On some level, we all have doubts about having a wedding, regardless of our gender or sexual orientation. — Mark O’Connell LCSW-R
In the past, there have been proven reports of couples getting divorced after marrying at a young age. Immaturity, unexpected pregnancy in women, infidelity and impulsiveness are some of the top reasons for couples to marry young. In fact, divorces rates are down to 50% in age groups above 25 years old, wherein couples are usually stable emotionally and financially.
Although a majority of the research studies suggest that marrying young is undesirable, there are married couples today who vouch that they have no regrets about their decision to tie the knot at an early age. According to them, one factor that has kept them together is, in fact, their familiarity with each other. They have learned through the years to treasure the good things they have and deal with the issues that may destroy their togetherness, and they have been successful in doing so. Most of them also enjoy the bond that they share with their kids, who are generally more than just a decade younger than them.
Too much anger, resentment, or guilt can make anyone tired and weary. This kind of emotional fatigue, if not attended to lovingly or professionally, can create the numbing response. — Karen Kleiman MSW, LCSW
Are you one of those who are planning to get married young? If you are, then here are some tips from successful couples that married young and kept it together until now.
How To Keep It Together
- Think of the things you have in common. Research has it that those who marry in their 20s usually have more in common than those who tie the knot at the age of 30 and above. This is because at this young age, you meet someone in college where you are usually doing what most students are doing – joining clubs, going to parties, attending a course you like. It’s more likely that you would get to meet and date someone who shares the same interests as you.
- Talking is an old but very effective way of communicating. Just because new technology has made communication more accessible by texting or calling, more couples still prefer to spare enough time to talk about how their day went, the latest trends and issues, and even about what each of them wanted to keep in the fridge! Divorced individuals revealed that they failed to communicate even the smallest things with their partners, like their household obligations or the time they’re supposed to come home from work. Keeping in touch through simple conversations are what avoids small arguments from getting out of hand.
- Show your love and gratitude everyday. The failure of some married couples who married young was due to an inconsistency of expressing their love – or that they have lost their spark for each other. Some also admitted that they got so preoccupied with work that they have set aside their partners and eventually became estranged.
Making each other special despite the years of togetherness always ignites a fire between couples. One should also remember to show appreciation for each other even just for simple things. Gratitude fuels motivation, and when couples are motivated to do good to keep a marriage going, the outcome is overwhelmingly successful. Ultimately, all marriages need time, love, and care, and the effort of both husband and wife, because truly ‘it takes two to tango.’
Having conducted couples therapy with many women and men over the years, I see how beneficial it is for couples to deal with problems early – before they morph into gigantic barricades that destroy any hope for resolution. — Seth Meyers Psy.D.