Facts About Marriage Counseling

 

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A few minutes after work, your husband arrives home, heads to the cupboard, and takes his usual bottle of wine. He sits in front of the television and drinks on his own in silence. You haven’t been talking for weeks now. Several misunderstandings regarding finances or night outs with fellow workers, but not really serious. Sex life? You don’t remember having that for some time now!

Your relationship is not doing great, and both of you know it. You really want to end the silence and fix things, but you don’t know how. Perhaps it’s time that you consider marriage counseling.

Marriage counseling may be your solution to rebuilding the bond with your spouse. It can also help you decide whether or not being together is still good for you. Either way, this type of counseling can certainly help partners understand each other better and make wise decisions.

Marriage Counseling

It is often known as couples counselor or therapy, and it assists partners – married or not – in resolving disagreements and enhance their relationship. Marriage counseling offers couples the strategies and mechanisms that improve communication and problem solving, meet halfway, and even disagree more healthily and positively.

Marriage counseling is commonly provided by qualified professionals known as marriage or family counselors. These professionals offer the same services as other counselors or therapists, although with a specialized focus, which is the relationship between couples.

Marriage counseling is typically brief. It might take you just a few sessions to help you overcome your difficulties, or you may prefer to continue for months, especially if your bond has tremendously been damaged. As with individual counseling, you usually visit a marriage counselor once weekly.

Who Benefits From It?

Most relationships – especially marriages – are not perfect at all. Each individual shares his own opinions, values, personal background, and ideas into the relationship without knowing if they match your spouse’s. The differences you both have do not essentially imply that your relationship is made to fail. In fact, your differences can complement each other – opposites attract. Your differences can also help couples recognize, respect, and embrace opposing opinions and backgrounds.

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Relationships can be put to the test. Disparities or activities that you previously found enjoyable may no longer be that interesting after you’ve spent some time together. Occasionally, certain concerns like lack of sex drive or infidelity cause conflicts in the relationship. Eventually, communication and affection collapse.

Whatever the reason is, negativity in a relationship can develop into unnecessary worry, stress, fear, strain, and other issues. You could wait and cross your fingers that your problems will disappear on their own. However, left neglected, an unhealthy bond may progress and ultimately cause psychological or physical conditions, like depression. A messy relationship can also cause complications in the workplace and impact other members of the family – even close friends and significant others.

Below is a list of the common concerns and problems that marriage counseling can assist you and your spouse deal with.

  • Financial problem
  • Infidelity
  • Alcohol or substance abuse
  • Divorce
  • Cultural differences
  • Communication problems
  • Unemployment
  • Infertility
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Conflicts about raising children
  • Anger and other extreme tempers
  • Mental and physical conditions

Fortifying Relationships

You don’t necessarily have to have a difficult relationship to see a counselor’s help. Marriage counseling can guide couples who desire to build or fortify their bonds and get a better appreciation and respect for one another. Marriage counseling also helps spouses who are planning to get married. Couples can seek advice to reach an understanding and fix disparities before the marriage.

How It Works

Marriage counseling usually brings spouses and couples together for joint counseling sessions. Counselors help them identify and acknowledge the sources of their disagreements and strive to fix them. You and your spouse scrutinize both the bad and good aspects of your relationship.

Marriage counseling drives you to strengthen your relationship through new abilities and strategies. These abilities include problem-solving, open communication, and rational discussion of conflicts. In some situations, like substance abuse or a mental health disorder, your marriage counselor could work with other healthcare professionals to give a thorough treatment plan.

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Talking about your concerns and issues with a marriage counselor may be hard at first. The sessions could begin with long quiet gaps, and both you and your spouse could have several bouts of disagreements. But this is fine. Your counselor, in this case, will act as a pacifier or mediator and help you deal with your feelings. He must be neutral and not take sides.

After a few weeks, you may realize that your relationship with your spouse has gradually improved. On the contrary, you may conclude that your differences are no longer reconcilable, and the best thing to do is to put an end to your relationship.

Finally, if your spouse is hesitant to join you in marriage counseling, you can simply go independently. It may be challenging at first, especially since you’ll be the one learning new things for your relationship. But ultimately, you can always benefit from learning more about your behavior and responses in your relationship.

 

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What I Learned About My Partner Through Couples Counseling

 

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I recall vividly the first few sessions I had with my counselor when I was telling her that my marriage was failing, and I think it’s really over between my partner and me. I sought counseling on my own because I didn’t even have the courage or the eagerness to invite my partner to come with me. My counselor then allowed me to open up to her and express my sadness, frustration, and disappointment. There was very little hope left in me, and Alba, my counselor, was merely there to be a sounding board to listen to the whole gamut of feelings and issues that I had.

