Category: Uncategorized

We are free to choose the kind of person we want to share our lives with. Admittedly we intend to love someone based on our desired preference. Though there are religions and traditions that practice match-making, dynastic urgency, or social convention, most of us are not forced into a relationship for these reasons. However, in reality, our choice of lover is a lot less free than we can imagine. The idea of who we want to care for and love usually comes from a part that we never entirely look into – our childhood.

There is a strong psychological history that influences us to fall in love with certain types of people. We think of it as a preference-based emotional attachment. It goes along the grooves formed in our childhood, focusing only on perfection and romanticism. That explains why we often look for individuals who are too good to be true in many ways. There is an emotional entrapment because we only see love as a form of generosity, kindness, and tenderness. But when we think about it, these distinguished preferences come from our first-hand experience with our parents. Therefore, our desire for love from someone is based on how our parents treat us when we’re kids.

Source: pixabay.com

How We Choose Our Partner?

Understandably, we often look away from those people who do not fit our desired preferences, but seeking marriage counseling can sometimes assist bridge the gap in differences. The prospected candidates do not satisfy our yearning for complexity that we want to associate with love and relationship. Thus, we usually describe these individuals as “boring,” “unattractive,” and “not our type” However, there is a truth we meant by that. Our ideology is that we see these people who we turn down will unlikely make us feel loved. It will less likely create the same impact we often see with our parents’ relationship when we were kids.

Nevertheless, there’s a realization that we need to consider as well. The perfection in our partner that we aim so much can also come from the opposite reflection of our parents. Meaning, when we often witness marital complications when we were kids, we automatically want to destroy the continuation of that unfortunate scenario. Love gets tangled with certain painful experiences. There’s the feeling of not being good enough. It goes with betrayal, jealousy, and abuse. There’s a sense that one cannot be fully vulnerable in front of the other. We often witness this kind of relationship with our parents. So as we grow older, we try our best to avoid experiencing the same.

But some instances choosing a partner is merely a challenge we intend to give ourselves. We hang on to those complicated individuals because they provide the thrilling experience of pain, anxiety, agony, and rage at the same time. We always choose them to be in our lives because these complicated people give us satisfaction whenever we feel out of the ordinary.

Source: pixabay.com

Why Stick With The Difficult Partner?

It often becomes common to receive advice from others to leave our complicated partners to settle with someone more wholesome. But this can be easier said than done. Our ability to endure pain is what makes us more drawn to the idea of love. We cannot magically redirect our feelings and get easily attracted to someone we think is the opposite of our current partner. But we do not also let go of the possibility of getting a room for change. That explains why instead of looking for someone new, we put too much effort into aiming for our partner’s transformation.

However, there is always a solution in handling situations better. That is why instead of initiating and trying very hard to alter our partners, we would choose to make room for small considerations. From there, we make simple adjustments to our responses and behaviors to occasionally handle the difficulty of our partners.

Source: pixabay.com

Takeaway

We might find it hard to change our templates for attraction probably. But we can always re-engineer our instincts and learn to react based on how our partners communicate and interact with us. We need to think through the constructive and mature manner of handling the relationship like a rational adult. We should not regard the whole commitment as a replica of our parents’ relationship that we often see as a child. We need to become open-minded with the enormous opportunity to get away from our childlike preferences and focus on adult patterns.

The challenge of handling someone difficult should not go with “I have to fix you,” “I deserve this,” and “You need to change.” It should be handled with “I don’t have to feel bad,” “It’s no one’s fault,” and “You are okay the way you are.” We have to remember that the answer is not always to end the relationship, regardless of having a complicated partner. Instead, there is a need to strive to deal with the compelling challenges to grow up mentally and emotionally fully.

 …

All marriages struggle with their relationship, and there is no exemption to that. Despite each couple’s ability to understand the situation and compromise, there will still be times when both won’t sustain their individual needs. Regardless of whether the marital issue is solvable or should lead to divorce, it is guaranteed that most married couples have similar concerns. Some factors can ruin their marital commitment, and sometimes they go unnoticeable. To know what those are, below is the list.

Source: pixabay.com

Finances – Married couples often fight about money. Regardless of their ability to avoid misinterpreting each other, financial issues will surely become part of their misunderstandings one way or another. Financial matters cater to broad needs, whether personal, child care, home responsibilities, social life, and so on. Often, couples are uncomfortable discussing financial matters because usually, only one of them is earning money. However, for instance, that both can provide for the family, issues can still escalate as to how much they are allowed to spend and hold some cash.

Labor Division – Married couples usually have issues with labor division, especially related to household chores. For the likes of the husband, usually, they do not intend to commit to doing a lot in the house since they are the ones providing for the family. Therefore, it would be safe to say that the wife should be responsible for taking care of the needs of the children and the house. However, the imbalance creates a problem as most wives feel that marriage is a little bit unfair. Because not only do the wives handle everything in the house, they are also responsible for remembering and taking care of small things, making them busy and unavailable for rest.

