Every relationship has highs and lows, but when you are continually questioning the relationship, these ups and downs are more profound. — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.
This is probably one of the toughest problems in life and in marriage. In this case, not only does addiction have a negative impact on the partner, but also the kids, other family members, work and their own personal health and well-being. This is also another major reason for couples getting divorced. During this time, you need to be the pillar of strength. We know that it is difficult. It is also important that you do not blame yourself or feel responsible for your partner’s addiction. Rather, work on finding a solution and working on the matter at hand. Addiction is not a problem that can’t be treated and it’s not lifelong either. It can be worked on and your marriage can be saved. There are married couples out there who have survived addiction and they are now thriving and living happy, clean married lives. Here’s what you can do to help your partner overcome their addiction:
If Your Partner is Aggressive:
Alcohol and other substances usually make a person aggressive and violent. If this has been happening with your partner, you should consider moving out temporarily. Living with an aggressive partner is not only dangerous for you, but it’s also an unhealthy environment for your kids. Move out temporarily while you find a solution to help your partner. Also, remember not to take their behavior personally, after all its addiction that makes them this way. As hurtful as it is, you need to be strong.
He realized that despite often feeling quite moved by what happened in group, he never shared any of what he discovered with his wife. — Carrie Askin LCSW
Educate Yourself About Addiction:
It is very easy to educate yourself about addiction. Try and find out from your partner which substances they are addicted to and then research it. You can gather information through various methods replace with ‘like’ Googling it or going to the nearest rehabilitation center. By doing this, you will understand your partner’s behavioral patterns and their psychological state.
Be Patient:
Again, this is also something that isn’t easy. However, the only way to get through this rough patch is to cultivate patience. It might take some time for your partner to recover from addiction. Therefore, patience is something that the two of you will need to work on your marriage.
Talk to Your Partner About Their Addiction:
Conversations about a partner’s addiction can be quite uncomfortable. Try not to blame your partner or judge them, as this will worsen the situation. Speak calmly and offer support to your loved one. However, don’t confuse support with covering up for the addiction. Don’t cover up for them in front of family members and at their workplace.
Make Some Time for Yourself:
You are doing the right thing by helping your partner and by offering your support. However, don’t neglect yourself in the process. You also need time for yourself. Take a little time off every now and then to do the things that you enjoy.
Reinstate your power, reflect on what you need and expect, define rules and boundaries while inviting your partner to do the same. — Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.
Get Your Partner Admitted into a Rehab Center:
Start searching for rehabs that can help your partner. Rehabs usually have different programs and most of them also design a special program to meet the patient’s specific needs. Once you have gathered enough information, start comparing them and determine which one would be the best fit for your partner. Get testimonials from previous patients and go visit the center before checking your partner in. Also, inquire about payments and insurance.
While Your Partner is in Rehab:
This is the first step to your partner’s journey to recovery. Be supportive, go visit during visiting hours, buy them gifts, and give them lots of encouragement.
After Rehab:
Once your partner has completed their rehab program, you can now both start a new chapter in life. However, it’s important that your partner seeks aftercare treatment. Most rehabs do offer this. This will help them to remain sober. You should also educate yourself about relapse and relapse triggers to avoid your partner from going back to addiction.