Married Life And Lies (Work On Yourself Through Online Counseling)

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Is grass always greener on the other side? Do we believe that our relatives and friends have a better life? We always assume that a financially wealthy friend or relative has it all – money, career, family, and love. Are we that blind? Is it too shallow for us to equate a lot of dollars in one’s bank account as real-life joy? Well, it’s not always like that. Money can buy temporary happiness, but it’s not long-lasting.

Lies Cover Up Your Real Feelings

I met Sally and Dick when we moved to their neighborhood a few years back. They have three kids, all grown up, but they had a weird setup. All of their adult children live with them, and each had a spouse. I think it’s because of their culture and traditions – they’re Filipino, and from what I’ve heard, Filipinos are clannish, and the parents are often enablers. They think it’s their responsibility to support their 25-year-old son whose wife just gave birth.

“Typically, a one-time sexual encounter is not as devastating as repeated infidelities or a long-term affair.” — Robert Weiss Ph.D., MSW

It’s not for me to judge them, but yes, Sally and Dick are rich. They can afford to feed 15 people every day, but is this a life one must lead? Do they have to pay for everyone and everything in the household? I saw Sally cry her eyes out last year, and I overheard her talking with her sister on the phone. While she loved her children very much, she wishes for them to be independent and strive on their own. I also know for a fact that Dick is having an affair. Well, it’s not a “mistress,” and it’s a “master” since Dick is a closeted gay man.

They look happy on the outside, but they’re keeping secrets from each other. Dick is gay, and Sally didn’t want to take care of their grown-up kids. I mean, what else are they hiding? How can one be genuinely contented in a life enveloped with lies?

When Things Are Not What It Seems

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Here are Kaye and Miller. They seem like the best couple ever for being married almost 25 years. From what Miller said, they started young and tied the knot at 19. The couple has six children, (oh, they’ve been busy), and their business is booming.

The house is perfect. No chair out of place and everything else is in order. What’s more, Miller would continuously post pics of Kaye and the kids on social media – saying how much he loves his wife and that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Who wouldn’t melt with that statement of “love,” right?

“Among couples today, cybersex and Internet infidelity are leading causes of divorce.” — Samantha Smithstein Psy.D.

I was so wrong. One day, while I was in their home waiting for Kaye, Miller pinned me on the wall. He thought my comments of “You look so happy!” or “I’m totally jealous!” on his social media posts meant that “I want him.” It’s so absurd. How can he love his wife when he preys on every woman that provides harmless comments on his Instagram, Facebook or Twitter? I’m pretty sure there are others, and Mike is a God in physical appearance. Some women may not be as principled as me. Oh, poor Kaye! And she always asks me if I saw Mike’s flavor of the month. Kaye knows!

Work On Yourself, Don’t Let Lies Ruin You As A Person

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I find all of it disturbing. You can assume that another person’s life is so much better than yours just because they have money, nice cars, big houses, and expensive things. You’ll only realize the actual deal when you’re there. I think what I’m trying to say here is that there’s no perfect life. Money can’t afford you a beautiful marriage. It has to be you. You need to make an effort to make the grass greener on your side of the fence.

“Forgiveness may come eventually, but forgetting never does. The marriage is changed forever, innocence and dreams lost.” — Michele Weiner-Davis LCSW

If you forget the values, principles, and morals in life, then where will you be? Can you be a cheater forever? Will you be able to hide your sexuality ‘til the end? Do you believe that you can continuously push back your real feelings? You can’t. That’s why you have to be honest to yourself if you want to experience real happiness in life.

(Keeping everything bottled up can cause so much mental damage, and if you’re at that point right now, you may benefit from online counseling.)