After a few months of counseling, I slowly instilled hope in myself, and I decided to ask my partner if he was willing to try and fix our marriage. Surprisingly, he wanted to. That was the beginning of the end of our constant blaming and arguing. We eventually came to look forward to our visits with Alba, as everything we learned about forgiving, understanding, and accepting, we learned from counseling.

One crucial thing that I want to share with you is that my partner and I – just like you and your partner – have numerous differences. Perhaps like us, you too will come to learn how to recognize and embrace each other’s differences.

Below are some things that I learned about my partner:

  • His Way Of Communicating. We have our unique ways of connecting with others, both close to us and those with whom we are just establishing relationships. We communicate with each other, and how we deal with our partners and their desires is vital in keeping a positive and healthy marriage.

 

  • His Way Of Handling Conflict. As with communication style, we have various ways of handling conflict, but often we don’t exert enough effort and time to understand how our partners deal with conflict. In couples counseling, the third party (the counselor) observes and determines methods to handle conflict and meet each other halfway to avoid misunderstanding.

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  • He Is Not Perfect. You might be wondering, “It’s obvious why they need to see a counselor.” However, we frequently have high standards for our partners that we do not even extend them with the patience and kindness that they have earned. In our sessions, I realized that my partner is not perfect, but so am I. But despite the imperfection, we must only find ways to fill each other’s flaws so that the marriage is ‘perfectly’ established.

 

  • Differences Are Not Insufficiencies. I sometimes hear people say that they are the exact opposite of their partner. Realistically, we are all uniquely and wonderfully made. My partner and I have distinct personalities, beliefs, and values, as we were raised from different backgrounds. We committed to work through our various personalities and learned strategies to help us avoid conflict.

 

  • He Has His Own Love Language. My partner knows that he easily sways me when he buys me plants to add to my garden, and a short back massage can change my most unpleasant mood. A healthy serving of my baked chicken with gravy, on the other hand, pacifies him. Indeed, my partner and I have a different love language, and I am thankful that we learned that through counseling.

 

  • We Don’t Connect In The Same Way. As a couple, we often struggle to look for ways to connect, which was a major factor that led to conflict. Through counseling, I learned that my partner would rather talk it out in person because he hates texting or chatting, but I don’t really mind if I talk with him on the phone for hours. It seems that I can’t get enough of him when he’s not home!

 

  • He Has Other Priorities – And That’s Okay. Going to my parents’ house on weekends is a priority for me outside of my marriage. However, my partner makes it a point to go fishing twice a week, and I used to find it impractical and costly. I learned, though, that it was his way of relaxing and spending time for himself. It keeps his mental and physical well-being at bay.

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  • He Needs Me For Most Things. Before we went to counseling, I always thought my partner was too clingy and dependent on me. However, I didn’t think I was too selfish when I obliged him to keep me company when I went shopping because I didn’t want to drive – and he does it anyway. Counseling helped us realize that we had different needs from each other and whether they were relatively simple or complicated, they are needs that we both can provide as partners – because we loved and respected each other.

Conclusion

Couples counseling has played a tremendous role in saving my marriage and helping my partner and me establish a healthy and positive relationship. Are you having problems with your marriage? Try to consult a counselor in your area. He might be what you and your partner need.

 

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Frequently Asked Questions About Cognitive Dissonance

Are you having problems with your significant other because of psychological conflict? This conflict may be a sign of cognitive dissonance. It is common in every relationship, but most people are not aware of it.

If you want to know more about cognitive dissonance and how you can manage it, read on.

The word “cognitive” relates to conscious intellectual activities like thinking, remembering, and reasoning. On the other hand, dissonance refers to the lack of agreement.

Social psychologist Leon Festinger first introduced the Cognitive Dissonance Theory (CDT) in 1957. It refers to the discomfort in maintaining consistency between two thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, and values. We struggle once we find conflict within these multiple cognitions.

So, what is the connection of cognitive dissonance to relationships?

Your current significant other may not be your ideal partner, but you accept them for who they are and stay in the relationship. Another example is when your partner does things you’re not fond of, but you try to compromise with them.

When these things happen, you have a conflict between your cognition and your partner’s. That is cognitive dissonance.

Moreover, cognitive dissonance may lead to infidelity. There may be a discrepancy in a person’s self-concept, leading them to cheat even if they believe they are loyal and faithful.  When this happens, they experience psychological discomfort, affecting their thoughts and feelings.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy where you talk to your therapist regarding your thoughts, feelings, and conflicts. This therapy aids in resolving disagreements in relationships, among many issues. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help if you struggle with opening up about your feelings.