Parenting Differences – Parenting is an entirely common marital issue that most couples do not want to discuss. Perhaps they know that the conversation might not end well regarding who has the more right to ruling the kids. Usually, tension regarding how often or who the children should socialize with, what the kids should achieve, and how they should behave are the things that couples struggle to deal with. The parenting differences can cause a rift in the couple because often, the other becomes in favor while the other parent disapproves.

Source: pixabay.com

Boredom – Not all relationship succeeds just by staying the same. Whether they like it or not, the marital relationship will soon come to a point where both individuals will feel bored with each other. They will become less interested in what they once enjoyed and somehow feel that their love for each other is wearing off. At times, marriage can be salvageable. There are things that married couples can do to keep the relationship back on track. They can experiment in doing exciting things together. Sadly, most of the time, it gets to a point where one or both couple calls it quits.

Abuse – No marriage goes on for years without abuse. There are always some instances in that a husband or a wife abuses their partner for whatever reason. Abuse is not just about physical aspects. It also caters to family mental health and the emotional torture one experiences inside a marital relationship. Note that each married coupes’ are different. So if some may consider allowance for mistakes, others may choose to leave the relationship without a blink of an eye. Every decision concerning abuse depends on the couple’s mental and emotional tolerance and resilience.

Intimacy – Yes, sex is a factor that mostly affects married couples. It is a known fact that sexual intimacy is the turning point of the marital relationship. Couples who are frequently having sex may find themselves more connected and passionate with each other. But note that it does not mean that those who are not intimate are unusual. Couples may have a different representation of intimacy. However, in common situations, married couples struggle with their sexual compatibility or incompatibility. Sadly, that explains why some of them end up dissatisfied.

Source: pixabay.com

Jealousy – Marriage won’t be complete without jealousy. As much as couples want to deny it, there is always a portion in their relationship that one or both of them feel insecure. Jealousy in marriage is crucial as it can cause turmoil in the emotional aspects of both individuals. It is stressful because it comes with doubts, fear, and anxiety, leading to a whole new level of mental health problems. Jealousy in marriage can also spur conflict due to unrealistic expectations.

Keeping Scores – It is the root of all misunderstandings in marital relationships. Keeping score is a potential breaker of a relationship as couples may find themselves too focused on their partner’s wrongdoings. It hinders them from appreciating the beauty of being together as they build resentment towards one another. Keeping score in marriage is a habit that not all married couples can see. Unfortunately, it is also not something that husband and wife can easily avoid.

 …

 

Source: rawpixel.com

 

I recall vividly the first few sessions I had with my counselor when I was telling her that my marriage was failing, and I think it’s really over between my partner and me. I sought counseling on my own because I didn’t even have the courage or the eagerness to invite my partner to come with me. My counselor then allowed me to open up to her and express my sadness, frustration, and disappointment. There was very little hope left in me, and Alba, my counselor, was merely there to be a sounding board to listen to the whole gamut of feelings and issues that I had.

After a few months of counseling, I slowly instilled hope in myself, and I decided to ask my partner if he was willing to try and fix our marriage. Surprisingly, he wanted to. That was the beginning of the end of our constant blaming and arguing. We eventually came to look forward to our visits with Alba, as everything we learned about forgiving, understanding, and accepting, we learned from counseling.

One crucial thing that I want to share with you is that my partner and I – just like you and your partner – have numerous differences. Perhaps like us, you too will come to learn how to recognize and embrace each other’s differences.

Below are some things that I learned about my partner:

• His Way Of Communicating. We have our unique ways of connecting with others, both close to us and those with whom we are just establishing relationships. We communicate with each other, and how we deal with our partners and their desires is vital in keeping a positive and healthy marriage.

 

• His Way Of Handling Conflict. As with communication style, we have various ways of handling conflict, but often we don’t exert enough effort and time to understand how our partners deal with conflict. In couples counseling, the third party (the counselor) observes and determines methods to handle conflict and meet each other halfway to avoid misunderstanding.

Source: rawpixel.com

• He Is Not Perfect. You might be wondering, “It’s obvious why they need to see a counselor.” However, we frequently have high standards for our partners that we do not even extend them with the patience and kindness that they have earned. In our sessions, I realized that my partner is not perfect, but so am I. But despite the imperfection, we must only find ways to fill each other’s flaws so that the marriage is ‘perfectly’ established.

 

• Differences Are Not Insufficiencies. I sometimes hear people say that they are the exact opposite of their partner. Realistically, we are all uniquely and wonderfully made. My partner and I have distinct personalities, beliefs, and values, as we were raised from different backgrounds. We committed to work through our various personalities and learned strategies to help us avoid conflict.

 

• He Has His Own Love Language. My partner knows that he easily sways me when he buys me plants to add to my garden, and a short back massage can change my most unpleasant mood. A healthy serving of my baked chicken with gravy, on the other hand, pacifies him. Indeed, my partner and I have a different love language, and I am thankful that we learned that through counseling.

