Year: 2017

Fidelity must be a conscious choice you make—one that can encourage the emotional creativity to be able to get along for that many years. — Catherine Aponte Psy.D.

Marriage is not a walk in a park. Both parties are required to exert efforts in keeping the love and passion alive. Every single day, each spouse needs to make individual decisions that are in line with the goal of strengthening the marital bond. There are days when the marriage could be full of problems and challenges. During these days, it is essential for both couples to fight for the relationship and to remember why they settled for marriage in the first place.

If you want to stay happy in love with your partner, then this article is perfect for you. We are going to list down the top five rules to follow to achieve a successful marriage. Let these guidelines help you become a better husband or wife to your other half:

RULE 1: Make time for each other.

While it is highly recommended to continuous work hard to improve your career, make sure that you do not forget how to spend quality time with your partner. Avoid making your loved one feel that you do not have enough time for him or her. Take advantage of rest days, holidays or weekends to bond with each other. Sometimes, all you need is to forget about work for a day or two, cuddle up in bend and savor the special moment.

RULE 2: Live in the present.

Do not bring up the past that can only hurt you and your spouse. When the other person commits a mistake, learn how to forgive and forget. Be mature about it and accept the fact that people can make mistakes sometimes. What matters is that both of you are willing to leave the past and embrace the future. Live in the present and seize every moment shared with your partner.

When people have needs that are not being met in the marriage, they either go without and suffer or get their needs met somewhere else. — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

RULE 3: Be affectionate.

One of the common problems in marriage is the failure to express emotions and feelings. When this happens, there is a tendency that one of the spouses may feel neglected or abandoned by the other. Your goal is to ensure that your husband or wife do not think that way. Learn how to make the other person feel that you love him or her. Be affectionate all the time. Do not bottle up your feelings for you. Remember that expressing your love and care would mean a lot to your other half.

RULE 4: Communicate properly.

The key to a happy marriage is to communicate properly with each other. Try to have meaningful conversations at night. Ask your partner how his or her day went. Listen carefully to all the details and never interrupt. This is the best way to make the other person feel that you value them. Conversely, if you have an issue that you want to discuss with your husband or wife, then be sure to let him or her know about it.

Address when your feelings get hurt or when the other truly annoys you, but bite your tongue when it comes to small, unimportant  matters. — Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.

RULE 5: Make decisions together.

This is where most married couples fail. Unfortunately, some husbands or wives make decisions without consulting their partners. This could hurt the marriage or relationship. As such, never make big life decisions without talking to your spouse about it. Consider first what the other person has to say and listen to some suggestions or alternatives. Take note that since the day you got married, you are no longer on your own. You have your entire family with you. Let your partner and the kids be part of the decision-making processes.…

 

 

It’s no doubt that after having kids, it leaves both parents tired, drained and even frustrated, especially moms. It’s even worse when you have two kids or more. Kids do have a wear and tear effect on marriage. It can also be quite an adjustment for some people to transition from the liberating couplehood life to what they are accustomed to now having a family that needs you 24/7.

All people have positive and negative qualities. — Carrie Askin LCSW

The key to having a successful marriage after kids is not to give up and to stick by your partner’s side while raising your kids. Parenting is a glorious experience when both mother and father play a role in it. Cherish your little ones while they’re young because they won’t stay kids forever.

Here’s some tips that can help you with having a happy marriage and raising your kids to the fullest at the same time:

Set Routines for Your Kids        

Have a set bedtime, meal time, homework time etc. It is important to have your kids settled in a routine. They will become so used to it, and this will also help you and your partner. This will make your life a whole lot easier.

Must Read for Dads

Help your wives out wherever you can. Whether it’s some household chores, helping your child with homework or giving the baby a bath. Whatever you can help with, your wife will really appreciate it. It will relieve her and by doing this, she will also have more time for you.

Remember, taking care of the kids and looking after the household is worse than a full-time job and it’s difficult for her to cope, especially if she also works. You also have a role to play at home and the kids are yours, too, so help her out with it and take part in the duties of your household.

An important part of the interactions between you and your spouse is the way in which you communicate thoughts, ideas, and feelings primarily through verbal communication. — Catherine Aponte Psy.D.

Plan a Date for Just You and Your Partner

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a little break away from your kids to have some husband and wife time. In fact, this will help you with strengthening your marriage and not to mention having some peace and quiet for a little while! Ask family members if they would take care of your kids for the day or hire a reliable nanny. Then plan a date with your partner, whatever you used to enjoy before you had kids. You can also make this a monthly or bi-weekly thing.

