How many couples do you think come to a therapist’s office every day to try to save their marriage before the relationship becomes irreparable? Similarly, how many married individuals volunteer to get an appointment with a counselor to work on themselves and (hopefully) fix the home that their issues ruined?
It is a little hard to identify the exact number across the globe – and not everyone can openly admit to seeking marriage counseling anyway. However, what we should concern ourselves with more is the fact that couples these days need outside help to repair their relationship, which may have been shaken by cheating, anger management problems, jealousy, et cetera. That is something that our ancestors might laugh at if you suggest it to them during an argument. Issues that occur between family members should get fixed by the family members, after all, or so they used to believe.
“Gaining clarity on what your personal needs are, what your marital needs are as well as how and where to get your needs met has a huge impact on the direction you take in your marriage.” — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.
Nevertheless, marriage therapy may not be necessary once you and your spouse think back to the moments that you have experienced together after the wedding.
Why Should You Do That?
The days leading to the actual wedding day tend to be somewhat tricky for the bride-to-be, especially if she refuses to employ the services of a coordinator. That person should have been able to help search for the possible venue, caterer, gown designer, invitation creator, and various things. The upside of making that choice, though, is that you have countless memories of the activities you have done as a couple to bring your dream wedding to fruition.
The rewarding feeling that may engulf both of you once the priest or marriage officiant offers their final blessings and you look at all the well-wishers’ faces is something that troubled couples tend to forget. They try to resolve an issue by saying who’s more at fault instead of forgiving each other and remembering why they got married in the first place. If only you two focus on the latter more, life may once again be harmonious in your household.
Other post-wedding moments you should always keep in mind include:
First Kiss
The first kiss is one of the memories that even aged couples rarely forget. Even though marriage papers need to be registered to make the union official, it is this sweet moment that’s shared by the couple at the end of the ceremony that, for lack of better words, seals the deal.
“When the law says, “You belong. You have the same rights as everyone else,” that has a profound impact on how we view ourselves and each other.” — Mark O’Connell LCSW-R
Customary Dance
There are diverse concepts that brides and grooms wish to see on their unique, yet what creates fun wedding memories is the first dance that you will have with your new spouse. While it is customary, however, the kind of dance that you are going to perform together is not limited to the slow type. Some newlyweds even like to do choreographed dances at present, while others are not afraid of popping and locking in their wedding attire. The only thing that matters is that you can imagine yourself dancing with your life partner until you grow old.
First House
With the assumption that you have lived in separate houses before the marriage, stepping in the first house where you will potentially start your family together as a Mrs. to his Mr. can be a thrilling and enjoyable experience. A lot of thoughts and emotions can race in your mind and heart whenever you look at it, especially if you are yet to fill the empty spaces with furniture and, of course, photos that will always remind you of your happy days. Thus, it is not a bad idea to revisit that place once more with your partner and think of how you can go forward together.
First Pregnancy News
Newlyweds become the happiest when they find out that they are going to have a child a few months after the wedding. The soon-to-be fathers are excited about the possibility of raising a son or a daughter; the first-time mothers feel joyful with the fact that they have a baby growing in their womb. Nonetheless, how the couple feels upon realizing that their love allowed another life to be created.
“I’m certain that if more couples realized that there really is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, they’d be more willing to tough it out through the downpour.” — Michele Weiner-Davis LCSW
Final Thoughts
Keeping the relationship intact may be challenging when terrible circumstances have already rocked your marriage. However, if you have time to quarrel or look for a therapist, you should also have time to relieve the good, old days. Who knows, you may find a happy memory that will stick and make you want to forgive and forget each other’s misgivings.
Good luck!…