 

• We Don’t Connect In The Same Way. As a couple, we often struggle to look for ways to connect, which was a major factor that led to conflict. Through counseling, I learned that my partner would rather talk it out in person because he hates texting or chatting, but I don’t really mind if I talk with him on the phone for hours. It seems that I can’t get enough of him when he’s not home!

 

• He Has Other Priorities – And That’s Okay. Going to my parents’ house on weekends is a priority for me outside of my marriage. However, my partner makes it a point to go fishing twice a week, and I used to find it impractical and costly. I learned, though, that it was his way of relaxing and spending time for himself. It keeps his mental and physical well-being at bay.

Source: freepik.com

• He Needs Me For Most Things. Before we went to counseling, I always thought my partner was too clingy and dependent on me. However, I didn’t think I was too selfish when I obliged him to keep me company when I went shopping because I didn’t want to drive – and he does it anyway. Counseling helped us realize that we had different needs from each other and whether they were relatively simple or complicated, they are needs that we both can provide as partners – because we loved and respected each other.

Conclusion

Couples counseling has played a tremendous role in saving my marriage and helping my partner and me establish a healthy and positive relationship. Are you having problems with your marriage? Try to consult a counselor in your area. He might be what you and your partner need.

 

 …

Are you having problems with your significant other because of psychological conflict? This conflict may be a sign of cognitive dissonance. It is common in every relationship, but most people are not aware of it.

If you want to know more about cognitive dissonance and how you can manage it, read on.

The word “cognitive” relates to conscious intellectual activities like thinking, remembering, and reasoning. On the other hand, dissonance refers to the lack of agreement.

Social psychologist Leon Festinger first introduced the Cognitive Dissonance Theory (CDT) in 1957. It refers to the discomfort in maintaining consistency between two thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, and values. We struggle once we find conflict within these multiple cognitions.

So, what is the connection of cognitive dissonance to relationships?

Your current significant other may not be your ideal partner, but you accept them for who they are and stay in the relationship. Another example is when your partner does things you’re not fond of, but you try to compromise with them.

When these things happen, you have a conflict between your cognition and your partner’s. That is cognitive dissonance.

Moreover, cognitive dissonance may lead to infidelity. There may be a discrepancy in a person’s self-concept, leading them to cheat even if they believe they are loyal and faithful.  When this happens, they experience psychological discomfort, affecting their thoughts and feelings.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy where you talk to your therapist regarding your thoughts, feelings, and conflicts. This therapy aids in resolving disagreements in relationships, among many issues. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help if you struggle with opening up about your feelings.

You should always consult an expert—your mental health provider, for advice. They can recommend any treatment, like therapies, they deem helpful for you.

Below are some frequently asked questions about cognitive dissonance.

What is cognitive dissonance therapy?

If the consequences of cognitive dissonance have become too severe, you can seek the help of a therapist. You might discover that specific thoughts are influencing your behavior for the worse.

Your therapist will work with you to untangle the web of beliefs and ideas you may have about a situation. Once you recognize the disparity between your thoughts and behavior, it becomes easier to resolve it.

Why is cognitive dissonance bad?

Cognitive dissonance is not always harmful. But if your behavior is not aligned with your core values, you may experience intense feelings. It may include feelings of shame, guilt, and stress. These emotions can negatively affect your self-esteem and interpersonal relationships.

As a result, you might engage in maladaptive behaviors to reconcile the contradictions.

Is cognitive dissonance a disorder?

No, but it can cause emotional distress and harmful behaviors. People may deliberately avoid information that does not conform to their beliefs. They may also refuse a healthy debate to resolve the conflict. In some cases, cognitive dissonance can strain relationships and prevent self-growth.

What is cognitive dissonance in relationships?

It refers to the dissonance that arises when your partner’s beliefs or behaviors may not align with your own. Your partner may have different views on mundane things. But you need to be on the same boat when it comes to planning your future.

You may choose to have an in-depth conversation to resolve the cognitive dissonance or make compromises.

What are the 4 types of relationships?

The four types of interpersonal relationships are between families, friends, acquaintances, and romantic partners. Relationships are bonds between two or more people. It can be long-lasting or short-lived. The duration depends on the commitment of those involved to maintain the relationship.

 

What are some examples of cognitive dissonance?

A person may experience cognitive dissonance due to inherited beliefs about themselves and the world. One example is smokers and alcoholics justifying their harmful habits.

Another example is when a person is taught that being gay is a sin. They might experience cognitive dissonance when the person then identifies as a member of the said community. It can also come in the form of acquired biases or misconceptions about minority groups.

How do you break cognitive dissonance?

It might be impossible to eliminate cognitive dissonance. However, you can reduce the resulting mental tension by changing your behavior.

You can also alter your beliefs so that they are in accordance with your actions. It might be uncomfortable, but you may have to unlearn and relearn particular ideas that may not be relevant anymore.

How do you recognize cognitive dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is when you feel conflicted over something but do not know how to move forward. It might be hard to recognize it at the onset, but you can take a step back to ask why you feel conflicted.

