“Though some may have a slightly different definition of what qualifies as infidelity, most people seem to believe that it involves sexual or physical betrayal.” — Seth Meyers Psy.D.
A cheating incident – or five – throughout the marriage is typically enough for an emotionally tired wife to turn to a psychologist and ask, “Why is this happening to me?”
From what we have heard, there are a few common reasons that can explain why there are a lot of married men who risk the fate of their family and start an illicit affair with someone else. One of them is that the guy may have been influenced by his friends to date another woman behind his wife’s back. Others start to cheat after a drinking incident that has led them to sleep with a female friend or stranger, and then they have somehow kept on doing it. In some cases, the man may be subconsciously addicted to sex; that’s why he cannot stop himself from jumping into someone else’s bed.
None of these reasons sound justifiable enough to forgive a cheater – that is true – especially if it has happened on more than one occasion. Nevertheless, considering you have never been in that situation – and you don’t ever want to be – here are some ideas that every wife should remember to prevent your husband from ever cheating on you.
1. Always Check If You Are Still On The Same Page
The first thing that you should be able to do is to confirm from time to time that your goals and beliefs in life are still similar to one another. If not, then you should at least know what has changed in theirs, and vice versa.
It matters to check such aspects regardless of how long you have been together because married couples tend to drift apart when they do not talk about their long-term objectives in front of each other. One may assume that the other has lost interest; that’s why the former might start looking for love elsewhere. If you don’t wish for that to occur, you should make a point of discussing everything that happens in your lives as often as possible.
2. Look After Yourself
As harsh as it may sound, your husband may lose his affection towards you if he notices that you no longer care for your appearance. For instance, you forget to shower your hair for days or sleep in a shirt that your kid has puked on in the morning. Or, after giving birth, you may have sworn off going to the gym to look after the children, but then you stop watching your diet too and end up being as heavy as a whale.
“Some marriages can only be saved with one hundred Zen things; others cannot be saved at all. With this said, a lot of marriages can be saved with a few, relatively minor changes.” — Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.
You may argue that love is blind and that you have promised to stick with one another forever, but the reality is quite different from that. Physical attraction is essential for any couple. In case you let go of yourself like that and presume that your spouse will always be faithful to you no matter how you look, you are practically giving him an excuse to find a more attractive woman. Thus, to avoid that, you should look after yourself all the time.
3. Make Your Husband Feel Special
A married friend came to our house one day because she did not know who else to turn to. Asking what the matter was, she said that her husband was having an affair with his coworker and planning to divorce her. The longer our conversation went on, though, the more I realized that the problem was her. She would act like a princess at home, order the guy to do all the chores, and stop him from even visiting his parents – everything that could suffocate any sane individual, practically speaking.
There’s no way to save that friend’s marriage, but you can prevent such an unfortunate situation by treating your spouse correctly. Instead of making him work alone in the house, split the load equally. When he returns after a hard day at work, make sure that there’s a hot meal waiting for him on the dining table. Do not deprive your husband of sex either and perhaps even initiate it sometimes. If you go out of your way to make him feel loved, he won’t exactly have time to think of other women.
“Even when the couples were monogamous the sharing of fantasies about other people or of escapades from before these two met could make for not only stimulating pillow talk but a sense of enhanced closeness: “See how much I love and trust you. I prove it by my complete honesty.”” — Isadora Alman MFT, CST
The only way to keep your husband from cheating is by giving him no reason to do that. Follow the tips mentioned above, and you will increase the likelihood of staying in a monogamous relationship until death makes you part.