Treating Your Cheating Husband Like A Coronavirus

The day you learn that your husband has been cheating on you with another woman all this time is perhaps the worst day you will ever go through. After all, you have promised to each other that you will be together until death befalls either of you. But due to your man’s infidelity, you may be unable to decide if you will speed things up for him or give him another chance to change.

Either way, it seems fitting to compare a cheater to the coronavirus, which has been plaguing the entire world. They are both seen as a menace, and what they have done to innocent people like you cannot be forgiven quickly. 

In case your pain is blurring the correct path that you should take, you should try the following tips that used to only apply to the coronavirus:

Isolate Yourself From Him

The coronavirus has pushed almost every world leader to place a lot of countries under lockdown. No one is supposed to cross the borders; even if you are a citizen trying to come home, you need to wait until the orders ease up. Any person who has or is suspected of having COVID-19 also need to isolate themselves for a minimum of 14 days to avoid spreading the disease.

Now, if you treat your cheating husband like a coronavirus, it entails that you must stay away from him as best as you can. Avoid letting him in if he knocks on your door; try not to answer their calls and texts. It will also be great if you stop talking to your mutual friends who may try to coax you to forgive and forget the infidelity. This way, you can contemplate your next move without getting agitated by other people.

Look For A Way To Get Rid Of Him For Good

Assuming you have had enough of your spouse’s cheating habits, congratulations are in order. You are the wife; you should never need to share your husband with anyone. If he suggests otherwise, then you have every right to remove him from your life for good.

Feeling confused about what your first step should be is understandable. Still, think about why the scientists are looking for a vaccine that will immunize everyone against the coronavirus. When you get a shot of it, the disease will no longer affect you. And what a vaccine does for coronavirus is what an adultery case or divorce does for a cheater. 

Learn How To Take Care Of Yourself 

If the coronavirus can talk, it must be spewing expletives towards healthy people. After all, it is easier for any virus to stick to unhealthy folks than the latter. Even when the coronavirus manages to get past the body’s first line of defense, the patients eventually recover and don’t suffer from too many symptoms.

Given that your cheating husband is no better than the coronavirus seeing you doing well without them will wallop him. That is especially true for some guys who think that you have no choice but to forgive whatever they do since you can’t survive by yourself. When you start taking care of your body and mind, your spouse may regret fooling around behind your back and try to kneel at your feet.

Final Thoughts

The main question is: Will you still forgive and accept a man who has cheated on you? 

The decision is and will always be up to you. However, please do not think that taking back your cheating husband is your only option. Like a coronavirus, his cheating habits can surface anytime, considering that he has already had a taste for it.

Be wise and keep your heart, mind, and body safe. Good luck!

How The Lockdown Saved My Marriage

My marriage has been on the rocks since the past year. There was no third party involved; neither my wife nor I had troubling behaviors or addictions. Our primary problem was that our work schedules had not been matching up, and we seldom saw each other at home.

You see, I run a restaurant downtown from 6 P.M. up to 2 A.M. My wife, on the other hand, is a marketing executive whose job requires her to work overtime often. Sometimes, she would come to the restaurant to say hi to me. Other times, I would stay at home until she’s back. But we both got too busy at the same time, and no one seemed to want to give up career opportunities in favor of the marriage.

Fast forward to 2020, my news about the coronavirus outbreak reached our radar. Our city—New York—turned out to have the highest number of infected individuals. I had to close my restaurant when the governor issued a lockdown. My wife’s office had to shut down, too. All of a sudden, we found ourselves at home together after a long time.
And it felt incredible. Without a doubt, the lockdown has saved my marriage. Here’s how.

We Have Endless Hours To Talk

The primary issue that we had had as a couple is the fact that we cannot sit down and hash things out. When I have time to talk, my wife is either busy or fast asleep. I am mostly in a similar state when she is ready for a conversation. The result is that we end up chatting about who will go out to pay the bills and get groceries.

The lockdown, however, has given us plenty of time to talk. I remember us having dinner, and I open the conversation with a simple “How are you?”. It has opened the floodgate of emotions for us, and we talk nonstop nowadays.

We Can Do Everything Together

Before the quarantine, it has felt like we are doing things like a tag team. When one is out, the other has to do the chores. It is a give-and-take situation, but our routine has become no different from that of regular roommates.

Ever since the lockdown has been issued, we do everything as a team. The other day, we cleaned the house together. When we did the laundry, my wife was in charge of the first rotation while I did the second one. Yesterday, we went grocery shopping. Not only did it make such activities fun and almost effortless, but it improved our dynamics as a married couple.