Pay close attention to the thoughts, feelings, and ideas you have about a situation. For severe cases of cognitive dissonance, it’s best to seek professional help.

How does cognitive dissonance lead to an attitude change?

To reduce cognitive dissonance, a person may:

1. Change their existing beliefs,
2. Acquire new information that supports their belief, or
3. Reduce the importance of said beliefs.

A person seeking to sustain their smoking habit can refuse to believe that smoking is harmful. They may also seek out information that confirms their belief. They may even adopt a belief that the short-term benefits of smoking outweigh the long-term consequences.

How does cognitive dissonance affect workplace behavior?

It varies depending on their beliefs and behaviors. But then,  cognitive dissonance can affect employee performance and work relationships. For instance, an employee may discover that the company has questionable practices that do not align with his values. To reduce the tension, they may justify unethical behavior.

At the same time, there is also a tendency to make excessive rationalizations. They may lose motivation to perform their job. It is also possible to experience heightened workplace stress that can affect their productivity.

Why does cognitive dissonance occur?

Cognitive dissonance occurs due to discrepancies between a person’s beliefs and actions or their beliefs and values. It’s not always possible to act in strict accordance with our beliefs all the time.  Cognitive dissonance is a necessary component of a child’s learning process.

What is an example of dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is when a person knows that smoking is harmful to their health but keeps on doing it anyway. Another example is when you keep making excuses to put off exercise even though you’re aware of its many health benefits.

How does cognitive dissonance operate in everyday life?

Cognitive dissonance is not always blatant. It usually comes in the form of everyday excuses we make in life. From missing an exercise day or justifying a “white lie,” we sometimes think or do things that contradict our values. The tension depends on how severe the contradiction is.

What is cognitive conflict?

Cognitive conflict is another term for cognitive dissonance. When a person …

It is funny how relationships get ruined for no reason. Yes, a relationship, just like many other relationships, may fail even without the presence of a third party. That is because emotional and mental health issues, such as depression, can become a factor. Some might not agree with that, I know. But for those couples who are struggling with mental and emotional health issues, the reality is different. This is why it’s important to learn about depression and relationships.

Not all relationships can work, especially when one or both of them already decided that things aren’t under control. Marriage counseling may not always cure the problem. Some instances believe that the mere reason for a failed commitment is falling out of love. But I doubt that. No one easily falls out of love just because they think it’s trendy or entirely necessary. There is a strong reason behind that statement, as well as for quite a while, I realized it was all because of the mental and emotional damage present in the love affair.

Depression is a very real and strong enemy. It has the power to ruin many things. It can affect families and also one’s career. It can be a silent killer, slowly eating away at us until we are no longer able to keep up with the demands of our walk or everyday life. I have witnessed how depression destroys your love for your partner first-hand. Of course, it is not a pretty sight.

How Depression Affected My Relationship

My experience started when my long-term boyfriend was diagnosed with depression. Initially, I didn’t understand the severity of his condition. At the same time, I have no clue how it would affect our love. I thought I could be a positive force in his life. I thought I could help him through it, but it quickly became apparent that I was unprepared for the mental along with emotional toll it would take on me.

I started to feel overwhelmed at that time. I felt helpless – like there was nothing I could do to make him feel better. Our love affair had been so strong for so long, but now it was crumbling before my eyes. I started to become resentful. I felt frustrated as well that I blamed myself for not being able to help him. I felt like a failure for the reason that I was struggling to maintain my own mental well-being.

The Hardest Decision I Made

I eventually had to make the difficult decision to end our relationship. It was heartbreaking. I felt like I had failed him. But I knew that it was the healthiest option for both of us. I had to put my own mind along with emotional well-being first. I couldn’t continue to be in an unhealthy situation anymore.

Despite my worries, I decided to focus on my own healing recovery treatment. I started to see a therapist. I also attended support groups to help me in coping with the trauma of the failed commitment. I worked hard to move on from the pain while starting to build a better future for myself.

As the years passed, I was able to forgive myself for the mistakes I made as well as for leaving my partner. I also learned that it was okay to recognize my own limitations. It was fine to set my own boundaries also not to mention to respect my own emotional and mental health.

Wrapping Up

I am grateful for the lessons I learned in that relationship, and I am now living a more balanced as well as a healthier life. I am still in touch with my ex-boyfriend. I am pleasantly surprised to find out that he is doing much better. He is managing his mood disorder with the help of local resources,  also advice from therapists, including medically reviewed medication. He is living a more fulfilling life.

I still struggle with depression. Depression affects my relationships, but I am more aware of its power now; I know my own limitations. I have learned to be more compassionate while having a better understanding of myself. I am also more aware of my needs and boundaries. I am more willing to take care of myself now. 

Depression is a powerful force, and it can have a serious impact on relationships. But with love, support, and understanding, it is possible to overcome the challenges it brings, You can also live a healthier yet more balanced life.

You might not agree with me, but let me explain some things to you from these frequently asked questions. From there, it is your choice to look deep into these answers. I also recommend trying to use them for your own evaluation.

