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Navigating Resolution Of Marriage Conflict

Imagine matrimony as a dance where both partners move to the rhythm of life’s ups and downs because of conflict, and they resolve these through conflict resolution. Like any intricate dance, missteps are inevitable.

This leads to disagreements that can range from minor disagreements to complex issues. However, these disagreements, when approached with empathy, understanding, and effective strategies, can transform into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

In this article, we will delve into the heart of matrimonial disagreements, exploring their common causes and unraveling the threads of effective communication and resolution strategies. So, let’s embark on this enlightening journey together, learning how to turn discord into harmony in the beautiful dance of matrimony.

Causes Of Marital Problems

Matrimony, a union of not just two individuals but also of their beliefs, habits, and aspirations, often encounters its fair share of disagreements. Resolving disagreements is crucial for a healthy and lasting relationship.

Financial Issues

Money, often referred to as the root of many matrimonial disagreements, can create significant stress. Differences with the other partner in spending habits, income levels, or financial goals can lead to recurring arguments. Factors that can further exacerbate these disagreements include:

  • The stress of debt can cause marriage conflict
  • The management of joint expenses can lead to marriage conflict
  • Differing financial priorities also cause marriage conflict

It’s crucial for couples to understand their partner’s viewpoint. Having open and honest discussions about finances is essential for finding common ground.

Communication Breakdown

At the heart of many marital issues lies a communication breakdown, causing an inability to handle disagreements. This can manifest as misunderstandings, assumptions, and unmet expectations — all of which can end a happy marriage.

When partners fail to express their needs, feelings, or concerns effectively, it can lead to resentment and frustration. Poor communication can turn minor issues into major disagreements, making it essential for partners to learn and practice effective communication skills.

Parenting Style Differences

Parenting is a significant aspect of matrimonial life, and differing parenting styles can make one or the other partner feel frustrated, creating a major source of disagreements. Disagreements over discipline, education choices, and general upbringing approaches can create tension. Couples need to understand that finding a unified approach to parenting requires patience, discussion, and sometimes, compromise.

No Quality Time

In today’s fast-paced world, couples often struggle to find quality time together. This lack of shared experiences and emotional connection can lead to feelings of neglect or loneliness, fueling marriage discord.

Find a time when you can focus on each other. Making an effort to prioritize time together can help mitigate this issue, whether it’s through:

  • Date nights for resolution of marriage conflict
  • Shared hobbies for resolution of marriage conflict
  • Simple daily rituals for resolution of marriage conflict

Effective Communication Resolutions: Key To Resolving Matrimonial Disagreements

These effective communication techniques can help you transform disagreements into constructive conversations, fostering a deeper understanding and stronger bond in your marriage.

Active Listening Techniques

The cornerstone of effective communication in marriage is active listening. This involves fully concentrating on what your partner is saying, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. It means listening to understand, not just to reply. Active listening helps in resolving disputes in matrimony by validating your partner’s feelings and showing that you value their perspective.

Expressing Feelings Appropriately

It’s not just about what you say but how you say it. There’s nothing wrong with how you feel, but it’s important to express feelings in a way that is clear, honest, and respectful to prevent misunderstandings and keep the peace. Avoid accusatory language and ‘you’ statements that can make your spouse go on the defensive. Instead, use ‘I’ statements to express how you feel about specific situations.

Communication isn’t just verbal. Nonverbal cues like body language, eye contact, and tone of voice play a significant role in how messages are received. Positive nonverbal communication can help convey empathy and understanding, while negative cues like rolling eyes or crossed arms can escalate disputes.

In heated moments, it’s also important to have strategies to de-escalate the situation. This might include taking a short break to cool down, using humor (when appropriate), or simply acknowledging that the discussion is becoming too heated and agreeing to revisit the topic later.

Before responding to your partner, ask for clarification to avoid misunderstandings. This shows that you are paying attention and are genuinely interested in understanding their viewpoint.

Conflict Strategies

Couples can certainly learn to handle disagreements more effectively, leading to healthier, more understanding, and more supportive marriage. To achieve this, the following dispute resolution strategies can help:

1. Compromise And Negotiation

The essence of dispute resolution in marriage often lies in the ability to compromise and negotiate — remember, your lives are forever intertwined now. This strategy involves both partners expressing their needs and working together to find a mutually acceptable solution instead of spoiling a fight.

Compromise doesn’t mean one person always gives in; instead, it’s about finding a balance where both partners feel their needs are respected and met. Negotiation is a skill that can be developed with practice, focusing on win-win solutions rather than a zero-sum game.

2. Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes, people in relationships may find it challenging to resolve disputes on their own. In such situations, getting professional help from a therapist or marriage counselor can be beneficial. These professionals can:

  • Provide a neutral perspective
  • Teach effective communication and conflict-resolution skills
  • Help couples understand the underlying issues in their relationship

Therapy can be a safe space for both partners to express their feelings and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

On the non-professional side, talking with your friends may make the difference. Sometimes, your parents or family might have advice for you.

3. Time-Out Strategy

During an intense argument, emotions can run high, leading to someone getting angry and upset. That’s when the hurtful speech and harmful behavior come out. Implementing a time-out strategy allows both partners to cool down and gather their thoughts. It’s important to agree on this strategy in advance and to use it respectfully.

A time-out isn’t about avoiding the issue but rather about taking a break for a little while to approach the discussion more calmly and productively.

4. Establishing Ground Rules

Setting clear ground rules for arguments can prevent disputes from escalating. These rules on how to respond might include:

  • No yelling
  • No interrupting
  • No name-calling
  • No bringing up past issues

Ground rules help create a respectful environment, even during disagreements.

