Sex plays a huge role in an intimate relationship. It is a human’s way of expressing their intimate emotions to their respective partners. However, there comes a point in most couple’s lives wherein the intimacy spell fades out, leaving the relationship utterly sexless. This issue, of course, affects not just the physical contact between the couple but their relationship as well.
“Having a sexless marriage can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.” — Lisa Thomas LMFT
How Does Lack Of Intimacy Affect Both Partners?
For men, intimacy issue is a big problem. It can lead to heightened frustration, anxiety and even trigger insecurities. It can put considerable damage in their self-perception. Between a man and a woman, the man is more sexual. Thus, this is a big issue for them.
For women, intimacy problem is also a dilemma. But the impact is not as profound as that of men. Women can divert their sexual urges to simple emotional connections with their partners and be contented with it.
Can A Sexless Marriage Survive?
Every married couple is unique. There is a significant number of marriages that have overcome sexless relationships and remain married to each other. They are still together due to culture, duty, religion, and obligation. In some cultures, they believe that marriage is more than just sex and that is why they choose to be together than be overwhelmed with physical problems.
How Does One Cope In A Marriage Without Sex?
Intimacy drops and rises. There will come to a point in one’s life wherein sex life becomes a chore and later on becomes stagnant. But there’s always hope in every situation. People have different ways of coping with this type of situation.
“Couples in sexless marriages offer the Anti-Magi gift; they figure out what the other most desires and withhold it.” — Laurie J Watson LMFT, LPC
Tips To Fix A Sexless Marriage
Just like any other issue, sexless marriage can be fixed. However, effort should be exerted in both parties. Below are some tips to rekindle back the fire into your sex life:
- Determine the factor that gets you and your partner into that situation.
- Have an open conversation with your partner.
- Don’t play the blame game. Instead, ascertain what you have contributed to the issue.
- Control your temper.
- Make a goal that you and your partner will fix the intimacy problem.
- Start with the primary physical contacts like holding of hands, etc.
- Tell your partner how you miss him whenever you are apart from each other.
- Do things together – talk, be in each other’s arms while watching a movie, etc.
- Make yourself attractive to your partner. Get fit and maintain a healthy physique.
- Do not complain too much, nag, or be too clingy.
- Share your fantasies with your partner, whether they are sexual or not.
- Leave old issues, bitterness, resentments, and unpleasant memories behind. Treat your partner with love, affection, and kindness.
- Forgive your partner for his shortcomings.
- Make an effort in serving your partner.
- Be adventurous, experiment some sex games.
- In every success, celebrate.
- Have time to get involved in marriage or couple retreats.
- Spend holidays and weekends with lots of memories and fun things to do.
- Recall the times when you both were so into each other. Bring that passion back to present times.
If you need more guidance or if you feel that nothing works, seek professional help. Intimacy problems can be resolved. However, it requires the two of you to be involved. Be optimistic and work hand-in-hand with your partner. These problems can be resolved if there is love.
“Physical intimacy cannot be resolved without emotional intimacy, so take the courageous step and voice your concerns either to your spouse or a trained professional.” — Sam Louie MA, LMHC