How Does Mental Illness Affect Commitment?

According to a therapy expert, mental health problems are extremely painful. It is a traumatic moment for all individuals as it creates a huge impact on emotional components. It impacts people’s ability to express empathy due to persistent feelings of anxiety and isolation. It causes codependency or even resentment. There is a struggle to know what individuals should do to cope with their stress while trying their best to manage other life pressure.

Anxiety and depression affect relationships in a very unnoticeable way. Sometimes, it can leave both parties unaware of their words, actions, as well as behaviors. Often, the mental health condition makes it impossible for both individuals to look beneath what is more important.

What Is The Relationship Of Stress To Mood Disorder?

When stress is prolonged, there is a chance that it promotes an overwhelming feeling. The risks of developing medical problems, including mental health problems, increase. Chronic stressful life situations are inevitable. Thus, the possibility of having MDD is right around the corner. However, the damages are not limited to that. Stress contributes to more health issues such as sleep problems, substance use problems, pain, bodily complaints, inability to focus as well as concentration, etc.

 What Are The Types Of Major Mood Disorders?

The common types of depression are Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), Psychotic Depression, Peripartum (Postpartum) Depression, and Situational Depression.

 What Diseases Are Linked To Major Mood Disorders?

Some examples of diseases linked to depression are arthritis, kidney disease, diabetes, heart disease, lupus, HIV/AIDS, and multiple sclerosis (MS). Even Hypothyroidism also leads to depressed feelings. That is due to the fears besides anxiety that tend to build up over time.

What Is The Number One Cause Of MDD?

Research shows that depression does not just occur from simply having too little or too much of certain chemicals in the brain. Rather, there are many possible causes of the mental disorder including genetic vulnerability, abuse, addiction, death or loss of a loved one, conflict, medications, stressful life events, …

Promoting Family’s Mental Health During The Pandemic

At this time of the pandemic, it is vital to remain as healthy as possible, both physically and mentally.

Staying healthy as a family is rewarding because it can help you avoid unnecessary vulnerability to diseases and unexpected medical expenses. Additionally, participating in marriage counseling can strengthen your relationships and improve communication, which is particularly important during these challenging times. While maintaining physical health is necessary, having a good state of mind within the family is essential to a holistic approach to overall health, especially considering the impact of the pandemic on family’s mental health.

Parents, As The Primary Decision-Makers In The Family, Play A Crucial Role During The Pandemic.

According to research, their parental responsibilities have now become more taxing due to dealing with the new work arrangements and tight health conditions protocols in essential establishments such as the grocery store and the bank. It is important for family members to respect their health and overall well-being and prioritize their own mental health while also supporting their friends and family members who may be experiencing mental health issues.

Exploring Mental Health With Family

Learning about mental health problems together as a family can be a fulfilling and enlightening experience. It provides support and an opportunity for family members to understand and help each other better for their mental health as each others’ caregivers. By exploring the mental health of each family member, you can gain insights into family member’s mental health needs and promote open conversations about emotions and mental health.

There are numerous credible and reputable sources available online that provide free information about mental health. It is important to check the reliability of the mental health sources to ensure factual knowledge.

For more in-depth discussions about mental health, setting an appointment with a psychologist, therapy resources, mental health professional or a psychiatrist care can be beneficial for the entire family.

Ways To Cope With Stress

The pandemic has caused significant stress and has had a dramatic impact on the psychological well-being of many individuals.

Job losses, business and school closures, and the general uncertainty can lead to heightened anxiety, substance use, and other mental health problems (anxiety disorders, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.) for both adults and children within the family. Therefore, finding effective ways to cope with stress is crucial for each person.

Children should be provided with activities that stimulate their minds and bodies, as they may feel bored and anxious due to the lack of understanding about the mental illness situation. It is important to explain the pandemic to children in an age-appropriate manner to alleviate their concerned thoughts. Minimizing screen time and encouraging physical activities such as arts, crafts, reading, exercising, and gardening can contribute to their overall mental health. Paying attention to child mental health is vital, as they can be significantly affected by the challenges posed by the pandemic.

Parents also need to have a way of coping. Parents, too, need to prioritize their own mental well-being, especially at their age. Finding time to engage in activities that relax the mind, such as spending quality time with the family, cooking, working out, and pursuing hobbies, can help reduce stress. Engaging in activities together as a family not only promotes productivity but also fosters support among family members.

Prevent Unhealthy Habits

As people spend more time at home during the pandemic and maintaining a strong marriage gets harder, it becomes crucial to find new hobbies and pastimes that promote productivity and well-being. For example, hobbies can be knitting or camping. However, it is important to ensure that these activities are healthy and do not contribute to additional stress or psychological strain.

For children, it is necessary to control and set limits on their screen time and exposure to digital media. Instilling discipline in children helps prevent them from becoming too consumed by gadgets and neglecting their responsibilities. Setting boundaries and schedules can teach them the value of time and prevent excessive engagement in activities that may lead to addiction.

