Expectations in Marriage

Married couples should equally be as apprehensive as they are excited about their life together for many years to come. Many of the failures of long-time relationships can be attributed to combinations of factors, such as the employment status of spouse, their income level, among others.

Marriage failure can also be largely due to unmet expectations. Here are some of the expectations that you should be wary of when you want to keep track of the health of your partnership.

If you don’t enjoy looking into a mirror and seeing “A Cheat”, don’t put yourself in the position of looking into a sweetheart’s eyes and seeing “A Cheat” reflected. — Isadora Alman MFT, CST

Expectations of Faithfulness

It is always expected that, as a couple, you both have to be faithful at all times. However, there are times when you will feel that your partner might not be doing their best to keep up with their promise.

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You should always determine the level of faithfulness of your partner by knowing what they are doing on a daily basis. But, you should not constrain their movements and their overall freedom. Doing so might make them feel leashed to the relationship. It might be a general rule to trust your guts in all situations. However, solely trusting your instincts will not help the relationship at all.


Expectations of Daily Happiness

It is also not a secret that any married couple expects to have a ‘happy ever after’ right after their marriage. After all, entering the church and saying vows of forever seem to be the ending of any wonderful fairy tale. All you have in mind is that you are getting married with the person that you love the most. Moreover, every day will feel heaven from this point onwards.

People in unfaithful relationships can be miserable and hopeless, trapped in the sadness of sacrificing themselves. — Suzanne Lachmann Psy.D.

However, that should not be the case. Being in a pact of a lifetime will prove to be more difficult than it seems. You will face the difficulties of raising children and the hardships of maintaining the household economy, among others. Some weakly-bonded couples have collapsed under such pressures because it was not what they expected.

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Expectations of Constant Communication

People who have been with each other for too long knows the importance of open communication. It might be in many various forms. They might be communicating about their love for one another. They might also be talking about the many crises that they are currently facing.


Having a constant open communication provides an avenue for the two persons in a marriage to deal with things as one entity. Having a partner means having someone to be with you to face every possible challenge that will come to the household. However, failure of one person to open up does not have to mean that the other one should stop trying. Keep pushing for communication line to be open in order to keep the relationship as healthy as possible.


Expectations of Intensity of Intimacy

As the relationship itself, intimacy is ever-fading. Many couples expect their level of intimacy from their first days to be the same as their remaining days together.

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Some couples perceive love with the level of intimacy of their partner at any point of time in their relationship. It should not be the case. Intimacy will surely be decreasing as couples become busier with their family lives. What should have a constant intensity is the level of understanding with one another regarding this phenomenon.

Marriage is work, and the toil can be a downright drag. — Linda Esposito LCSW

Couples who properly note these expectations will be more prepared when difficulties come their way. As a partner, you should make it a habit to make your spouse open up about their expectations. It might save your relationship even at its early stages.