You should always consult an expert—your mental health provider, for advice. They can recommend any treatment, like therapies, they deem helpful for you.

Below are some frequently asked questions about cognitive dissonance.

What is cognitive dissonance therapy?

If the consequences of cognitive dissonance have become too severe, you can seek the help of a therapist. You might discover that specific thoughts are influencing your behavior for the worse.

Your therapist will work with you to untangle the web of beliefs and ideas you may have about a situation. Once you recognize the disparity between your thoughts and behavior, it becomes easier to resolve it.

Why is cognitive dissonance bad?

Cognitive dissonance is not always harmful. But if your behavior is not aligned with your core values, you may experience intense feelings. It may include feelings of shame, guilt, and stress. These emotions can negatively affect your self-esteem and interpersonal relationships.

As a result, you might engage in maladaptive behaviors to reconcile the contradictions.

Is cognitive dissonance a disorder?

No, but it can cause emotional distress and harmful behaviors. People may deliberately avoid information that does not conform to their beliefs. They may also refuse a healthy debate to resolve the conflict. In some cases, cognitive dissonance can strain relationships and prevent self-growth.

What is cognitive dissonance in relationships?

It refers to the dissonance that arises when your partner’s beliefs or behaviors may not align with your own. Your partner may have different views on mundane things. But you need to be on the same boat when it comes to planning your future.

You may choose to have an in-depth conversation to resolve the cognitive dissonance or make compromises.

What are the 4 types of relationships?

The four types of interpersonal relationships are between families, friends, acquaintances, and romantic partners. Relationships are bonds between two or more people. It can be long-lasting or short-lived. The duration depends on the commitment of those involved to maintain the relationship.

 

What are some examples of cognitive dissonance?

A person may experience cognitive dissonance due to inherited beliefs about themselves and the world. One example is smokers and alcoholics justifying their harmful habits.

Another example is when a person is taught that being gay is a sin. They might experience cognitive dissonance when the person then identifies as a member of the said community. It can also come in the form of acquired biases or misconceptions about minority groups.

How do you break cognitive dissonance?

It might be impossible to eliminate cognitive dissonance. However, you can reduce the resulting mental tension by changing your behavior.

You can also alter your beliefs so that they are in accordance with your actions. It might be uncomfortable, but you may have to unlearn and relearn particular ideas that may not be relevant anymore.

How do you recognize cognitive dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is when you feel conflicted over something but do not know how to move forward. It might be hard to recognize it at the onset, but you can take a step back to ask why you feel conflicted.

Pay close attention to the thoughts, feelings, and ideas you have about a situation. For severe cases of cognitive dissonance, it’s best to seek professional help.

How does cognitive dissonance lead to an attitude change?

To reduce cognitive dissonance, a person may:

  1. Change their existing beliefs,
  2. Acquire new information that supports their belief, or
  3. Reduce the importance of said beliefs.

A person seeking to sustain their smoking habit can refuse to believe that smoking is harmful. They may also seek out information that confirms their belief. They may even adopt a belief that the short-term benefits of smoking outweigh the long-term consequences.

How does cognitive dissonance affect workplace behavior?

It varies depending on their beliefs and behaviors. But then,  cognitive dissonance can affect employee performance and work relationships. For instance, an employee may discover that the company has questionable practices that do not align with his values. To reduce the tension, they may justify unethical behavior.

At the same time, there is also a tendency to make excessive rationalizations. They may lose motivation to perform their job. It is also possible to experience heightened workplace stress that can affect their productivity.

Why does cognitive dissonance occur?

Cognitive dissonance occurs due to discrepancies between a person’s beliefs and actions or their beliefs and values. It’s not always possible to act in strict accordance with our beliefs all the time.  Cognitive dissonance is a necessary component of a child’s learning process.

What is an example of dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance is when a person knows that smoking is harmful to their health but keeps on doing it anyway. Another example is when you keep making excuses to put off exercise even though you’re aware of its many health benefits.

How does cognitive dissonance operate in everyday life?

Cognitive dissonance is not always blatant. It usually comes in the form of everyday excuses we make in life. From missing an exercise day or justifying a “white lie,” we sometimes think or do things that contradict our values. The tension depends on how severe the contradiction is.

What is cognitive conflict?