Adults, just like young adults, are susceptible to developing detrimental habits as a coping mechanism during the pandemic. Couples should support each other in staying away from harmful vices and addictions. By exploring new activities together as replacements for these vices, couples can distract themselves and promote healthier habits. Seeking professional health treatment should never be hesitated upon if you or your partner feel overwhelmed and unable to cope. If that happens, always consider family mental health treatment.

Supporting Each Other’s Problems

The pandemic has brought about numerous difficulties and threats to humanity. From battling the complications of the disease to facing economic crises, almost everyone is feeling the strain. To navigate through these feelings and challenging times, it is crucial for families to support each other and establish a robust support system that can positively impact their family mental health.

Whether you have a family member who is sick or someone who lost a job, be sure to support them in the best way possible.

Having a family member with health complications is one of the last things you want to happen in your family. It is debilitating to the function of family members and causes severe emotional and mental stress. But by being there for each other, it can help release the psychological stress and ease the emotional burden. You can also look for support from your relatives and social groups.

Losing a job is never easy, and it can have a profound impact on one’s self-worth, value, and the economic security of the family. If a family member is going through this challenging situation, it is crucial to be there for them, reassuring them of their value and offering hope for the future.

Having good mental health with your family will be a daunting but fulfilling task. You get to know each other’s behaviors and learn more about their emotional needs. Explore different ways to cope with the effects of the pandemic together with the family. Support one another with the struggles and health problems by showing appreciation and value to each other.

Always have hope and faith in your family members that you can make it through this pandemic. No matter how hard life will be, having a supportive family ensures that you will find a calm center in your life.

Frequently Asked Questions On Mental Health

What Is Family In Mental Health?

How Family Affects My Mental Health?

Why Is Mental Health Important In Family?

How Can I Support My Family’s Mental Health?

What Are Effective Strategies For Maintaining Good Mental Health?

Why Is Prioritizing Mental Health Crucial For Overall Well-Being?

How Can We Prevent Mental Health Problems Within The Family?

What Role Does Family Play In Mental Health Support?

How Can I Explain Mental Health

…

Today, we are faced with many stressful situations and unfamiliar circumstances brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. We are called to navigate through a new normal and change the way we spend our days mostly just stuck at home. This can be a tough time for families and marriages, and it could trigger anxiety and fear for anyone, both young and old. 

It is essential to look out for family mental health and wellness during this time. The “new normal” can leave anyone feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. So we must find ways to stay stable and positive despite all the uncertainties. Here are practical ways to nurture your family’s health and wellness during the pandemic. 

Establish A Healthy Routine At Home 

A healthy routine at home, which may include marriage counseling, is essential because it gives a sense of order amidst all the changes and adjustments that can be quite overwhelming and stressful. This way, there is somehow a continuous flow of events or activities that are predictable despite all the uncertainties the pandemic has brought about. 

For young children, routines are established for them to know what to expect in their day and eventually find rhythm and independence. During these uncertain times, this could apply to people of all ages because everyone is called to navigate through a new normal, which has changed the way we spend our days. 

Strengthen The Immune System 

A healthy immune system is needed now more than ever as we all go through this pandemic. This is our number one shield from contracting the coronavirus. The best thing you can do to fend off the unpredictable spread of the virus is by focusing on boosting your family’s immunity and health. 

Your family’s diet and eating habits are two things that can be altered right now to strengthen the immune system. Encourage your family to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, stay hydrated, take vitamins and supplements, get some sunlight, and exercise regularly. 

Regulate Screen Time 

The daily news updates about COVID-19 can be quite overwhelming and may trigger anxiety and fear. Although it is necessary to stay updated, regulating screen time and allotting time off TV news or social media is good for everyone’s mental health. This is also to help one focus on accomplishing daily tasks and responsibilities despite the turbulence, which can really take a toll on one’s productivity. 

As for kids and teenagers who may be using gadgets all day because they are just stuck at home, it is best to set boundaries and encourage them to do other activities. Discipline with screen time for every member is good for everyone physically, emotionally, and socially.

Exercise Together 

Exercising together is a simple way to bond as a family while helping each other stay fit and healthy. Doing exercise with the family is also great motivation, especially for people who do not really like exercising. This keeps your endorphins high and increases blood circulation in your brain, reducing stress and keeping your body healthy. 

Find fun and creative ways to move and break a sweat. Follow home workout videos, play backyard games and sports, ride the bike, or walk together.

Manage Conflicts Positively 

We are all facing a time of distress, and the last thing you would want is additional stress from mishandled conflicts. During this time, disagreements may typically arise because of all the overwhelming circumstances.

It is important to remember to deal with frictions as positively as possible without letting your emotions get the best of you. Respond calmly and acknowledge your feelings. Instead of reacting negatively and impulsively, take time to sort out the problem, and encourage a healthy dialogue between family members. 

Set Up Virtual Gatherings

With the help of technology and social media, staying connected with relatives and friends despite the physical distance is possible. Many might be experiencing cabin fever, so interacting virtually with people outside the home may give a sense of normalcy and connection. 

