Top 5 Rules For A Successful Marriage

Fidelity must be a conscious choice you make—one that can encourage the emotional creativity to be able to get along for that many years. — Catherine Aponte Psy.D.

Marriage is not a walk in a park. Both parties are required to exert efforts in keeping the love and passion alive. Every single day, each spouse needs to make individual decisions that are in line with the goal of strengthening the marital bond. There are days when the marriage could be full of problems and challenges. During these days, it is essential for both couples to fight for the relationship and to remember why they settled for marriage in the first place.

If you want to stay happy in love with your partner, then this article is perfect for you. We are going to list down the top five rules to follow to achieve a successful marriage. Let these guidelines help you become a better husband or wife to your other half:

RULE 1: Make time for each other.

While it is highly recommended to continuous work hard to improve your career, make sure that you do not forget how to spend quality time with your partner. Avoid making your loved one feel that you do not have enough time for him or her. Take advantage of rest days, holidays or weekends to bond with each other. Sometimes, all you need is to forget about work for a day or two, cuddle up in bend and savor the special moment.

RULE 2: Live in the present.

Do not bring up the past that can only hurt you and your spouse. When the other person commits a mistake, learn how to forgive and forget. Be mature about it and accept the fact that people can make mistakes sometimes. What matters is that both of you are willing to leave the past and embrace the future. Live in the present and seize every moment shared with your partner.

When people have needs that are not being met in the marriage, they either go without and suffer or get their needs met somewhere else. — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

RULE 3: Be affectionate.

One of the common problems in marriage is the failure to express emotions and feelings. When this happens, there is a tendency that one of the spouses may feel neglected or abandoned by the other. Your goal is to ensure that your husband or wife do not think that way. Learn how to make the other person feel that you love him or her. Be affectionate all the time. Do not bottle up your feelings for you. Remember that expressing your love and care would mean a lot to your other half.

RULE 4: Communicate properly.

The key to a happy marriage is to communicate properly with each other. Try to have meaningful conversations at night. Ask your partner how his or her day went. Listen carefully to all the details and never interrupt. This is the best way to make the other person feel that you value them. Conversely, if you have an issue that you want to discuss with your husband or wife, then be sure to let him or her know about it.

Address when your feelings get hurt or when the other truly annoys you, but bite your tongue when it comes to small, unimportant  matters. — Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.

RULE 5: Make decisions together.

This is where most married couples fail. Unfortunately, some husbands or wives make decisions without consulting their partners. This could hurt the marriage or relationship. As such, never make big life decisions without talking to your spouse about it. Consider first what the other person has to say and listen to some suggestions or alternatives. Take note that since the day you got married, you are no longer on your own. You have your entire family with you. Let your partner and the kids be part of the decision-making processes.…

The Wrong Things To Say In Every Marriage

No matter how perfect a relationship is, there will always come a time when so many things challenge it. Sometimes, even the little lies can cause a marriage to crumble down. As such, it is important for married couples to be honest with each other all the time. Both the husband and wife must learn how to communicate correctly. Whenever each spouse needs to say something, the other spouse must be willing to listen. At the same time, each partner must be understanding and patient when it comes to dealing with the issues of the marriage.

What do you do when you feel that the love you once shared with your mate has disappeared, with no apparent possibility of revival, but you adore your children and can’t imagine spending even one day apart from them? — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

Indeed, there are so many things that can stir turmoil in a marriage. A single statement or remark may lead to the end of marriage. When combined with other factors, it can result in the divorce of the spouses. To avoid this from happening, make sure that you do not lie about these matters:

“I no longer love my partner.”

The worst thing that can happen in any marriage is when one spouse loses love for the other. This is truly heartbreaking, not only for the couple but also for the children involved. Therefore, before you utter these words, make sure that you know what you are talking about. Avoid telling your husband or wife that you do not love him or her anymore when in fact, you are not sure of your emotions.

Always keep in mind that loving someone is still a choice. During the difficult times in your marriage, start thinking of all the happy things that happened during the marital union. The good ones will always outweigh the bad ones. You have the choice to fight for the marriage and renew the marriage vow.

Refrain from joking about marriage, neither yours nor anybody else’s. It’s destructive. — Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.

“I made a mistake in marrying the wrong person.”

The longer you stay in the marriage, the more you will see pass through a person. You may start to realize that the person you married years ago has changed a lot. Sometimes, you may even feel that you no longer know your husband or wife. Remember that there are so many ways to making things work for the better. As long you find it in your heart to try to work things out, then things will fall back to its right places. You can start by knowing the heart’s desires of your partner.

“My children will understand if we get a divorce.”

When a marriage ends up in divorce, the parties that will be affected include not only the spouses but also their children. This is the reason why it is significant for a couple to talk about things before making a decision. They have to consider not only their feelings but also the emotions of the kids. It can genuinely be heartbreaking for a happy marriage to end up in separation simply. Imagine how your son or daughter would feel about the break-up. A recent study shows that children who grow up in a broken family are more likely to become rebellious compared to those who have a complete family.

Our parents’ relationship leaves an emotional imprint on us that never fades. — Sean Grover L.C.S.W.