Our Sexual Relationship Has Been Rekindled

As troubling as it may sound, my wife and I have not had sex ever since we became swamped with work. We still slept in the same bed every night, but I would pass out instantly when my back hits the mattress. Meanwhile, my wife had to get ready for work early, and she would be gone every time I woke up.

This lack of sexual relationship only stopped when we got quarantined together. After fixing our communication issues, it was as if we were at the honeymoon stage again.

Final Thoughts

I am fully aware as to why the lockdown is hard for many people. It has negatively affected my business, too, and I hope that it will end soon. However, I cannot deny that it is a blessing in disguise for my failing marriage. Now, even when the governor lifts the quarantine, I believe that my wife and I will be able to work around each other’s schedules better than ever.

Stay at home, guys!…

Does An Open Marriage Really Work?

 

What is the concept of marriage? As far as I can remember, when I married my husband, the vow was to be united and become one with him, to be true and to be intimate only to him. However, it seems some couples want to make their vows AFTER their marriage because they think it will make things better. To stop the arguments and infidelity issues, they decide to go into an open marriage. But can it possibly resolve anything? Can it save a distressed marriage?

“A marriage is only as strong as the two individuals. A great marriage – not just a good one – is one where each man does his own inner work and supports his husband to do the same.” — Mark O’Connell LCSW-R

In actuality, the idea of an open marriage is not as new as we think it is. This type of relationship has been seen years back, although not as prevalent as now. The increasing number of couples who want to try an open marriage maybe because as infidelity heightens, couples want to justify their actions and would rather find a reason to save the marriage than resolve the matter. If the intimacy is gone between the couples, then perhaps an open relationship would solve it, as this is only a sex issue. But would it work?

The most deafening answer is NO. It won’t help strengthen a marriage, nor does it encourage honesty in the relationship. Here are a few reasons why.

  • Rules Don’t Equal Real Emotions. When a spouse cheats and tells his partner that he loves her no matter what, they think that their love and trust for each other sill encompass anything, which is why some of them are willing to permit others to ‘join’ the union temporarily, just to fill in what’s lacking in the marriage. But we all know it’s easier said than done. Remember that emotions don’t mind the rules. If a spouse sees another to fill in the gaps, the rule here is, of course, to not get emotionally involved. Eventually, he gets attracted at a deeper level; the rules will be so much harder to follow. Instead of helping the marriage, the only thing it will do is to worsen it.

“Needs vs. wants—it’s not just semantics.” — Catherine Aponte Psy.D.

  • Jealousy Is Inevitable. Envy is one of the things that an open relationship wants to avoid. If the couple says, they truly love each other, letting another person in the relationship will not cause any jealousy – or at least that’s the rule. But humans are innately possessive, especially when it comes to things and people we love. No matter how modern or open-minded you think you are, it won’t be easy to acknowledge that you are sharing your spouse to another – your lifetime partner and father of your kids. If you are not at all affected by it, though, you might want to assess your feelings towards your spouse. Perhaps they’ve gotten cold because of what you’ve been through.
  • Self-esteem Will Absolutely Suffer. Having friends and significant others is an important part of one’s life simply because you can’t find everything in one person. But when your spouse talks you out of wanting to connect with another physically or intimately apparently to ‘save the marriage,’ and you reluctantly agree, it will slowly devour you and your self-esteem. You start to wonder why he asked for it in the first place, and then you think that you are not enough for your spouse. To solve this, you may seek attention from others and will push you to see others as well. The vicious cycle continues and will ultimately destroy the marriage.

Final Thoughts

If you and your partner are considering open marriage, perhaps you should think twice or thrice before doing so. It might look like a promising solution to your marriage problems, but then again, it may only be a temporary mask to the real issue at hand. It might even add more insult to the injury that your marriage has already gone through.

“Accepting concepts that have been considered blasphemous by some in our culture—like making it okay to marry for money, having term limits, or opening our minds to open marriage—would make marriage more practical and realistic.” — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

 

 

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10 Ways to Help Yourself When Your Spouse Has Depression

 

Loving someone with mental illness is one of the most challenging experiences a person can have. — Seth Meyers Psy.D.

If your spouse has depression, it is highly likely that you are in for an emotional ride that will be very difficult to handle. You will feel helpless and you will also feel like breaking, but it is important to keep your cool while you work on yourself and your relationship. Remember, you married your spouse “for better or for worse”. You need to remember that.