Cognitive conflict is another term for cognitive dissonance. When a person …

Frequently Asked Questions About Depression And Relationships

It is funny how a relationship gets ruin for no reason. Yes, a relationship may fail even without the presence of a third party. That is because emotional and mental health issues can become a factor. Some might not agree with that, I know. But for those couples who are struggling with mental and emotional health issues, the reality is different.

Not all relationships can work, especially when one or both of them already decided that things aren’t under control. Some instances believe that the mere reason for a failed commitment is falling out of love. But I doubt that. No one easily falls out of love just because they think it’s trendy or entirely necessary. There is a strong reason behind that statement, and for quite a while, I realized it was all because of the mental and emotional damage present in the relationship.

You might not agree with me, but let me explain some things to you from these frequently asked questions. From there, it is your choice to look deep into these answers and try to use them for your own relationship evaluation.

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How does mental illness affect relationships? 

Mental health problems are an extremely painful and traumatic moment for all individuals as it creates a huge impact on emotional components. It impacts people’s ability to express empathy due to the persistent feelings of anxiety and isolation and causes codependency or even resentment. There is a struggle to know what individuals should do to cope with their stress while trying their best to handle other life pressure.

Anxiety and depression affect relationships in a very unnoticeable way. Sometimes, it can leave both parties unaware of their words, actions, and behaviors. Often, the mental health condition makes it impossible for both individuals to look beneath what is more important.

 What is the relationship between stress and depression? 

When stress is prolonged and promotes an overwhelming feeling, the risks for developing medical problems and mental health problems increase. Chronic stressful life situations are inevitable. Thus, the possibility of depression is right around the corner. However, the damages are not limited to that. Stress contributes to more health issues such as sleep problems, substance use problems, pain, bodily complaints, inability to focus and concentrate, etc.

 What are the types of depression? 

The common types of depression are Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), Psychotic Depression, Peripartum (Postpartum) Depression, and Situational Depression.

 What diseases are linked to depression? 

Some examples of diseases linked to depression are arthritis, kidney disease, diabetes, heart disease, lupus, HIV/AIDS, and multiple sclerosis (MS). Even Hypothyroidism also leads to depressed feelings. That is due to the fears and anxiety that tend to build-up over time.

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 What is the number one cause of depression?

Research shows that depression does not just occur from simply having too little or too much of certain chemicals in the brain. Rather, there are many possible causes of the mental disorder including, genetic vulnerability, abuse, addiction, death or loss of a loved one, conflict, medications, stressful life events, dysfunctional emotions, and medical problems.

How does depression change your personality?

Though not all the time, depression can still change someone’s personality in an instant. Often individuals become irritable, frustrated, angry, and impulsive. And despite knowing the cause of the emotional and mental issues, both couples tend to ignore it because of their irrational thinking. In cases where couples attempt to quell the pain, some turn to cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, and other unhealthy habits that risk their health even further. They do not understand that mental health is associated with high risks of violence, other forms of self-harm, and suicide.

Why do females have a higher rate of depression than males?

Depression rates are higher in females than in males, especially after hitting puberty. That is because girls usually enter puberty before boys do. Thus, they’re more likely to develop earlier emotional and mental issues regarding desire, self-image, peer pressure, etc.

But despite that information, it does not mean men are less affected. While females may have higher rates of depression, males are often victims of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. That is because of gender roles where society perceived males as dominant creature that is somehow not allowed to feel or show weakness.

How do you deal with sadness in a relationship?

While everyone’s depression experience is unique, few things can help couples address the situation. The first and foremost step is to educate themselves about the danger of depression. Both need to separate facts from fiction. The couples should focus on taking care of one another and find support with each other’s presence. Both of them should not take their stress and anxiety personally, and they should not lash out at one another. They need to become a team to win over their mental health issues.

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What is a toxic relationship?

The answer is simple. A toxic relationship is when couples don’t support each other. When the goal of one of them is to undermine the other, then that is considered a toxic relationship. Everything around these people is competition, compensation, favors, and extreme imbalance. Toxic relationships do not compromise, give, forgive and forget.

How do you know if your partner is mentally unstable?

It is vital to pay close attention to your partner when it comes to depressive symptoms that are affecting your relationship. One way to identify if your loved one is mentally unstable is when there is often aggression. When your partner often gets upset, he or she might be dealing with emotional and mental issues that are hard to express. When your partner loses interest or shows no empathy towards you, that is also a sign of unstable mental health. When your partner cannot admit mistakes, fears criticisms, stiff with others, dramatic or overacting, then those are warning signs too.