In the virtual world, it is possible to throw birthday parties, celebrate graduations and other milestones, host playdates, do simple catch-ups, and even do activities such as exercising, cooking, and playing games. Despite the need for social distancing, we must find ways to cultivate our social lives to draw comfort and a deep sense of connection.

Schedule Family Bonding Activities  

Despite everyone being busy adjusting to their new work or school home set-up and schedule, it is essential to bond as a family. Although family bonding is usually done outside of the home, there are many ways to make family bonding time at home fun and meaningful still. Here are some ideas: 

• Host a family cook-off 
• Revive old puzzles and board games  
• Schedule movie nights  
• Watch home videos 
• Look back at old pictures 
• Listen to throwback music 
• Do DIY projects together 

Take Care Of Your Well-Being 

Taking care of your well-being is just as important as looking out for your family’s health and wellness. Despite being around your whole family almost 24/7, it is essential to set aside time to rest and reset your mind and body. This is a way to help manage emotions and regulate stress. You can help other people better if you also take care of yourself. 

Final Thoughts 

According to Dr. Nel Wieman, MD, “It will be very helpful if people can stay calm, keep themselves informed, and feel in control of the measures that they can take to protect themselves and their families.” The pandemic can undoubtedly affect one’s health and wellness. Still, there are many ways to strengthen family bonds and come out stronger after this challenging time.

Life after COVID-19 may, however, look uncertain at this point. So it is vital to look out for your family and find ways to create a sense of normalcy at home while adjusting to the new normal. 

 …

The day you learn that your husband has been cheating on you with another woman all this time is perhaps the worst day you will ever go through. After all, you have promised to each other that you will be together until death befalls either of you. But due to your man’s infidelity, you may be unable to decide if you will speed things up for him or give him another chance to change.

Either way, it seems fitting to compare a cheater to the coronavirus, which has been plaguing the entire world. They are both seen as a menace, and what they have done to innocent people like you cannot be forgiven quickly. 

In case your pain is blurring the correct path that you should take, you should try the following tips that used to only apply to the coronavirus:

Isolate Yourself From Him

The coronavirus has pushed almost every world leader to place a lot of countries under lockdown. No one is supposed to cross the borders; even if you are a citizen trying to come home, you need to wait until the orders ease up. Any person who has or is suspected of having COVID-19 also need to isolate themselves for a minimum of 14 days to avoid spreading the disease.

Now, if you treat your cheating husband like a coronavirus, it entails that you must stay away from him as best as you can. Avoid letting him in if he knocks on your door; try not to answer their calls and texts. It will also be great if you stop talking to your mutual friends who may try to coax you to forgive and forget the infidelity. This way, you can contemplate your next move without getting agitated by other people.

Look For A Way To Get Rid Of Him For Good

Assuming you have had enough of your spouse’s cheating habits, congratulations are in order. You are the wife; you should never need to share your husband with anyone. If he suggests otherwise, then you have every right to remove him from your life for good.

Feeling confused about what your first step should be is understandable. Still, think about why the scientists are looking for a vaccine that will immunize everyone against the coronavirus. When you get a shot of it, the disease will no longer affect you. And what a vaccine does for coronavirus is what an adultery case or divorce does for a cheater. 

Learn How To Take Care Of Yourself 

If the coronavirus can talk, it must be spewing expletives towards healthy people. After all, it is easier for any virus to stick to unhealthy folks than the latter. Even when the coronavirus manages to get past the body’s first line of defense, the patients eventually recover and don’t suffer from too many symptoms.

Given that your cheating husband is no better than the coronavirus, seeing you doing well without them will wallop him. That is especially true for some guys who think that you have no choice but to forgive whatever they do since you can’t survive by yourself. In reality, you can build up your career, try online counseling (e.g., BetterHelp), and become financially independent. And when you start taking care of your body and mind, your spouse may regret fooling around behind your back and try to kneel at your feet.

Final Thoughts

The main question is: Will you still forgive and accept a man who has cheated on you? 

The decision is and will always be up to you. However, please do not think that taking back your cheating husband is your only option. Like a coronavirus, his cheating habits can surface anytime, considering that he has already had a taste for it.

Be wise and keep your heart, mind, and body safe. Good luck!…

My marriage has been on the rocks since the past year. There was no third party involved; neither my wife nor I had troubling behaviors or addictions. Our primary problem was that our work schedules had not been matching up, and we seldom saw each other at home.

You see, I run a restaurant downtown from 6 P.M. up to 2 A.M. My wife, on the other hand, is a marketing executive whose job requires her to work overtime often. Sometimes, she would come to the restaurant to say hi to me. Other times, I would stay at home until she’s back. But we both got too busy at the same time, and no one seemed to want to give up career opportunities in favor of the marriage.

Fast forward to 2020, my news about the coronavirus outbreak reached our radar. Our city—New York—turned out to have the highest number of infected individuals. I had to close my restaurant when the governor issued a lockdown. My wife’s office had to shut down, too. All of a sudden, we found ourselves at home together after a long time.
And it felt incredible. Without a doubt, the lockdown has saved my marriage. Here’s how.