5. Use Of ‘I’ Statements

In disputes, speaking with ‘I’ statements instead of ‘You’ statements can significantly change the tone of the conversation.

For example, saying “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…” can help in expressing feelings without blaming or accusing the other person. This approach encourages openness and understanding. It also helps to use ‘I’ statements to admit when …

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Keeping A Strong Marriage: Nurturing Lifelong Love

In the dance of life, a strong matrimony stands as a timeless duet, where two hearts move in unison, navigating the ebbs and flows of life’s melodies. It’s a journey of love, growth, and mutual discovery, where the bond of matrimony is not just a contract but a profound connection that evolves and deepens over time.

However, like any enduring partnership, research shows that relationships require dedication, understanding, and constant nurturing to keep their strength and vibrancy.

In this article, we delve into the essential aspects of sustaining a strong and successful marriage, exploring how couples can foster lasting love, respect, and companionship. From the art of communication to finding common interests to the dance of financial harmony, each element plays a crucial role in keeping a fulfilling and resilient marriage bond.

Communication Is Key

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any strong marriage. It’s more than just exchanging words; it’s about truly understanding and connecting with your partner. Active listening plays a crucial role in this process. It involves:

  • Giving your full attention

  • Understanding the underlying emotion
  • Responding with empathy and compassion
  • Truly caring for the well-being of the other person

Additionally, expressing your own needs and desires openly and respectfully is vital. It’s important to create a safe space where both partners feel heard and understood. Regularly checking in with each other, not only about day-to-day activities but also deeper feelings and dreams, helps maintain this vital connection so you can live happily together.

Trust is also one of the foundations of a secure and healthy relationship. Building and keeping trust requires consistent effort.

  • Honesty And Transparency: Being honest and transparent in all aspects of the relationship helps in building a strong foundation of trust. This includes being open about feelings, thoughts, and concerns.
  • Overcoming Jealousy: Jealousy can be detrimental to trust. Addressing insecurities openly, reassuring each other, and working on self-esteem issues can help in overcoming jealousy.
  • Consistency And Reliability: Consistent behavior and reliability are key to building trust. This means keeping promises, being dependable, and showing up for each other in both big and small ways.

Of course, conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s the approach to resolving disagreements that can either strengthen or weaken a bond. If you can repair your relationships with friends when things go awry, you can expect to do it with your partner too.

  • Healthy Argument Techniques: It’s normal to disagree sometimes, so learning to argue healthily is crucial. This involves staying respectful, avoiding blame, listening actively, and trying to understand your partner’s perspective.
  • Seeking Help When Needed: Sometimes, conflicts can be too complex to handle alone. Seeking help from a counselor or therapist can provide new insights and strategies for resolving disagreements.
  • Compromise and Forgiveness: Compromise is often necessary in conflict resolution. It’s about finding a middle ground where both partners feel heard and valued. Equally important is the ability to forgive and move past conflicts without holding grudges in the future.

Mutual Respect And Understanding

Respect and understanding form the bedrock of a loving marriage. This means valuing each other’s opinions, even when they differ, and approaching disagreements with empathy rather than judgment. Mutual respect is also about acknowledging and appreciating each other’s unique qualities and contributions to the relationship. Understanding each other’s perspectives, especially during conflicts, can lead to more compassionate and effective problem-solving. It’s about seeing the point the other is trying to make and respecting each other not just as a partner but as an individual with their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Time Together

Spending quality time together as a married couple is essential in keeping the marriage bond sturdy. This doesn’t necessarily mean grand gestures; even small, everyday moments can be significant. You can strengthen your connection by doing simple things like:

  • Planning regular date nights

  • Exploring new activities together

  • Simply enjoying a quiet evening at home

  • Sharing hobbies and interests

Quality time is about being fully present with each other, creating shared memories, and continuing to learn about each other’s evolving selves. It helps to remove distractions so you can focus on your beloved. This also includes physical and emotional intimacy. This intimacy goes beyond physical closeness; it’s about maintaining a deep emotional connection. Regular affectionate touch, from holding hands to hugging, reinforces this bond. Other partners might talk about things they love.

Keeping the spark alive in your relationship requires effort and creativity. This could involve romantic gestures, intimate conversations, or simply making time for each other. Emotional intimacy is nurtured by being vulnerable with each other, sharing fears, hopes, and dreams, and offering unwavering support and understanding.

Handling Stressors

External stressors such as work pressures, health concerns, or family dynamics can significantly impact matrimony. It’s essential for couples to develop techniques to manage these stressors effectively.

  • Balancing Work and Family Life: Achieving a work-life balance is crucial. This may involve setting boundaries around work hours, making time for family activities, and supporting each other’s career goals while ensuring family life doesn’t take a backseat.
  • Dealing with Extended Family: It can be challenging when you have to deal with extended family. It’s important to communicate openly with each other about family issues, set healthy boundaries, and present a united front when addressing concerns with relatives.
  • Health and Wellness: Physical and mental health issues can affect matrimony. Being supportive, understanding, and proactive about health and wellness is key. This might mean encouraging healthy habits, being empathetic during health challenges, and seeking professional help when needed.

Financial Harmony

Financial issues can be a major source of stress in matrimony, so achieving financial harmony is crucial. This involves open and honest discussions about money, including budgeting, spending habits, and financial goals. Working together to create and stick to a budget can enhance teamwork and ensure you’re both working towards common objectives. It’s also important to respect each other’s financial perspectives and come to compromises that satisfy both partners. Regular financial check-ins can help keep you both on the same page and prevent misunderstandings or resentments from building up.

Growing Together

One of the most beautiful aspects of long-term marriage is the opportunity it provides for both partners to grow together. This growth is not just personal but also as a couple, continuously evolving and adapting to each other’s changing needs and aspirations.