Takeaway

Be mindful that not because you think your partner is okay does not mean he or she is. It would be nice for to you talk with your loved ones about his thoughts and feelings. Allow your partner to express his emotional and mental struggle. Because sometimes, the only way you can get rid of depression is through being there for the one you love.

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Promoting Family Mental Health During The Pandemic

Promoting Family Mental Health During The Pandemic

At this time of the pandemic, it is vital to remain as healthy as possible. Staying healthy as a family is rewarding because you can avoid unnecessary vulnerability to diseases and unexpected medical expenses. While maintaining physical health is necessary, having a good state of mind with the family is essential to a holistic approach to overall health. Promoting mental health is also one way to cope up with the psychological stress of the pandemic. 

Parents, the primary decision-makers in the family, play a crucial role during the pandemic. Their parental parts have now become more taxing because of the new work arrangements and tight health protocols in essential establishments such as the grocery and the bank.

Exploring Mental Health

Learning about mental health with the family is a fulfilling experience. The family can get to know more about each other by exploring the member’s mental health. Knowing more about the mental state can help in understanding the psychological needs of the family. Behaviors and intentions become more transparent and better understood when acknowledged by the family.

Information about mental health is free on most websites. Be sure to check the credibility and reputability of the source for factual knowledge. If you want a detailed discussion about mental health, you can also set an appointment with a psychologist or a psychiatrist. 

Ways To Cope With Stress

The pandemic is causing stress and is dramatically impacting the psychological well-being of most people. Because of COVID-19, numerous people lost their jobs, businesses closed down, and even the children are feeling stressed. It is a challenging time for everyone. This unforeseen circumstance led to unexpected changes that everyone has to adapt to. In times like this, it is essential to find ways to cope that works best for you.

Children should have activities to stimulate their thinking and their bodies. They may feel bored and anxious because they may not fully understand what is going on, so explain it to them well. If possible, try to minimize screen time to facilitate more physical activities. Encourage your children to try different activities they may enjoy, such as arts, crafts, reading, exercising, and gardening. Child mental health needs critical focus because they, too, can feel the effects of the pandemic.

Parents also need to have a way of coping. Find time to do things that relax your mind, such as spending quality time with the family, cooking, working out and other hobbies that you might have put off. You can also try doing things together with your family to be productive and show support to each other. 

Prevent Unhealthy Habits

During the pandemic, people need to stay at home most of the time. You could find new hobbies and pastimes to keep you feeling productive and active. However, it is crucial to make sure that these new activities are healthy. Beware that some hobbies that could be detrimental to you and your family and can further add stress and psychological strain.

For children, it is necessary to control their time on gadgets and other digital media. It is essential to instill discipline in children to prevent the disruption from their responsibilities. The screen time should be limited to allow the children to do their chores and daily tasks. Setting boundaries and scheduling help them know the value of time. These can also prevent overexposure to activities that could lead to addiction.

Meanwhile, adults are prone to addiction and vices. Some people may develop detrimental habits during the pandemic as a way to cope with the situation. To prevent this from happening, couples should support each other to keep their partners from bad habits. Help your partner get distracted by exploring new activities together as a replacement to the vices. Never hesitate to seek professional help if you and your partner feel helpless.

Supporting Each Other’s Problems

The pandemic has caused many difficulties and threats to humanity. From battling the disease’s complications to facing the economic crises, almost everyone is at their limits. To survive this pandemic, it is critical to stay resilient and adaptive. As a family, you need to support each other because a robust support system can do wonders for the family members.

Whether you have a family member who is sick or someone who lost a job, be sure to support them in the best way possible.

Having a family member with health complications is one of the last things you want to happen in your family. It is debilitating to the function of family members and causes severe emotional and mental stress. But by being there for each other, it can help release the psychological stress and ease the emotional burden. You can also look for support from your relatives and social groups. 

With or without the pandemic, it is not easy to accept losing a job. This circumstance typically results in the questioning of self-worth and value. At the same time, it threatens the economic security of the family. If you have a family member going through this challenging situation, be sure to be there to reassure them of their value and that there is still hope for them.

Having good mental health with your family will be a daunting but fulfilling task. You get to know each other’s behaviors and learn more about their emotional needs. Explore different ways to cope with the effects of the pandemic together with the family. Support one another with the struggles and problems by showing appreciation and value to each other. 

Always have hope and faith in your family that you can make it through this pandemic. No matter how hard life will be, having a supportive family ensures that you will find a calm center in your life.

