A few minutes after work, your husband arrives home, heads to the cupboard, and takes his usual bottle of wine. He sits in front of the television and drinks on his own in silence. You haven’t been talking for weeks now. Several misunderstandings regarding finances or night outs with fellow workers, but not really serious. Sex life? You don’t remember having that for some time now!
Your relationship is not doing great, and both of you know it. You really want to end the silence and fix things, but you don’t know how. Perhaps it’s time that you consider marriage counseling.
Marriage counseling may be your solution to rebuilding the bond with your spouse. It can also help you decide whether or not being together is still good for you. Either way, this type of counseling can certainly help partners understand each other better and make wise decisions.
It is often known as couples counselor or therapy, and it assists partners – married or not – in resolving disagreements and enhance their relationship. Marriage counseling offers couples the strategies and mechanisms that improve communication and problem solving, meet halfway, and even disagree more healthily and positively.
Marriage counseling is commonly provided by qualified professionals known as marriage or family counselors. These professionals offer the same services as other counselors or therapists, although with a specialized focus, which is the relationship between couples.
Marriage counseling is typically brief. It might take you just a few sessions to help you overcome your difficulties, or you may prefer to continue for months, especially if your bond has tremendously been damaged. As with individual counseling, you usually visit a marriage counselor once weekly.
Who Benefits From It?
Most relationships – especially marriages – are not perfect at all. Each individual shares his own opinions, values, personal background, and ideas into the relationship without knowing if they match your spouse’s. The differences you both have do not essentially imply that your relationship is made to fail. In fact, your differences can complement each other – opposites attract. Your differences can also help couples recognize, respect, and embrace opposing opinions and backgrounds.
Relationships can be put to the test. Disparities or activities that you previously found enjoyable may no longer be that interesting after you’ve spent some time together. Occasionally, certain concerns like lack of sex drive or infidelity cause conflicts in the relationship. Eventually, communication and affection collapse.
Whatever the reason is, negativity in a relationship can develop into unnecessary worry, stress, fear, strain, and other issues. You could wait and cross your fingers that your problems will disappear on their own. However, left neglected, an unhealthy bond may progress and ultimately cause psychological or physical conditions, like depression. A messy relationship can also cause complications in the workplace and impact other members of the family – even close friends and significant others.
Below is a list of the common concerns and problems that marriage counseling can assist you and your spouse deal with.
- Financial problem
- Alcohol or substance abuse
- Cultural differences
- Communication problems
- Sexual difficulties
- Conflicts about raising children
- Anger and other extreme tempers
- Mental and physical conditions
You don’t necessarily have to have a difficult relationship to see a counselor’s help. Marriage counseling can guide couples who desire to build or fortify their bonds and get a better appreciation and respect for one another. Marriage counseling also helps spouses who are planning to get married. Couples can seek advice to reach an understanding and fix disparities before the marriage.
How It Works
Marriage counseling usually brings spouses and couples together for joint counseling sessions. Counselors help them identify and acknowledge the sources of their disagreements and strive to fix them. You and your spouse scrutinize both the bad and good aspects of your relationship.
Marriage counseling drives you to strengthen your relationship through new abilities and strategies. These abilities include problem-solving, open communication, and rational discussion of conflicts. In some situations, like substance abuse or a mental health disorder, your marriage counselor could work with other healthcare professionals to give a thorough treatment plan.
Talking about your concerns and issues with a marriage counselor may be hard at first. The sessions could begin with long quiet gaps, and both you and your spouse could have several bouts of disagreements. But this is fine. Your counselor, in this case, will act as a pacifier or mediator and help you deal with your feelings. He must be neutral and not take sides.
After a few weeks, you may realize that your relationship with your spouse has gradually improved. On the contrary, you may conclude that your differences are no longer reconcilable, and the best thing to do is to put an end to your relationship.
Finally, if your spouse is hesitant to join you in marriage counseling, you can simply go independently. It may be challenging at first, especially since you’ll be the one learning new things for your relationship. But ultimately, you can always benefit from learning more about your behavior and responses in your relationship.