What is the concept of marriage? As far as I can remember, when I married my husband, the vow was to be united and become one with him, to be true and to be intimate only to him. However, it seems some couples want to make their vows AFTER their marriage because they think it will make things better. To stop the arguments and infidelity issues, they decide to go into an open marriage. But can it possibly resolve anything? Can it save a distressed marriage?
In actuality, the idea of an open marriage is not as new as we think it is. This type of relationship has been seen years back, although not as prevalent as now. The increasing number of couples who want to try an open marriage maybe because as infidelity heightens, couples want to justify their actions and would rather find a reason to save the marriage than resolve the matter. If the intimacy is gone between the couples, then perhaps an open relationship would solve it, as this is only a sex issue. But would it work?
The most deafening answer is NO. It won’t help strengthen a marriage, nor does it encourage honesty in the relationship. Here are a few reasons why.
- Rules Don’t Equal Real Emotions. When a spouse cheats and tells his partner that he loves her no matter what, they think that their love and trust for each other sill encompass anything, which is why some of them are willing to permit others to ‘join’ the union temporarily, just to fill in what’s lacking in the marriage. But we all know it’s easier said than done. Remember that emotions don’t mind the rules. If a spouse sees another to fill in the gaps, the rule here is, of course, to not get emotionally involved. Eventually, he gets attracted at a deeper level; the rules will be so much harder to follow. Instead of helping the marriage, the only thing it will do is to worsen it.
- Jealousy Is Inevitable. Envy is one of the things that an open relationship wants to avoid. If the couple says, they truly love each other, letting another person in the relationship will not cause any jealousy – or at least that’s the rule. But humans are innately possessive, especially when it comes to things and people we love. No matter how modern or open-minded you think you are, it won’t be easy to acknowledge that you are sharing your spouse to another – your lifetime partner and father of your kids. If you are not at all affected by it, though, you might want to assess your feelings towards your spouse. Perhaps they’ve gotten cold because of what you’ve been through.
- Self-esteem Will Absolutely Suffer. Having friends and significant others is an important part of one’s life simply because you can’t find everything in one person. But when your spouse talks you out of wanting to connect with another physically or intimately apparently to ‘save the marriage,’ and you reluctantly agree, it will slowly devour you and your self-esteem. You start to wonder why he asked for it in the first place, and then you think that you are not enough for your spouse. To solve this, you may seek attention from others and will push you to see others as well. The vicious cycle continues and will ultimately destroy the marriage.
If you and your partner are considering open marriage, perhaps you should think twice or thrice before doing so. It might look like a promising solution to your marriage problems, but then again, it may only be a temporary mask to the real issue at hand. It might even add more insult to the injury that your marriage has already gone through.
If your spouse has depression, it is highly likely that you are in for an emotional ride that will be very difficult to handle. You will feel helpless and you will also feel like breaking, but it is important to keep your cool while you work on yourself and your relationship. Remember, you married your spouse “for better or for worse”. You need to remember that.
Anyway, here are 10 ways that will help you in this challenging ride.…
No matter how perfect a relationship is, there will always come a time when so many things challenge it. Sometimes, even the little lies can cause a marriage to crumble down. As such, it is important for married couples to be honest with each other all the time. Both the husband and wife must learn how to communicate correctly. Whenever each spouse needs to say something, the other spouse must be willing to listen. At the same time, each partner must be understanding and patient when it comes to dealing with the issues of the marriage.
Indeed, there are so many things that can stir turmoil in a marriage. A single statement or remark may lead to the end of marriage. When combined with other factors, it can result in the divorce of the spouses. To avoid this from happening, make sure that you do not lie about these matters:
“I no longer love my partner.”
The worst thing that can happen in any marriage is when one spouse loses love for the other. This is truly heartbreaking, not only for the couple but also for the children involved. Therefore, before you utter these words, make sure that you know what you are talking about. Avoid telling your husband or wife that you do not love him or her anymore when in fact, you are not sure of your emotions.
Always keep in mind that loving someone is still a choice. During the difficult times in your marriage, start thinking of all the happy things that happened during the marital union. The good ones will always outweigh the bad ones. You have the choice to fight for the marriage and renew the marriage vow.
“I made a mistake in marrying the wrong person.”
The longer you stay in the marriage, the more you will see pass through a person. You may start to realize that the person you married years ago has changed a lot. Sometimes, you may even feel that you no longer know your husband or wife. Remember that there are so many ways to making things work for the better. As long you find it in your heart to try to work things out, then things will fall back to its right places. You can start by knowing the heart’s desires of your partner.
“My children will understand if we get a divorce.”
When a marriage ends up in divorce, the parties that will be affected include not only the spouses but also their children. This is the reason why it is significant for a couple to talk about things before making a decision. They have to consider not only their feelings but also the emotions of the kids. It can genuinely be heartbreaking for a happy marriage to end up in separation simply. Imagine how your son or daughter would feel about the break-up. A recent study shows that children who grow up in a broken family are more likely to become rebellious compared to those who have a complete family.…
The couple who are in a long term relationship can all relate that at the beginning of a relationship, there are the so called butterflies and sparks coming out of nowhere. Everything was blissful and beautiful between you and your partner. But as the years go by, or maybe even decades, that spark and excitement will eventually fizzle out. That is perfectly normal actually, all kinds of relationships will go through that stage. But as they say ” Marriage is hard work between two people who refuse to give up on each other”.…
There are many challenges that couples face in their marriage, infidelity being one of the most devastating. When your spouse cheats on you, you would feel angry, betrayed, hurt, and in despair. The broken trust is very difficult to restore and the damage that you feel will seem irreparable. But if your husband has ended the affair and is committed to saving your marriage, he must also be willing to initiate the first step of reconciliation by being remorseful and honest about his infidelity and should be ready to tell you everything. Studies suggest that more marriages are saved when the unfaithful partner opens up about the affair.
As for the aggrieved – you – your marriage can only be saved if you also agree to try and fix things with you and your husband. Forgiving takes time, as does the healing. You will go through a process that may have several roadblocks along the way, but if you are both in it to save it, your marriage has a chance.…
In the past, there have been proven reports of couples getting divorced after marrying at a young age. Immaturity, unexpected pregnancy in women, infidelity and impulsiveness are some of the top reasons for couples to marry young. In fact, divorces rates are down to 50% in age groups above 25 years old, wherein couples are usually stable emotionally and financially.