Healthy Family, Healthy Marriage: How To Nurture Your Family’s Health And Wellness During The Pandemic

Today, we are faced with many stressful situations and unfamiliar circumstances brought by the COVID-19 pandemic. We are called to navigate through a new normal and change the way we spend our days mostly just stuck at home. This can be a tough time for families and marriages, and it could trigger anxiety and fear for anyone, both young and old. 

It is essential to look out for your family’s health and wellness during this time. The “new normal” can leave anyone feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. So we must find ways to stay stable and positive despite all the uncertainties. Here are practical ways to nurture your family’s health and wellness during the pandemic. 

Establish A Healthy Routine At Home 

A healthy routine at home is essential because it gives a sense of order amidst all the changes and adjustments that can be quite overwhelming and stressful. This way, there is somehow a continuous flow of events or activities that are predictable despite all the uncertainties the pandemic has brought about. 

For young children, routines are established for them to know what to expect in their day and eventually find rhythm and independence. During these uncertain times, this could apply to people of all ages because everyone is called to navigate through a new normal, which has changed the way we spend our days. 

Strengthen The Immune System 

A healthy immune system is needed now more than ever as we all go through this pandemic. This is our number one shield from contracting the coronavirus. The best thing you can do to fend off the unpredictable spread of the virus is by focusing on boosting your family’s immunity and health. 

Your family’s diet and eating habits are two things that can be altered right now to strengthen the immune system. Encourage your family to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, stay hydrated, take vitamins and supplements, get some sunlight, and exercise regularly. 

Regulate Screen Time 

The daily news updates about COVID-19 can be quite overwhelming and may trigger anxiety and fear. Although it is necessary to stay updated, regulating screen time and allotting time off TV news or social media is good for everyone’s mental health. This is also to help one focus on accomplishing daily tasks and responsibilities despite the turbulence, which can really take a toll on one’s productivity. 

As for kids and teenagers who may be using gadgets all day because they are just stuck at home, it is best to set boundaries and encourage them to do other activities. Discipline with screen time for every member is good for everyone physically, emotionally, and socially.

Exercise Together 

Exercising together is a simple way to bond as a family while helping each other stay fit and healthy. Doing exercise with the family is also great motivation, especially for people who do not really like exercising. This keeps your endorphins high and increases blood circulation in your brain, reducing stress and keeping your body healthy. 

Find fun and creative ways to move and break a sweat. Follow home workout videos, play backyard games and sports, ride the bike, or walk together.

Manage Conflicts Positively 

We are all facing a time of distress, and the last thing you would want is additional stress from mishandled conflicts. During this time, disagreements may typically arise because of all the overwhelming circumstances.

It is important to remember to deal with frictions as positively as possible without letting your emotions get the best of you. Respond calmly and acknowledge your feelings. Instead of reacting negatively and impulsively, take time to sort out the problem, and encourage a healthy dialogue between family members. 

Set Up Virtual Gatherings

With the help of technology and social media, staying connected with relatives and friends despite the physical distance is possible. Many might be experiencing cabin fever, so interacting virtually with people outside the home may give a sense of normalcy and connection. 

In the virtual world, it is possible to throw birthday parties, celebrate graduations and other milestones, host playdates, do simple catch-ups, and even do activities such as exercising, cooking, and playing games. Despite the need for social distancing, we must find ways to cultivate our social lives to draw comfort and a deep sense of connection.

Schedule Family Bonding Activities  

Despite everyone being busy adjusting to their new work or school home set-up and schedule, it is essential to bond as a family. Although family bonding is usually done outside of the home, there are many ways to make family bonding time at home fun and meaningful still. Here are some ideas: 

  • Host a family cook-off 
  • Revive old puzzles and board games  
  • Schedule movie nights  
  • Watch home videos 
  • Look back at old pictures 
  • Listen to throwback music 
  • Do DIY projects together 

Take Care Of Your Well-Being 

Taking care of your well-being is just as important as looking out for your family’s health and wellness. Despite being around your whole family almost 24/7, it is essential to set aside time to rest and reset your mind and body. This is a way to help manage emotions and regulate stress. You can help other people better if you also take care of yourself. 

Final Thoughts 

According to Dr. Nel Wieman, MD, “It will be very helpful if people can stay calm, keep themselves informed, and feel in control of the measures that they can take to protect themselves and their families.” The pandemic can undoubtedly affect one’s health and wellness. Still, there are many ways to strengthen family bonds and come out stronger after this challenging time.

Life after COVID-19 may, however, look uncertain at this point. So it is vital to look out for your family and find ways to create a sense of normalcy at home while adjusting to the new normal. 

