully to all the details and never interrupt. This is the best way to make the other person feel that you value them. Conversely, if you have an issue that you want to discuss with your husband or wife, then be sure to let him or her know about it.

Address when your feelings get hurt or when the other truly annoys you, but bite your tongue when it comes to small, unimportant  matters. — Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.

RULE 5: Make decisions together.

This is where most married couples fail. Unfortunately, some husbands or wives make decisions without consulting their partners. This could hurt the marriage or relationship. As such, never make big life decisions without talking to your spouse about it. Consider first what the other person has to say and listen to some suggestions or alternatives. Take note that since the day you got married, you are no longer on your own. You have your entire family with you. Let your partner and the kids be part of the decision-making processes.…