Plan Family Activities

This can be games that are played at home or you can go out for family fun activities. Considering fishing, camping or having a picnic at the park and playing with the kids. This will allow you and your family to bond. It will make your kids happy and your partner too.

Exchange Flirty and Sexy Emails or Messages During the Day

This will make you feel great about yourself and your partner will definitely look forward to coming home to you. It will also keep the spark alive in your marriage and will make you feel like a newlywed couple.

Be Patient with Each Other

Patience is another key to having a strong and healthy marriage. Overlook the small bad habits that your partner has. Remember nobody is perfect, not even you. Getting tired and sloppy is also humanly. So, be patient with your partner when this happens to them.

Have Sex

There’s no rule in the book that you must have sex every night without fail. In fact, having sex every night is probably impossible with kids and careers. By having sex even 2-3 times a week doesn’t mean your marriage is failing. Having sex twice a week is fine. When you and your partner stop having sex, then you should start worrying and working on your marriage.

I wish I had a dollar for each time someone in my practice said, “I wasn’t in the mood when I started making love but once we got into it, I really enjoyed myself. It felt great.” — Michele Weiner-Davis LCSW

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Around 50 years back, it was normal for the husband to have a career and provide for the family, whilst the women stayed back home and took care of the kids and the household duties. In today’s times, its normal for both husband and wife to have a flourishing career. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman being financially independent and successful. However, it has become a common issue with married couples who spend most of their time focusing on their careers, which leads to problems in the marriage.

It starts with a gnawing in your gut that your marriage is not what it was, what you thought it would be or hoped it could be. — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

Both husband and wife work long hours and spend little to no time with each other. This leads to frustration and some couples even end up getting a divorce. This is devastating! Finding a balance between career and marriage is possible. If you neglect your partner and even your family members due to your career, it’s inevitable that you will regret it later on life. So, before this happens, here’s some tips that you can help with finding the balance between marriage and your career:

Set Aside Time for Your Partner

Allocate some time for your partner. Set aside a day that suits both you and your partner. Plan your work schedule out accordingly and your work hours. Try and spend an entire day with your partner or family and try and make this a weekly routine.

Plan Some Fun Activities

After you’ve allocated the time for your partner; plan some fun activities for you and your partner to do. Something which you both enjoy. It can be shopping, going for a picnic, going out for dinner, or even sitting at home, watching movies and cooking together. Whatever, it is that you both enjoy doing together.

Only a small percentage of solely romance-based unions pass the test of time. — Stan Tatkin Psy.D.

Set Your Work Goals

When setting your work goals and hours, be reasonable. Don’t overexert yourself. Set realistic goals. Ones which don’t leave you burned out or leave you with no family time and time for yourself.

Cut Your Living Costs

Try and cut out unnecessary expenses. Usually, the more expenses you have, the more both partners have to work to cover up these expenses. Wherever its possible, try and cut it out. Set a budget for your expenses and stick to it. Also, avoid getting yourself into debt, this will make your life, marriage and work life less stressful.

 Respect Each Other’s Careers

Respect is most definitely the foundation for a healthy marriage. As a matter of fact, any relationship requires respect. Likewise, you and your partner need to respect one another’s careers. After all, it’s something that’s an important part of both your lives and more importantly, is what helps you pay the bills. By respecting each other’s careers, it will also strengthen your relationship.

Set Boundaries with Your Career

By this, I mean don’t take any phone calls from work while you are spending time with your partner and avoid discussing business during this time. It’s all right for you and partner to talk about how your day went and your successes in your career. However, it shouldn’t be the only thing that you discuss.

Of the kinds of parenting dilemmas I see in my office, parent burnout is among the most common and unrecognized. Remarkably, most parents don’t even realize they’re suffering from it. — Sean Grover L.C.S.W.

Plan A Vacation Together

Plan your work schedules and plan to take your leave at the same time. Try and take at least a week off from work and plan a nice vacation. Even better, if you could save up some money to go on a trip overseas. This will help you de-stress and also give you a break from work. Moreover, it’s time to work on your marriage and enjoy some quality time with your loved one and make memories that you both can cherish for the rest of your life.…

Source:slrlounge.com

It’s true that nature provides us with a jet-fueled libido at the beginning of a relationship, but that does not guarantee a long-lasting, happy relationship. — Stan Tatkin Psy.D.

When we decide to commit, spend the rest of our lives and marry somebody, we envision a fire of romance without the glimpse of it fading away. As a husband or a wife, how do we keep on falling in love with the same person every day? How do we become the best “part” of being partners? Is it really possible to have the same gravity of falling in love from the first day you set eyes upon each other until you are old and gray? Here are some of the tips that stood the tests of time which can make it work as if every day is your honeymoon stage.…