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Treating Your Cheating Husband Like A Coronavirus

The day you learn that your husband has been cheating on you with another woman all this time is perhaps the worst day you will ever go through. After all, you have promised to each other that you will be together until death befalls either of you. But due to your man’s infidelity, you may be unable to decide if you will speed things up for him or give him another chance to change.

Either way, it seems fitting to compare a cheater to the coronavirus, which has been plaguing the entire world. They are both seen as a menace, and what they have done to innocent people like you cannot be forgiven quickly. 

In case your pain is blurring the correct path that you should take, you should try the following tips that used to only apply to the coronavirus:

Isolate Yourself From Him

The coronavirus has pushed almost every world leader to place a lot of countries under lockdown. No one is supposed to cross the borders; even if you are a citizen trying to come home, you need to wait until the orders ease up. Any person who has or is suspected of having COVID-19 also need to isolate themselves for a minimum of 14 days to avoid spreading the disease.

Now, if you treat your cheating husband like a coronavirus, it entails that you must stay away from him as best as you can. Avoid letting him in if he knocks on your door; try not to answer their calls and texts. It will also be great if you stop talking to your mutual friends who may try to coax you to forgive and forget the infidelity. This way, you can contemplate your next move without getting agitated by other people.

Look For A Way To Get Rid Of Him For Good

Assuming you have had enough of your spouse’s cheating habits, congratulations are in order. You are the wife; you should never need to share your husband with anyone. If he suggests otherwise, then you have every right to remove him from your life for good.

Feeling confused about what your first step should be is understandable. Still, think about why the scientists are looking for a vaccine that will immunize everyone against the coronavirus. When you get a shot of it, the disease will no longer affect you. And what a vaccine does for coronavirus is what an adultery case or divorce does for a cheater. 

Learn How To Take Care Of Yourself 

If the coronavirus can talk, it must be spewing expletives towards healthy people. After all, it is easier for any virus to stick to unhealthy folks than the latter. Even when the coronavirus manages to get past the body’s first line of defense, the patients eventually recover and don’t suffer from too many symptoms.

Given that your cheating husband is no better than the coronavirus, seeing you doing well without them will wallop him. That is especially true for some guys who think that you have no choice but to forgive whatever they do since you can’t survive by yourself. In reality, you can build up your career, try online counseling (e.g., BetterHelp), and become financially independent. And when you start taking care of your body and mind, your spouse may regret fooling around behind your back and try to kneel at your feet.

Final Thoughts

The main question is: Will you still forgive and accept a man who has cheated on you? 

The decision is and will always be up to you. However, please do not think that taking back your cheating husband is your only option. Like a coronavirus, his cheating habits can surface anytime, considering that he has already had a taste for it.

Be wise and keep your heart, mind, and body safe. Good luck!

How The Lockdown Saved My Marriage

My marriage has been on the rocks since the past year. There was no third party involved; neither my wife nor I had troubling behaviors or addictions. Our primary problem was that our work schedules had not been matching up, and we seldom saw each other at home.

You see, I run a restaurant downtown from 6 P.M. up to 2 A.M. My wife, on the other hand, is a marketing executive whose job requires her to work overtime often. Sometimes, she would come to the restaurant to say hi to me. Other times, I would stay at home until she’s back. But we both got too busy at the same time, and no one seemed to want to give up career opportunities in favor of the marriage.

Fast forward to 2020, my news about the coronavirus outbreak reached our radar. Our city—New York—turned out to have the highest number of infected individuals. I had to close my restaurant when the governor issued a lockdown. My wife’s office had to shut down, too. All of a sudden, we found ourselves at home together after a long time.
And it felt incredible. Without a doubt, the lockdown has saved my marriage. Here’s how.

We Have Endless Hours To Talk

The primary issue that we had had as a couple is the fact that we cannot sit down and hash things out. When I have time to talk, my wife is either busy or fast asleep. I am mostly in a similar state when she is ready for a conversation. The result is that we end up chatting about who will go out to pay the bills and get groceries.

The lockdown, however, has given us plenty of time to talk. I remember us having dinner, and I open the conversation with a simple “How are you?”. It has opened the floodgate of emotions for us, and we talk nonstop nowadays.

We Can Do Everything Together

Before the quarantine, it has felt like we are doing things like a tag team. When one is out, the other has to do the chores. It is a give-and-take situation, but our routine has become no different from that of regular roommates.

Ever since the lockdown has been issued, we do everything as a team. The other day, we cleaned the house together. When we did the laundry, my wife was in charge of the first rotation while I did the second one. Yesterday, we went grocery shopping. Not only did it make such activities fun and almost effortless, but it improved our dynamics as a married couple.