Common Goals For Maintaining A Strong Matrimony

Setting common goals is a key aspect of growing together. These goals could range from short-term objectives like planning a vacation or a home renovation project, to long-term aspirations such as:

  • Career advancements

  • Retirement plans

  • Personal development goals

When couples set and work towards these goals together, it creates a sense of unity and teamwork. This collaborative approach not only brings couples closer but also gives them a shared purpose and direction.

While it’s important to have common goals, supporting each other’s individual interests…

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Couples Therapy: What If It Doesn’t Work?

Many people believe in the success of couples therapy. This form of counseling has become popular in different countries all over the world. Married couples are often led to believe that the only way to solve the issues in their relationships is to find an excellent therapist, but there are many other strategies and resources that can help couples navigate the challenges of married life. While this may be true, there is no guarantee that it will offer a hundred percent success. As such, it is logical to conclude that it could also fail at some point.…

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Therapist Explains Why People Often Choose Difficult Partners

We are free to choose the kind of person we want to share our lives with. Admittedly we intend to love someone based on our desired preference. Though there are religions and traditions that practice match-making, dynastic urgency, or social convention, most of us are not forced into a relationship for these reasons. However, in reality, our choice of lover is a lot less free than we can imagine. The idea of who we want to care for and love usually comes from a part that we never entirely look into – our childhood.

There is a strong psychological history that influences us to fall in love with certain types of people. We think of it as a preference-based emotional attachment. It goes along the grooves formed in our childhood, focusing only on perfection and romanticism. That explains why we often look for individuals who are too good to be true in many ways. There is an emotional entrapment because we only see love as a form of generosity, kindness, and tenderness. But when we think about it, these distinguished preferences come from our first-hand experience with our parents. Therefore, our desire for love from someone is based on how our parents treat us when we’re kids.

Source: pixabay.com

How We Choose Our Partner?

Understandably, we often look away from those people who do not fit our desired preferences, but seeking marriage counseling can sometimes assist bridge the gap in differences. The prospected candidates do not satisfy our yearning for complexity that we want to associate with love and relationship. Thus, we usually describe these individuals as “boring,” “unattractive,” and “not our type” However, there is a truth we meant by that. Our ideology is that we see these people who we turn down will unlikely make us feel loved. It will less likely create the same impact we often see with our parents’ relationship when we were kids.

Nevertheless, there’s a realization that we need to consider as well. The perfection in our partner that we aim so much can also come from the opposite reflection of our parents. Meaning, when we often witness marital complications when we were kids, we automatically want to destroy the continuation of that unfortunate scenario. Love gets tangled with certain painful experiences. There’s the feeling of not being good enough. It goes with betrayal, jealousy, and abuse. There’s a sense that one cannot be fully vulnerable in front of the other. We often witness this kind of relationship with our parents. So as we grow older, we try our best to avoid experiencing the same.

But some instances choosing a partner is merely a challenge we intend to give ourselves. We hang on to those complicated individuals because they provide the thrilling experience of pain, anxiety, agony, and rage at the same time. We always choose them to be in our lives because these complicated people give us satisfaction whenever we feel out of the ordinary.

Source: pixabay.com

Why Stick With The Difficult Partner?

It often becomes common to receive advice from others to leave our complicated partners to settle with someone more wholesome. But this can be easier said than done. Our ability to endure pain is what makes us more drawn to the idea of love. We cannot magically redirect our feelings and get easily attracted to someone we think is the opposite of our current partner. But we do not also let go of the possibility of getting a room for change. That explains why instead of looking for someone new, we put too much effort into aiming for our partner’s transformation.

However, there is always a solution in handling situations better. That is why instead of initiating and trying very hard to alter our partners, we would choose to make room for small considerations. From there, we make simple adjustments to our responses and behaviors to occasionally handle the difficulty of our partners.

Source: pixabay.com

Takeaway

We might find it hard to change our templates for attraction probably. But we can always re-engineer our instincts and learn to react based on how our partners communicate and interact with us. We need to think through the constructive and mature manner of handling the relationship like a rational adult. We should not regard the whole commitment as a replica of our parents’ relationship that we often see as a child. We need to become open-minded with the enormous opportunity to get away from our childlike preferences and focus on adult patterns.

The challenge of handling someone difficult should not go with “I have to fix you,” “I deserve this,” and “You need to change.” It should be handled with “I don’t have to feel bad,” “It’s no one’s fault,” and “You are okay the way you are.” We have to remember that the answer is not always to end the relationship, regardless of having a complicated partner. Instead, there is a need to strive to deal with the compelling challenges to grow up mentally and emotionally fully.

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Common Marital Issues According To A Therapist

All marriages struggle with their relationship, and there is no exemption to that. Despite each couple’s ability to understand the situation and compromise, there will still be times when both won’t sustain their individual needs. Regardless of whether the marital issue is solvable or should lead to divorce, it is guaranteed that most married couples have similar concerns. Some factors can ruin their marital commitment, and sometimes they go unnoticeable. To know what those are, below is the list.

Source: pixabay.com

Finances – Married couples often fight about money. Regardless of their ability to avoid misinterpreting each other, financial issues will surely become part of their misunderstandings one way or another. Financial matters cater to broad needs, whether personal, child care, home responsibilities, social life, and so on. Often, couples are uncomfortable discussing financial matters because usually, only one of them is earning money. However, for instance, that both can provide for the family, issues can still escalate as to how much they are allowed to spend and hold some cash.