We Have Endless Hours To Talk

The primary issue that we had had as a couple is the fact that we cannot sit down and hash things out. When I have time to talk, my wife is either busy or fast asleep. I am mostly in a similar state when she is ready for a conversation. The result is that we end up chatting about who will go out to pay the bills and get groceries.

The lockdown, however, has given us plenty of time to talk. I remember us having dinner, and I open the conversation with a simple “How are you?”. It has opened the floodgate of emotions for us, and we talk nonstop nowadays.

We Can Do Everything Together

Before the quarantine, it has felt like we are doing things like a tag team. When one is out, the other has to do the chores. It is a give-and-take situation, but our routine has become no different from that of regular roommates.

Ever since the lockdown has been issued, we do everything as a team. The other day, we cleaned the house together. When we did the laundry, my wife was in charge of the first rotation while I did the second one. Yesterday, we went grocery shopping. Not only did it make such activities fun and almost effortless, but it improved our dynamics as a married couple.

Our Sexual Relationship Has Been Rekindled

As troubling as it may sound, my wife and I have not had sex ever since we became swamped with work. We still slept in the same bed every night, but I would pass out instantly when my back hits the mattress. Meanwhile, my wife had to get ready for work early, and she would be gone every time I woke up.

This lack of sexual relationship only stopped when we got quarantined together. After fixing our communication issues, it was as if we were at the honeymoon stage again.

Final Thoughts

I am fully aware as to why the lockdown is hard for many people. It has negatively affected my business, too, and I hope that it will end soon. However, I cannot deny that it is a blessing in disguise for my failing marriage. Now, even when the governor lifts the quarantine, I believe that my wife and I will be able to work around each other’s schedules better than ever.

Stay at home, guys!…

 

What is the concept of marriage? As far as I can remember, when I married my husband, the vow was to be united and become one with him, to be true and to be intimate only to him. However, it seems some couples want to make their vows AFTER their marriage because they think it will make things better. To stop the arguments and infidelity issues, they decide to go into an open marriage. But can it possibly resolve anything? Can it save a distressed marriage?

“A marriage is only as strong as the two individuals. A great marriage – not just a good one – is one where each man does his own inner work and supports his husband to do the same.” — Mark O’Connell LCSW-R

In actuality, the idea of an open marriage is not as new as we think it is. This type of relationship has been seen years back, although not as prevalent as now. The increasing number of couples who want to try an open marriage maybe because as infidelity heightens, couples want to justify their actions and would rather find a reason to save the marriage than resolve the matter. If the intimacy is gone between the couples, then perhaps an open relationship would solve it, as this is only a sex issue. But would it work?

The most deafening answer is NO. It won’t help strengthen a marriage, nor does it encourage honesty in the relationship. Here are a few reasons why.

• Rules Don’t Equal Real Emotions. When a spouse cheats and tells his partner that he loves her no matter what, they think that their love and trust for each other sill encompass anything, which is why some of them are willing to permit others to ‘join’ the union temporarily, just to fill in what’s lacking in the marriage. But we all know it’s easier said than done. Remember that emotions don’t mind the rules. If a spouse sees another to fill in the gaps, the rule here is, of course, to not get emotionally involved. Eventually, he gets attracted at a deeper level; the rules will be so much harder to follow. Instead of helping the marriage, the only thing it will do is to worsen it.

“Needs vs. wants—it’s not just semantics.” — Catherine Aponte Psy.D.

• Jealousy Is Inevitable. Envy is one of the things that an open relationship wants to avoid. If the couple says, they truly love each other, letting another person in the relationship will not cause any jealousy – or at least that’s the rule. But humans are innately possessive, especially when it comes to things and people we love. No matter how modern or open-minded you think you are, it won’t be easy to acknowledge that you are sharing your spouse to another – your lifetime partner and father of your kids. If you are not at all affected by it, though, you might want to assess your feelings towards your spouse. Perhaps they’ve gotten cold because of what you’ve been through.

• Self-esteem Will Absolutely Suffer. Having friends and significant others is an important part of one’s life simply because you can’t find everything in one person. But when your spouse talks you out of wanting to connect with another physically or intimately apparently to ‘save the marriage,’ and you reluctantly agree, it will slowly devour you and your self-esteem. You start to wonder why he asked for it in the first place, and then you think that you are not enough for your spouse. To solve this, you may seek attention from others and will push you to see others as well. The vicious cycle continues and will ultimately destroy the marriage.

Final Thoughts

If you and your partner are considering open marriage, perhaps you should think twice or thrice before doing so. It might look like a promising solution to your marriage problems, but then again, it may only be a temporary mask to the real issue at hand. It might even add more insult to the injury that your marriage has already gone through.

“Accepting concepts that have been considered blasphemous by some in our culture—like making it okay to marry for money, having term limits, or opening our minds to open marriage—would make marriage more practical and realistic.” — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

 

 

 …