 

Anyway, here are 10 ways that will help you in this challenging ride.…

The Wrong Things To Say In Every Marriage

No matter how perfect a relationship is, there will always come a time when so many things challenge it. Sometimes, even the little lies can cause a marriage to crumble down. As such, it is important for married couples to be honest with each other all the time. Both the husband and wife must learn how to communicate correctly. Whenever each spouse needs to say something, the other spouse must be willing to listen. At the same time, each partner must be understanding and patient when it comes to dealing with the issues of the marriage.

What do you do when you feel that the love you once shared with your mate has disappeared, with no apparent possibility of revival, but you adore your children and can’t imagine spending even one day apart from them? — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

Indeed, there are so many things that can stir turmoil in a marriage. A single statement or remark may lead to the end of marriage. When combined with other factors, it can result in the divorce of the spouses. To avoid this from happening, make sure that you do not lie about these matters:

“I no longer love my partner.”

The worst thing that can happen in any marriage is when one spouse loses love for the other. This is truly heartbreaking, not only for the couple but also for the children involved. Therefore, before you utter these words, make sure that you know what you are talking about. Avoid telling your husband or wife that you do not love him or her anymore when in fact, you are not sure of your emotions.

Always keep in mind that loving someone is still a choice. During the difficult times in your marriage, start thinking of all the happy things that happened during the marital union. The good ones will always outweigh the bad ones. You have the choice to fight for the marriage and renew the marriage vow.

Refrain from joking about marriage, neither yours nor anybody else’s. It’s destructive. — Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.

“I made a mistake in marrying the wrong person.”

The longer you stay in the marriage, the more you will see pass through a person. You may start to realize that the person you married years ago has changed a lot. Sometimes, you may even feel that you no longer know your husband or wife. Remember that there are so many ways to making things work for the better. As long you find it in your heart to try to work things out, then things will fall back to its right places. You can start by knowing the heart’s desires of your partner.

“My children will understand if we get a divorce.”

When a marriage ends up in divorce, the parties that will be affected include not only the spouses but also their children. This is the reason why it is significant for a couple to talk about things before making a decision. They have to consider not only their feelings but also the emotions of the kids. It can genuinely be heartbreaking for a happy marriage to end up in separation simply. Imagine how your son or daughter would feel about the break-up. A recent study shows that children who grow up in a broken family are more likely to become rebellious compared to those who have a complete family.

Our parents’ relationship leaves an emotional imprint on us that never fades. — Sean Grover L.C.S.W.

How to Keep the Passion Alive

Staying in indecision—regardless of what the indecision is about—is draining. But leaving is hard. — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

The couple who are in a long term relationship can all relate that at the beginning of a relationship, there are the so called butterflies and sparks coming out of nowhere. Everything was blissful and beautiful between you and your partner. But as the years go by, or maybe even decades, that spark and excitement will eventually fizzle out. That is perfectly normal actually, all kinds of relationships will go through that stage. But as they say ” Marriage is hard work between two people who refuse to give up on each other”.…

How To Heal A Marriage After Infidelity

 

There are many challenges that couples face in their marriage, infidelity being one of the most devastating. When your spouse cheats on you, you would feel angry, betrayed, hurt, and in despair. The broken trust is very difficult to restore and the damage that you feel will seem irreparable. But if your husband has ended the affair and is committed to saving your marriage, he must also be willing to initiate the first step of reconciliation by being remorseful and honest about his infidelity and should be ready to tell you everything. Studies suggest that more marriages are saved when the unfaithful partner opens up about the affair.

If your relationship has hit a rocky patch, confronting the issues now could transform your marriage — and save it from destruction in the future. — April Eldemire LMFT

As for the aggrieved – you – your marriage can only be saved if you also agree to try and fix things with you and your husband. Forgiving takes time, as does the healing. You will go through a process that may have several roadblocks along the way, but if you are both in it to save it, your marriage has a chance.…

Marrying Young And Keeping It Together Forever

On some level, we all have doubts about having a wedding, regardless of our gender or sexual orientation. — Mark O’Connell LCSW-R

In the past, there have been proven reports of couples getting divorced after marrying at a young age. Immaturity, unexpected pregnancy in women, infidelity and impulsiveness are some of the top reasons for couples to marry young. In fact, divorces rates are down to 50% in age groups above 25 years old, wherein couples are usually stable emotionally and financially.

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