Labor Division – Married couples usually have issues with labor division, especially related to household chores. For the likes of the husband, usually, they do not intend to commit to doing a lot in the house since they are the ones providing for the family. Therefore, it would be safe to say that the wife should be responsible for taking care of the needs of the children and the house. However, the imbalance creates a problem as most wives feel that marriage is a little bit unfair. Because not only do the wives handle everything in the house, they are also responsible for remembering and taking care of small things, making them busy and unavailable for rest.

Parenting Differences – Parenting is an entirely common marital issue that most couples do not want to discuss. Perhaps they know that the conversation might not end well regarding who has the more right to ruling the kids. Usually, tension regarding how often or who the children should socialize with, what the kids should achieve, and how they should behave are the things that couples struggle to deal with. The parenting differences can cause a rift in the couple because often, the other becomes in favor while the other parent disapproves.

Source: pixabay.com

Boredom – Not all relationship succeeds just by staying the same. Whether they like it or not, the marital relationship will soon come to a point where both individuals will feel bored with each other. They will become less interested in what they once enjoyed and somehow feel that their love for each other is wearing off. At times, marriage can be salvageable. There are things that married couples can do to keep the relationship back on track. They can experiment in doing exciting things together. Sadly, most of the time, it gets to a point where one or both couple calls it quits.

Abuse – No marriage goes on for years without abuse. There are always some instances in that a husband or a wife abuses their partner for whatever reason. Abuse is not just about physical aspects. It also caters to family mental health and the emotional torture one experiences inside a marital relationship. Note that each married coupes’ are different. So if some may consider allowance for mistakes, others may choose to leave the relationship without a blink of an eye. Every decision concerning abuse depends on the couple’s mental and emotional tolerance and resilience.

Intimacy – Yes, sex is a factor that mostly affects married couples. It is a known fact that sexual intimacy is the turning point of the marital relationship. Couples who are frequently having sex may find themselves more connected and passionate with each other. But note that it does not mean that those who are not intimate are unusual. Couples may have a different representation of intimacy. However, in common situations, married couples struggle with their sexual compatibility or incompatibility. Sadly, that explains why some of them end up dissatisfied.

Source: pixabay.com

Jealousy – Marriage won’t be complete without jealousy. As much as couples want to deny it, there is always a portion in their relationship that one or both of them feel insecure. Jealousy in marriage is crucial as it can cause turmoil in the emotional aspects of both individuals. It is stressful because it comes with doubts, fear, and anxiety, leading to a whole new level of mental health problems. Jealousy in marriage can also spur conflict due to unrealistic expectations.

Keeping Scores – It is the root of all misunderstandings in marital relationships. Keeping score is a potential breaker of a relationship as couples may find themselves too focused on their partner’s wrongdoings. It hinders them from appreciating the beauty of being together as they build resentment towards one another. Keeping score in marriage is a habit that not all married couples can see. Unfortunately, it is also not something that husband and wife can easily avoid.

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Marriage Counseling: Seek Help for Relationship Concerns

Keeping a committed, long-term serious happy relationship together, like marriage, can be possibly one of the most difficult challenges that two persons can face in life. When people choose to live together, disagreements, fights, and random difficulties become unavoidable and should be expected. However, open communication and trying to understand each other can strengthen relationships amid these inevitable challenges.

Let’s discuss here in this guide to couples therapy what marital counseling is and see how it can help you reinforce better communication skills.

When Do You Need Marriage Counseling?

Don’t wait to seek counseling till you’re ready to give up. Marital stress and problems will not go away by themselves, although many married couples sweep the difficulties under the rug for months or years.

Maintaining a strong marriage is hard. It is unavoidable that your marriage is not doing great. Both of you know it. You really miss the old days and want to end the silence and fix things, but you don’t know how. The treatment works, and it may be your solution to resolve conflicts and rebuild the bond with your spouse. It can also help you decide whether or not being together is still good for you.

 

How Can Marriage Counseling Help?

A few minutes after work, your husband (imagine Carl or Richard Langley) arrives home, heads to the cupboard, and takes his usual bottle of wine. He sits in front of the television and drinks on his own in silence. You haven’t been talking for weeks now. Sex life? You don’t remember having that for some time now! No worries because it can certainly help many couples understand each other better and make quality decisions.

In addition to addressing relationship distress, it may also recommend individual therapy to support emotional health and help couples understand their emotional responses. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy is a great resource for those seeking a qualified marriage and family therapist. But first, you need relevant knowledge about this treatment.

Marriage counseling focuses on marriage and relationship issues. It is a valuable tool for those who are struggling with relationship concerns and seeking to improve their overall relationship satisfaction. Marriage and family therapists are trained professionals who specialize in helping couples navigate challenges and develop a healthy relationship.

Enhancing Relationship Dynamics

It is often known as a marriage counselor or therapist, and it assists partners – determined or not – in resolving disagreements and enhancing their married life. The therapy process offers strategies and mechanisms that can improve communication skills and problem-solving, meet halfway, and even disagree more healthily and positively to have a healthy marriage.

Marriage counselors offer the same marriage services as other therapists, although with a specialized focus on marriage and family therapy. It is an effective form of therapy that can help married couples work through a variety of issues. One approach is discernment counseling, which is particularly helpful for those who are uncertain about the future of their relationship. It involves individual and joint sessions, where the therapist uses active listening and the Gottman method to help couples understand their different parenting styles and develop new skills for effective communication. The treatment can help both partners understand each other’s perspectives and work towards a common goal, improving overall women’s health and the health of the relationship.

Celebrating Individuality and Finding Harmony in Marriage

Most couples,  especially in married life,  are not perfect at all. The husband or wife shares joy but also opinions, values, personal background, external links, and ideas in the relationship without knowing if they match your spouse’s. The differences you both have do not essentially imply that your marriage is made to fail. In fact, your differences can complement each other – opposites attract. Your differences can also help partners interact, sense, recognize, respect, and embrace opposing moments, lives, and backgrounds.