Our Sexual Relationship Has Been Rekindled

As troubling as it may sound, my wife and I have not had sex ever since we became swamped with work. We still slept in the same bed every night, but I would pass out instantly when my back hits the mattress. Meanwhile, my wife had to get ready for work early, and she would be gone every time I woke up.

This lack of sexual relationship only stopped when we got quarantined together. After fixing our communication issues, it was as if we were at the honeymoon stage again.

Final Thoughts

I am fully aware as to why the lockdown is hard for many people. It has negatively affected my business, too, and I hope that it will end soon. However, I cannot deny that it is a blessing in disguise for my failing marriage. Now, even when the governor lifts the quarantine, I believe that my wife and I will be able to work around each other’s schedules better than ever.

Stay at home, guys!…

Does An Open Marriage Really Work?

 

What is the concept of marriage? As far as I can remember, when I married my husband, the vow was to be united and become one with him, to be true and to be intimate only to him. However, it seems some couples want to make their vows AFTER their marriage because they think it will make things better. To stop the arguments and infidelity issues, they decide to go into an open marriage. But can it possibly resolve anything? Can it save a distressed marriage?

“A marriage is only as strong as the two individuals. A great marriage – not just a good one – is one where each man does his own inner work and supports his husband to do the same.” — Mark O’Connell LCSW-R

In actuality, the idea of an open marriage is not as new as we think it is. This type of relationship has been seen years back, although not as prevalent as now. The increasing number of couples who want to try an open marriage maybe because as infidelity heightens, couples want to justify their actions and would rather find a reason to save the marriage than resolve the matter. If the intimacy is gone between the couples, then perhaps an open relationship would solve it, as this is only a sex issue. But would it work?

The most deafening answer is NO. It won’t help strengthen a marriage, nor does it encourage honesty in the relationship. Here are a few reasons why.

  • Rules Don’t Equal Real Emotions. When a spouse cheats and tells his partner that he loves her no matter what, they think that their love and trust for each other sill encompass anything, which is why some of them are willing to permit others to ‘join’ the union temporarily, just to fill in what’s lacking in the marriage. But we all know it’s easier said than done. Remember that emotions don’t mind the rules. If a spouse sees another to fill in the gaps, the rule here is, of course, to not get emotionally involved. Eventually, he gets attracted at a deeper level; the rules will be so much harder to follow. Instead of helping the marriage, the only thing it will do is to worsen it.

“Needs vs. wants—it’s not just semantics.” — Catherine Aponte Psy.D.

  • Jealousy Is Inevitable. Envy is one of the things that an open relationship wants to avoid. If the couple says, they truly love each other, letting another person in the relationship will not cause any jealousy – or at least that’s the rule. But humans are innately possessive, especially when it comes to things and people we love. No matter how modern or open-minded you think you are, it won’t be easy to acknowledge that you are sharing your spouse to another – your lifetime partner and father of your kids. If you are not at all affected by it, though, you might want to assess your feelings towards your spouse. Perhaps they’ve gotten cold because of what you’ve been through.
  • Self-esteem Will Absolutely Suffer. Having friends and significant others is an important part of one’s life simply because you can’t find everything in one person. But when your spouse talks you out of wanting to connect with another physically or intimately apparently to ‘save the marriage,’ and you reluctantly agree, it will slowly devour you and your self-esteem. You start to wonder why he asked for it in the first place, and then you think that you are not enough for your spouse. To solve this, you may seek attention from others and will push you to see others as well. The vicious cycle continues and will ultimately destroy the marriage.

Final Thoughts

If you and your partner are considering open marriage, perhaps you should think twice or thrice before doing so. It might look like a promising solution to your marriage problems, but then again, it may only be a temporary mask to the real issue at hand. It might even add more insult to the injury that your marriage has already gone through.

“Accepting concepts that have been considered blasphemous by some in our culture—like making it okay to marry for money, having term limits, or opening our minds to open marriage—would make marriage more practical and realistic.” — Susan Pease Gadoua L.C.S.W.

 

 

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10 Ways to Help Yourself When Your Spouse Has Depression

 

Loving someone with mental illness is one of the most challenging experiences a person can have. — Seth Meyers Psy.D.

If your spouse has depression, it is highly likely that you are in for an emotional ride that will be very difficult to handle. You will feel helpless and you will also feel like breaking, but it is important to keep your cool while you work on yourself and your relationship. Remember, you married your spouse “for better or for worse”. You need to remember that.

 

Anyway, here are 10 ways that will help you in this challenging ride.…