Marriage counseling is a healthy way for couples from different backgrounds to improve their relationship and find common ground. A study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that couples therapy work can be effective in helping couples improve their communication and intimacy using different techniques. No matter the specific issues, therapy may benefit them by providing effective ways to communicate and understand each other’s perspectives.

 

Overcoming Disparities and Rediscovering Joy

Married life can be put to the test anytime. Think of it like a movie with no release date in place. Disparities or activities that you previously found enjoyable may no longer be that interesting after you’ve spent some time together.

Occasionally, certain concerns like money, watching movies or film choices, language, success, children, playing, sexual issues, manners, or infidelity cause conflicts in the relationship. Eventually, communication, love, and affection collapse. Whatever the reason is, negativity in a relationship can develop into unnecessary worry, stress, fear, strain, lack of feeling or spirit, and other serious issues.

The Importance Of Timely Marriage Counseling And Common Concerns to Address

You can wait and cross your fingers that your relationship problems will start going on their own to a forgotten house in your head. However, left neglected, an unhealthy relationship may progress and ultimately cause psychological or physical conditions like depression. A messy love story created needs urgent relationship help as it can also cause complications in the workplace and impact other members of the family and even close friends and significant others.

Don’t wait until your marriage is unraveling to seek the treatment.

Below is a list of the common concerns and example problems that the treatment can assist you and your spouse deal with.

      • Financial problem
      • Infidelity
      • Miscommunication due to tone
      • Alcohol or substance abuse
      • Divorce
      • Cultural differences
      • Communication problems
      • Unemployment
      • Infertility
      • Sexual difficulties
      • Conflicts about raising children
      • Anger and other extreme tempers
      • Mental and physical conditions

You don’t necessarily have to have a difficult relationship to seek professional help. It can guide those who desire to build or fortify their bonds and get a better appreciation and respect for one partner for another.

Preparing For Marriage Through Counseling And Open Dialogue

It also helps couples who are planning to get married. They can seek advice to reach an understanding and fix disparities before marriage. But they should have realistic expectations. It usually brings spouses and couples together for joint sessions.

It helps identify and acknowledge the high-quality sources of marriage disagreements and strives to fix them. You and your spouse scrutinize both the bad and good aspects of your relationship.

Problem-Solving, Communication, and Conflict Resolution

A licensed family therapist can help strengthen relationships through new abilities and strategies. These family therapy sessions include problem-solving, open communication, and rational discussion for marriage conflict resolution. In some situations, like substance abuse or a family mental health disorder, online couples therapy or counseling can work with other healthcare professionals to give …

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What I Learned About My Partner Through Couples Counseling

 

Source: rawpixel.com

 

I recall vividly the first few sessions I had with my counselor when I was telling her that my marriage was failing, and I think it’s really over between my partner and me. I sought counseling on my own because I didn’t even have the courage or the eagerness to invite my partner to come with me. My counselor then allowed me to open up to her and express my sadness, frustration, and disappointment. There was very little hope left in me, and Alba, my counselor, was merely there to be a sounding board to listen to the whole gamut of feelings and issues that I had.

After a few months of counseling, I slowly instilled hope in myself, and I decided to ask my partner if he was willing to try and fix our marriage. Surprisingly, he wanted to. That was the beginning of the end of our constant blaming and arguing. We eventually came to look forward to our visits with Alba, as everything we learned about forgiving, understanding, and accepting, we learned from counseling.

One crucial thing that I want to share with you is that my partner and I – just like you and your partner – have numerous differences. Perhaps like us, you too will come to learn how to recognize and embrace each other’s differences.

Below are some things that I learned about my partner:

  • His Way Of Communicating. We have our unique ways of connecting with others, both close to us and those with whom we are just establishing relationships. We communicate with each other, and how we deal with our partners and their desires is vital in keeping a positive and healthy marriage.

 

  • His Way Of Handling Conflict. As with communication style, we have various ways of handling conflict, but often we don’t exert enough effort and time to understand how our partners deal with conflict. In couples counseling, the third party (the counselor) observes and determines methods to handle conflict and meet each other halfway to avoid misunderstanding.

Source: rawpixel.com

  • He Is Not Perfect. You might be wondering, “It’s obvious why they need to see a counselor.” However, we frequently have high standards for our partners that we do not even extend them with the patience and kindness that they have earned. In our sessions, I realized that my partner is not perfect, but so am I. But despite the imperfection, we must only find ways to fill each other’s flaws so that the marriage is ‘perfectly’ established.

 

  • Differences Are Not Insufficiencies. I sometimes hear people say that they are the exact opposite of their partner. Realistically, we are all uniquely and wonderfully made. My partner and I have distinct personalities, beliefs, and values, as we were raised from different backgrounds. We committed to work through our various personalities and learned strategies to help us avoid conflict.

 

  • He Has His Own Love Language. My partner knows that he easily sways me when he buys me plants to add to my garden, and a short back massage can change my most unpleasant mood. A healthy serving of my baked chicken with gravy, on the other hand, pacifies him. Indeed, my partner and I have a different love language, and I am thankful that we learned that through counseling.

 

  • We Don’t Connect In The Same Way. As a couple, we often struggle to look for ways to connect, which was a major factor that led to conflict. Through counseling, I learned that my partner would rather talk it out in person because he hates texting or chatting, but I don’t really mind if I talk with him on the phone for hours. It seems that I can’t get enough of him when he’s not home!

 

  • He Has Other Priorities – And That’s Okay. Going to my parents’ house on weekends is a priority for me outside of my marriage. However, my partner makes it a point to go fishing twice a week, and I used to find it impractical and costly. I learned, though, that it was his way of relaxing and spending time for himself. It keeps his mental and physical well-being at bay.

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  • He Needs Me For Most Things. Before we went to counseling, I always thought my partner was too clingy and dependent on me. However, I didn’t think I was too selfish when I obliged him to keep me company when I went shopping because I didn’t want to drive – and he does it anyway. Counseling helped us realize that we had different needs from each other and whether they were relatively simple or complicated, they are needs that we both can provide as partners – because we loved and respected each other.

Conclusion

Couples counseling has played a tremendous role in saving my marriage and helping my partner and me establish a healthy and positive relationship. Are you having problems with your marriage? Try to consult a counselor in your area. He might be what you and your partner need.

 

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Frequently Asked Questions About Cognitive Dissonance

Are you having problems with your significant other because of psychological conflict? This conflict may be a sign of cognitive dissonance. It is common in every relationship, but most people are not aware of it.

If you want to know more about cognitive dissonance and how you can manage it, read on.

The word “cognitive” relates to conscious intellectual activities like thinking, remembering, and reasoning. On the other hand, dissonance refers to the lack of agreement.

Social psychologist Leon Festinger first introduced the Cognitive Dissonance Theory (CDT) in 1957. It refers to the discomfort in maintaining consistency between two thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, and values. We struggle once we find conflict within these multiple cognitions.

So, what is the connection of cognitive dissonance to relationships?

Your current significant other may not be your ideal partner, but you accept them for who they are and stay in the relationship. Another example is when your partner does things you’re not fond of, but you try to compromise with them.

When these things happen, you have a conflict between your cognition and your partner’s. That is cognitive dissonance.

Moreover, cognitive dissonance may lead to infidelity. There may be a discrepancy in a person’s self-concept, leading them to cheat even if they believe they are loyal and faithful.  When this happens, they experience psychological discomfort, affecting their thoughts and feelings.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy where you talk to your therapist regarding your thoughts, feelings, and conflicts. This therapy aids in resolving disagreements in relationships, among many issues. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help if you struggle with opening up about your feelings.

You should always consult an expert—your mental health provider, for advice. They can recommend any treatment, like therapies, they deem helpful for you.

Below are some frequently asked questions about cognitive dissonance.

What is cognitive dissonance therapy?

If the consequences of cognitive dissonance have become too severe, you can seek the help of a therapist. You might discover that specific thoughts are influencing your behavior for the worse.

Your therapist will work with you to untangle the web of beliefs and ideas you may have about a situation. Once you recognize the disparity between your thoughts and behavior, it becomes easier to resolve it.

Why is cognitive dissonance bad?

Cognitive dissonance is not always harmful. But if your behavior is not aligned with your core values, you may experience intense feelings. It may include feelings of shame, guilt, and stress. These emotions can negatively affect your self-esteem and interpersonal relationships.

As a result, you might engage in maladaptive behaviors to reconcile the contradictions.

Is cognitive dissonance a disorder?

No, but it can cause emotional distress and harmful behaviors. People may deliberately avoid information that does not conform to their beliefs. They may also refuse a healthy debate to resolve the conflict. In some cases, cognitive dissonance can strain relationships and prevent self-growth.

What is cognitive dissonance in relationships?

It refers to the dissonance that arises when your partner’s beliefs or behaviors may not align with your own. Your partner may have different views on mundane things. But you need to be on the same boat when it comes to planning your future.

You may choose to have an in-depth conversation to resolve the cognitive dissonance or make compromises.

What are the 4 types of relationships?

The four types of interpersonal relationships are between families, friends, acquaintances, and romantic partners. Relationships are bonds between two or more people. It can be long-lasting or short-lived. The duration depends on the commitment of those involved to maintain the relationship.

 

What are some examples of cognitive dissonance?

A person may experience cognitive dissonance due to inherited beliefs about themselves and the world. One example is smokers and alcoholics justifying their harmful habits.

Another example is when a person is taught that being gay is a sin. They might experience cognitive dissonance when the person then identifies as a member of the said community. It can also come in the form of acquired biases or misconceptions about minority groups.

How do you break cognitive dissonance?

It might be impossible to eliminate cognitive dissonance. However, you can reduce the resulting mental tension by changing your behavior.

You can also alter your beliefs so that they are in accordance with your actions. It might be uncomfortable, but you may have to unlearn and relearn particular ideas that may not be relevant anymore.

How do you recognize cognitive dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is when you feel conflicted over something but do not know how to move forward. It might be hard to recognize it at the onset, but you can take a step back to ask why you feel conflicted.

Pay close attention to the thoughts, feelings, and ideas you have about a situation. For severe cases of cognitive dissonance, it’s best to seek professional help.

How does cognitive dissonance lead to an attitude change?

To reduce cognitive dissonance, a person may:

  1. Change their existing beliefs,
  2. Acquire new information that supports their belief, or
  3. Reduce the importance of said beliefs.

A person seeking to sustain their smoking habit can refuse to believe that smoking is harmful. They may also seek out information that confirms their belief. They may even adopt a belief that the short-term benefits of smoking outweigh the long-term consequences.

How does cognitive dissonance affect workplace behavior?

It varies depending on their beliefs and behaviors. But then,  cognitive dissonance can affect employee performance and work relationships. For instance, an employee may discover that the company has questionable practices that do not align with his values. To reduce the tension, they may justify unethical behavior.

At the same time, there is also a tendency to make excessive rationalizations. They may lose motivation to perform their job. It is also possible to experience heightened workplace stress that can affect their productivity.

Why does cognitive dissonance occur?

Cognitive dissonance occurs due to discrepancies between a person’s beliefs and actions or their beliefs and values. It’s not always possible to act in strict accordance with our beliefs all the time.  Cognitive dissonance is a necessary component of a child’s learning process.

What is an example of dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is when a person knows that smoking is harmful to their health but keeps on doing it anyway. Another example is when you keep making excuses to put off exercise even though you’re aware of its many health benefits.

How does cognitive dissonance operate in everyday life?

Cognitive dissonance is not always blatant. It usually comes in the form of everyday excuses we make in life. From missing an exercise day or justifying a “white lie,” we sometimes think or do things that contradict our values. The tension depends on how severe the contradiction is.

What is cognitive conflict?

Cognitive conflict is another term for cognitive dissonance. When a person …

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Frequently Asked Questions About Major Depressive Disorder Along With Relationships

It is funny how relationships get ruined for no reason. Yes, a relationship, just like many other relationships, may fail even without the presence of a third party. That is because emotional and mental health issues, such as depression, can become a factor. Some might not agree with that, I know. But for those couples who are struggling with mental and emotional health issues, the reality is different. This is why it’s important to learn about depression and relationships.

Not all relationships can work, especially when one or both of them already decided that things aren’t under control. Marriage counseling may not always cure the problem. Some instances believe that the mere reason for a failed commitment is falling out of love. But I doubt that. No one easily falls out of love just because they think it’s trendy or entirely necessary. There is a strong reason behind that statement, as well as for quite a while, I realized it was all because of the mental and emotional damage present in the love affair.

Depression is a very real and strong enemy. It has the power to ruin many things. It can affect families and also one’s career. It can be a silent killer, slowly eating away at us until we are no longer able to keep up with the demands of our walk or everyday life. I have witnessed how depression destroys your love for your partner first-hand. Of course, it is not a pretty sight.

How Depression Affected My Relationship

My experience started when my long-term boyfriend was diagnosed with depression. Initially, I didn’t understand the severity of his condition. At the same time, I have no clue how it would affect our love. I thought I could be a positive force in his life. I thought I could help him through it, but it quickly became apparent that I was unprepared for the mental along with emotional toll it would take on me.

I started to feel overwhelmed at that time. I felt helpless – like there was nothing I could do to make him feel better. Our love affair had been so strong for so long, but now it was crumbling before my eyes. I started to become resentful. I felt frustrated as well that I blamed myself for not being able to help him. I felt like a failure for the reason that I was struggling to maintain my own mental well-being.

The Hardest Decision I Made

I eventually had to make the difficult decision to end our relationship. It was heartbreaking. I felt like I had failed him. But I knew that it was the healthiest option for both of us. I had to put my own mind along with emotional well-being first. I couldn’t continue to be in an unhealthy situation anymore.

Despite my worries, I decided to focus on my own healing recovery treatment. I started to see a therapist. I also attended support groups to help me in coping with the trauma of the failed commitment. I worked hard to move on from the pain while starting to build a better future for myself.

As the years passed, I was able to forgive myself for the mistakes I made as well as for leaving my partner. I also learned that it was okay to recognize my own limitations. It was fine to set my own boundaries also not to mention to respect my own emotional and mental health.

Wrapping Up

I am grateful for the lessons I learned in that relationship, and I am now living a more balanced as well as a healthier life. I am still in touch with my ex-boyfriend. I am pleasantly surprised to find out that he is doing much better. He is managing his mood disorder with the help of local resources,  also advice from therapists, including medically reviewed medication. He is living a more fulfilling life.

I still struggle with depression. Depression affects my relationships, but I am more aware of its power now; I know my own limitations. I have learned to be more compassionate while having a better understanding of myself. I am also more aware of my needs and boundaries. I am more willing to take care of myself now. 

Depression is a powerful force, and it can have a serious impact on relationships. But with love, support, and understanding, it is possible to overcome the challenges it brings, You can also live a healthier yet more balanced life.

You might not agree with me, but let me explain some things to you from these frequently asked questions. From there, it is your choice to look deep into these answers. I also recommend trying to use them for your own evaluation.

How Does Mental Illness Affect Commitment?

According to a therapy expert, mental health problems are extremely painful. It is a traumatic moment for all individuals as it creates a huge impact on emotional components. It impacts people’s ability to express empathy due to persistent feelings of anxiety and isolation. It causes codependency or even resentment. There is a struggle to know what individuals should do to cope with their stress while trying their best to manage other life pressure.

Anxiety and depression affect relationships in a very unnoticeable way. Sometimes, it can leave both parties unaware of their words, actions, as well as behaviors. Often, the mental health condition makes it impossible for both individuals to look beneath what is more important.

What Is The Relationship Of Stress To Mood Disorder?

When stress is prolonged, there is a chance that it promotes an overwhelming feeling. The risks of developing medical problems, including mental health problems, increase. Chronic stressful life situations are inevitable. Thus, the possibility of having MDD is right around the corner. However, the damages are not limited to that. Stress contributes to more health issues such as sleep problems, substance use problems, pain, bodily complaints, inability to focus as well as concentration, etc.

 What Are The Types Of Major Mood Disorders?

The common types of depression are Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), Psychotic Depression, Peripartum (Postpartum) Depression, and Situational Depression.

 What Diseases Are Linked To Major Mood Disorders?

Some examples of diseases linked to depression are arthritis, kidney disease, diabetes, heart disease, lupus, HIV/AIDS, and multiple sclerosis (MS). Even Hypothyroidism also leads to depressed feelings. That is due to the fears besides anxiety that tend to build up over time.

What Is The Number One Cause Of MDD?

Research shows that depression does not just occur from simply having too little or too much of certain chemicals in the brain. Rather, there are many possible causes of the mental disorder including genetic vulnerability, abuse, addiction, death or loss of a loved one, conflict, medications, stressful life events, …

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Frequently Asked Questions About Family Therapy

Promoting Mental Health During The Pandemic

Family therapy is a helpful tool for strengthening bonds within your family. This treatment aims to improve communication, strengthen the family’s decision-making skills, and solve relationship problems.

Family therapy deals with family dynamics and relations. Although different from individual treatment, it can still work alongside.

For example, a patient going through therapy for their eating habits will need their family’s support. With the whole family attending the session, the therapist can address external factors affecting the patient’s behavior.

Therapists typically use family systems therapy. With this, they treat the family as a single unit. Several approaches fall under this type of therapy.

The approaches include strategic family therapy, structural family therapy, and integrational family therapy. It is the role of the therapist to identify which of these approaches suit a specific family best.

Although family therapy is a common and beneficial practice, there are still misconceptions about it. Some may think therapy is only for broken or suffering families.

But in reality, families go through therapy for many reasons. Some seek family mental health help to address trauma or grief. Meanwhile, others need assistance for children with ADHD or teenagers suffering from substance abuse. Still, some would seek help for eating disorders and other mental illnesses.

At the same time, family therapists can also help adults going through financial troubles. But then, some families also seek therapy to improve their family dynamics. Some may perceive these issues negatively, but these situations are all part of human nature.

Other pushing points may also include significant changes, like a child moving away for school or a blended family coming together.

Additionally, some people who know about family therapy may still have far too many unanswered questions. And the thing is, it may be challenging to gather up all answers in one reading.

Below are FAQs regarding family therapy to inform you and clear any misconceptions you may have about it. Here, you will also learn about what you can expect at a family therapy clinic, including session duration and costs.

You can also expect an overview of the advantages and disadvantages of this therapy to guide you.

What do family therapists do?

Family therapists help mend relationships within your household. By looking at each member’s individual role and power dynamics, family therapists can improve your family member’s mental health.

They can help treat depression, anxiety, and other psychological problems caused by or related to your family. Although they may conduct individual interviews or sessions, family therapists apply a family-centric approach to therapy.

How much does an MFT charge per hour?

A marital and family therapist usually charges around $100 per session. However, the cost of therapy ranges from $70 to $250 per hour. Thus, rates may vary depending on your MFT. Some family therapists accept insurance, so make sure your provider also covers costs for therapy.

Is an MFT a psychologist?

MFTs and clinical psychologists are both part of the core mental health professionals but are different in their ways. Before passing as MFTs, they must attain a master’s degree and receive at least two years of supervised clinical training.

On the other hand, clinical psychologists must accomplish a doctorate and train for at least a year. Aside from educational and training background, an MFT is specialized in treating mental disorders within the context of a relationship.

In comparison, clinical psychologists focus more on treating conditions with an individual-focused approach.

What typically happens in family therapy?

First, the MFT asks what problems are bothering your family and how each member views these situations. The MFT will then interview each member to determine the individual roles in the family. By learning about these respective roles, your family therapist will understand your familial relations.

Aside from helping you in your weaknesses, MFTs also find your family’s strengths so you can maintain such habits. Your therapist will then provide you with health treatment plans and serve as a mediator for conflict within the family.

Can therapists treat family members?

Family therapists treat family members by addressing the symptoms associated with mental conditions. At times, solving family crises can help improve the mental health conditions of family members.

However, there are instances when factors outside of the family cause mental health conditions. Thus, these family members with other mental health disorders can seek help from clinical psychologists instead.

What are the disadvantages of family therapy?

During family therapy, there is a tendency to have differing interpretations of a session. This disparity can sometimes lead to further conflicts, which may add difficulty to mending familial relationships.

In some situations, family therapy may teach younger children to bottle up feelings and thoughts instead of sharing them. However, with a proper approach, these disadvantages can be avoided altogether.

Like most treatment methods, family therapy has both advantages and disadvantages to your family dynamic. At the onset, family therapy brings to light all the complications at home to the point of creating tension.

What is the difference between family therapy and individual therapy?

Family therapy focuses on social factors such as communication and relationships in addressing your mental health problems. On the other hand, individual therapy emphasizes self-esteem, personality building, mindfulness, and different cognitive-behavioral approaches.

Another difference lies in the goals of each treatment. Both therapy approaches aim to improve the patients’ mental health, but family therapy also focuses on fixing your familial relationship.

Family therapy and individual therapy can improve the mental health even when they differ in the treatment approach.

How does family systems therapy work?

Family systems therapy views the family as a single emotional unit. This kind of treatment speaks about how each family member’s behavior is affected by its origins, functions, and relationship.

Family systems therapy thus determines how the family dynamic affects each person. By knowing how the family dynamic works, families can work together to control their situations better.

Should family members have the same therapist?

There are some benefits to having the same therapist, especially if family members need medical attention due to problems arising at home. However, it is not always the case.

In some situations, it can also be unhealthy for family members to have the same therapist. Having the same therapist can create some tension and increase the risks of confidentiality breaches.

Censoring parts of a story can also become useless if your other family member shares the same tale unfiltered.

How long do therapy sessions usually last?

Individual therapy sessions usually last 40-60 minutes, while group therapies may last up to 90 minutes. Consequently, family therapy can take up 50-55 minutes of your time.

Family therapy sessions also tend to be shorter as compared to other types of treatments. Family therapies usually last 12 sessions. However, some families can extend for more periods depending on their specific situation.

Which type of therapy …